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Helping a Friend During a Painful Process (open)
Hello ladies, (and what few gentlemen spend time here.)
I have a friend who will be going in for an abortion later on this week. Although I have miscarried in the past, I have never had a clinical abortion, and want to make her as comfortable as possible. She's not the sort of girl who asks to have her hand held very often, so I know this bothers her, and I want to support her as best I can.
So I address those of you who have had a clinical abortion: What do you think would make this young woman comfortable in the hours and days after the proceedure? I have until Thursday afternoon to get this decided on, but she'll be staying with my husband and I for a few days while she recovers. (She is a young adult who is in college and lives with her parents, and doesn't feel that it is any of their business.)
Let me know.
I have a friend who will be going in for an abortion later on this week. Although I have miscarried in the past, I have never had a clinical abortion, and want to make her as comfortable as possible. She's not the sort of girl who asks to have her hand held very often, so I know this bothers her, and I want to support her as best I can.
So I address those of you who have had a clinical abortion: What do you think would make this young woman comfortable in the hours and days after the proceedure? I have until Thursday afternoon to get this decided on, but she'll be staying with my husband and I for a few days while she recovers. (She is a young adult who is in college and lives with her parents, and doesn't feel that it is any of their business.)
Let me know.
First off,I know I said I would stay away but reading this I just can't.First let ME tell my story before saying I am 100% against abortion!!I had my son at 18 still in HIGHSCHOOL to my first love who had already graduated & was working.I NEVER thought once on abortion.I think thats selfish & cowerdley.I carried baby full term graduated high school & went to college with him right beside me.I got married & have been married for 12 yrs!My dh is making GOOD money.I choose to stay home.Had 1 more dd & am trying for 3rd.I live in a 400,000 house drive 3 cars & my ds is on the honor roll!!!SO dont come here telling ME that having a chid at an early age will keep you from having all the acomplishments in life,bc it doesn't.Everytime I look at my ds I cry bc he is the BIGGEST acomplishment, IN my life.MONEY,EDDUCATION & MEN come & go but your kids & their love is FOREVER.I'm not saying what to do or how to do it.But abortion is the selfish,easywayout & lazyest way to live life.I struggled & been threw hard times.And it is never easy.But I will never have the guilt.Or the what if's.And thats all I have to say about that....
Hey,girls.How have ya'll been?I thought the drama would come with me but I guess not.It's sooooooo Good to be back...nanis
Hey,girls.How have ya'll been?I thought the drama would come with me but I guess not.It's sooooooo Good to be back...nanis
i couldnt even finish all the posts before responding. my best friend is 31. when she was in high school and 16 she got pg. her parents ordered her to have an abortion. she refused. she had the baby. everyone said it would ruin her life. well let me tell you. she finished school. with good grades. she worked part time while doing this. she then married the father. then 3 years later she had baby #2. well now she lives in a $400,000+ home. a new expedition, she is employed well and they are a happy family. they have love and they have it better than many that graduated college with some phd and then some. how do you know it will ruin her life? to me a ruined life is when you end up in prison with a life sentance. not having a baby. did you talk her into this???? now, i understand that sometimes situations are not best for having a baby and abortion may be the best. but to say it will ruin her life is not true, i think you put ideas in her head.
now! to have 3 abortions and then talk about it like you popped a damn zit is rather disgusting. i have had that pg scare in the past. i wasnt after all and who knows what i would have done. its like getting a dui. you would think after the first time you would learn. not continue to do it again when there is a simple way of NOT getting another. i guess now i will have to go back and read all that i skipped. i had to speak before this was closed. im trying to keep my emotions under control here and not fly off the handle. why does everyone have to call names? the left winged call the right this and vica versa. some say its ok to be one way and curse the others, but cant stand up to the same being done to them. its her choice and her life yes, as long as she makes the decision on her own and not influenced by someone who thinks her life is ruined or that the next abortion will be a piece of cake. sigh.
now! to have 3 abortions and then talk about it like you popped a damn zit is rather disgusting. i have had that pg scare in the past. i wasnt after all and who knows what i would have done. its like getting a dui. you would think after the first time you would learn. not continue to do it again when there is a simple way of NOT getting another. i guess now i will have to go back and read all that i skipped. i had to speak before this was closed. im trying to keep my emotions under control here and not fly off the handle. why does everyone have to call names? the left winged call the right this and vica versa. some say its ok to be one way and curse the others, but cant stand up to the same being done to them. its her choice and her life yes, as long as she makes the decision on her own and not influenced by someone who thinks her life is ruined or that the next abortion will be a piece of cake. sigh.
