Fear PMS. Mood swings are SEVERE!

[Ungr8fulTirade]

I am 38, Ive had a period for a long time now. I have always got bitchy and tempermental the week before. I have also struggled with being able to control anger when i feel disrespected or pushed. (mood disorders).
Now, the last year I have noticed , the week before my period. I feel INSANE! really! I get so angry, volatile. I get this feeling in my throat, of rage, i dont even want to be inside my own body or brain, I feel like i cannot control it. I feel psycho! I need a psych ward, bad! Theres a guaranteed good fight with the boyfriend. I get beyond nasty and say things, nobody should say to anybody EVER! I cant stand myself during this. I am a demon.
anyone else????
any thoughts??
what works for you?
I cant keep this going on. Its effecting everything. I get my period and Im on 2 week suck up. and then monsters back. I need help. My major depression and anxiety are enough to deal with.
I do not like that side of me! It scares me. its thats bad!
any help , please!

[specialmom]

Ah, sweetie.  I'm really sorry to hear this.  You're not alone though.  This hormonal issue pushes many women over the edge.  In my city, a mid size city in the Midwest, there are specialists in psychiatry for women and these issues specifically.  It's a fairly new sub specialty in psychiatry but they are out there.  Try to search near you.  They specialize in working with women who have this premenstrual dysphoric disorder (which is what you describe).  Sometimes they do a short duration of medication the week prior to the period, sometimes they do a regular medication knowing it will cover that more difficult time.  So, doctors try to get the right fit for the patient.  I would definitely talk to your doctor and the best doctor to talk to about this just may be your ob/gyn.  When I had my kids, my ob/gyn gave me quite a talking to about post partum and what to look for.  She was very real about how easily it can happen and that women have to speak up.  So, if you see a solid woman gynecologist, she may be able to help direct you too.  

I'm here to help any way I can even if just lending an ear.  By the way, I get a bit over the top agitated when I have pms and I also hate it.  I catch myself and think "OMG, I'm acting so bad right now".  Ugh.  So, I try to de escalate feelings/reactions BEFORE it gets to that point.  I try to recognize when I'm revving up for a meltdown . . . and do things to calm myself before that happens.  I can help you with ideas on this if you would like.

[Ungr8fulTirade]

Thank you so much for your comment. I felt a little lump in my throat.
I am definitely going to be taking your suggestions very seriously. Just that is has a name!!!!
I have more to say on this but its almost 5 am and just got off night shift and literally have one eye open. I wanted to let you know I seen your reply and that I appreciate the time you took. When I awake, I will write more , pertaining to my ugly issue. Now when its not happening, its so shameful