Who is the father of my unborn baby

[thisisme1978]

I want to ask anyone out there to give me some advice please. I realize there will be people out there that will judge me, please I am not interested in your judgement. Only people that can help me. My last menstrual period was 22 February 2010. I had sex with my partner on 26, 27 & 28 February (my period ended on 26 FEB). We broke up on the 2nd March and I was stupid enough to have sex with my ex boyfriend on the 11th March 2010. IMPORTANT THOUGH I took the morning after pill 2 hours after we had sex.
ME and my partner worked things out and we got back together the 19th of March and we had sex on the 19, 20 and 21 March. I found out I was pregnan on the 29th of March. The doctor worked it out on my lmp which showed 4/5 weeks pregnant. Does anyone know what the chances is of my ex boyfriend being the father of my child?

[enolia]

Congratulations for your decision and all the best. Yes a pregnancy is an amazing thing!

[thisisme1978]

That is all true. I have broken up with my current boyfriend and are now doing this all on my own. I think it actually doesnt matter who the father is as both of them showed their true colours. ABORTION Is not an option as I have to take responsibilites for my own actions and abortion will be the easy way out.
I love this child already regardless who the father is. Not either of the fathers will be overly keen to be in the child's life and therefore I think it is better for myself not to know and just raise baby as a single mum....

Thank you all agian for all your contribution. And you all are right it is not a great situation at all. But the positive side is I am pregnant and think that is pretty amazing..

[enolia]

Very interesting point and very delicate situation...If you are hoping to stay with your current boyfriend (and the father is your ex), then you will have to decide what is important for you...the current relationship or the baby? Oh my god, that is terrible to say!
Sorry, it is really a difficult situation. The other problem is whenever there is a paternity test, both fathers may start feeling trapped and start criticizing you (even though it depends on the mentalities), that may impact your relationships.

Good luck and all the best.

[medicmommy]

Hello. This is just my thoughts, not a judgement...Either way you are pregnant. Either man can be the father and you won't know for sure until after the baby is born and a paternity test is done. The morning after pill will not discontinue an implanted pregnancy, and there is always a chance it didn't work for you. So, here's what's next. You'll have to ask yourself how you are going to handle this pregnancy and how, if you choose to have the baby, it will impact your life, the baby's life, and the fathers. if you don't have an abortion, the only two choices are giving it up for adoption or raising it as a potential single mother. Please don't be angry for me saying this but, if you are having a baby with the thought that it will your relationship with the father better, it is a bad idea. It often results in a negative relationship with the father feeling trapped -not a good way to start out for any of you. I will keep you in my prayers. I once had to make a choice of what to do about an unplanned pregnancy, and to this day, I regret the choice I made...~MM

[enolia]

Is your cycle that "irregular"? Are you certain your cycle is sometimes 28 and sometimes 21? Usually, it is either 28 or 26 or 30 but not fluctualting that much from a month to another...Thatmakes it hard to figure out...

[k10road]

Well, with an irregular period, it's reallyyyyy hard to say.  If your periods are never more than 28 days, then I think you can rule out getting pregnant March 19, 20, 21.  But to decide between the other dates is really hard.  Unfortunately, the morning after pill is not 100% effective.  I guess you could say that it makes his chances slimmer, but it doesn't at all make a decision as to whose baby it is.  To be fair to all parties involved, you need to have a paternity test done when the baby is born.  Good luck...sorry I couldn't give a better answer!

[thisisme1978]

Thank you so much for this. My cycle was in January 21 days and then again 28 days. So I cant really say that my cycle was regular lately. Does the fact that I took the morning after pill though on the 11th not make my ex boyfriend's chances slimmer? Or is it just me wishing???

[k10road]

How long are your cycles normally?  The previous poster answered it pretty well.  If you have a 28 day cycle, then you should have ovulated around March 8.  You could have been fertile from around March 3-10, and your ex-boyfriend is likely the father.  If your cycles are a little longer, like maybe 30 or 31 days, then the March 11 date is almost surely the time of conception (ex-boyfriend).  If your cycles are shorter, like 21-23 days, then it is likely that the encounters in the end of February were the ones were conception occurred, and your current boyfriend is probably the father.  If your cycles are longer, like around 40 days, then you would have ovulated around the 20th of March, in which case your current boyfriend would be the father.  

Ultrasound is good and detailed, but it can be off by up to 2 weeks either way, so I would not rely on a doctor's answer as to exactly when you conceived because even they will tell you that they can't tell you that information based on an ultrasound.  The only surefire way to know is to get a paternity test.  The second best way is to go based on the length of your normal cycles to calculate.  

Good luck...I'm sure this is stressful.  I hope you get the answers you need.  

[enolia]

Hi

Do you have a regular 28 days cycle? if yes then your ovulation date must have been March 8th (you would ovulate at exactly day 14), now any sex you had at day 9 to 15 of your cycle would have caused pregnancy... You mentioned you had sex on the 26 feb (day 4) 27 feb (day 5), feb 28 (day 6), March 11(day 17). Hum...One thing is sure The March 11 time is the closest date. The egg doesn't live more than 24 hours though after ovulation.
If your cycle is longer then 28 thenyou would have ovulated later on March 10 or 11? I would think March 11 is the date in this case. Sorry...
Now if your cycle is shorter and you would ovulate on day 11 or 12 (March 5 or 6), then Feb 28 is a possible date. Can you ask your dr what was your conception date exactly and then do the calculations? Please let us know. All the best and good luck, this muct be hard to live.