Oh, sorry, I thought you were asking about emotional support. I've had 2 D&C's for abnormal pregnancies, and it is the same procedure as an elective abortion. I was moving around the next day and back at the gym after 3 days. Get her some aleve, a fluffy pillow, and some funny movies, and she'll be fine. They should provide her with post-op instructions that tell you what problems to look out for. And if you were wondering about emotional support, then refer back to my last answer.
I don't post on here very often, but always get a little agravated when I read about people trying to push their beliefs on others. Although, there are many women on here TTC, this is NOT the TTC forum. It's is a women's forum for all women's issues. I can sympathasize with this young women as I am a college student myself. I agree with the original poster that it would ruin her life. Right now the most important thing for her to do is get her education. If I found myself in the same situation, I know I would make the same choice. Not because I am selfish and only care about myself, but because I know I wouldn't be able to provide for my child.
Soror: I have not been through an abortion myself but I have known people who have. When she comes home she will probably just sleep for the rest of the day. I would ask the clinic if there is anything she can take for pain afterwards. I would assume ibuprofen. I had the Mirena IUD for about 3 months, when last week my body decided to reject it. It was the most painful experience of my life. I went to the doctor immediately to get it removed and was sore for several days afterwards. Could not lift anything, sit up for long periods of time and it even hurt to go to the bathroom. Let her know that if she gets an IUD, before she has unprotected sex with anyone to make sure they are free of STDS. My doctor told me that if I got an STD on it, I would get so much scar tissue I would be infertile. I commend you for taking care of her, and not being judgemental. Good Luck!
Soror: I have not been through an abortion myself but I have known people who have. When she comes home she will probably just sleep for the rest of the day. I would ask the clinic if there is anything she can take for pain afterwards. I would assume ibuprofen. I had the Mirena IUD for about 3 months, when last week my body decided to reject it. It was the most painful experience of my life. I went to the doctor immediately to get it removed and was sore for several days afterwards. Could not lift anything, sit up for long periods of time and it even hurt to go to the bathroom. Let her know that if she gets an IUD, before she has unprotected sex with anyone to make sure they are free of STDS. My doctor told me that if I got an STD on it, I would get so much scar tissue I would be infertile. I commend you for taking care of her, and not being judgemental. Good Luck!
I had an abortion 15 years ago when I was 20. It was the right choice for me at that time. If I were to be in the same situation as I was then, I would do it again. It absolutely has not destroyed my life. I am comfortable with the choice that I made. I have gone on to have children and am still ok with that choice.
To the original poster. The days following the procedure were not that difficult. I was pretty numb emotionally. It took a week to really have the whole situation sink in.
From what I understand, the pill is more painful then actually getting the medical abortion. It is her choice.
I am glad that she has a friend she can go to with this. As you can see by some of the posters, there a quite a few pro-life fanatics when it comes to this issue. What they don't realize is that their behavior is a complete and utter turn off and will not change a woman's mind.
To the original poster. The days following the procedure were not that difficult. I was pretty numb emotionally. It took a week to really have the whole situation sink in.
From what I understand, the pill is more painful then actually getting the medical abortion. It is her choice.
I am glad that she has a friend she can go to with this. As you can see by some of the posters, there a quite a few pro-life fanatics when it comes to this issue. What they don't realize is that their behavior is a complete and utter turn off and will not change a woman's mind.
*reminder*
No one is pushing beliefs from my end. She asked for opinions, she got them.
No one is pushing beliefs from my end. She asked for opinions, she got them.
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