driven crazy ... still 2 weeks for 28 day duo

[ksxy]

Yeah, I am out of my mind ...

2 weeks ago I called in an escort in NYC. As stated in the 2 threads links at the end, all I remember clearly is I asked her to masturbate (without touching my body) and I sit 1 meters away to masturbate myself without touching her. Yes, clearly the above sounds zero-risk actions even with the presence of body fluids.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1241000?personal_page_id=950084
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1243813?personal_page_id=950084

However I am now greatly in fear if I could have penetrating unprotected but I don't know / cannot remember! Dr. HHH replied and he probably thought I am rediculous - while in my rational mind I sort of think so; coz for my personality if I really did I would have been scared out and my first question regarding this won't be only about the fluids but about penetration.

Now everyday I am trying to recall what happened ... actually despite insufficient sleep at that time, I could recall all our conversations, her actions, gestures, but there are moments my memory a bit blur and I am so afraid what if something really bad happened at those moments. I even based on we didn't touch each other to measure the size of furnitures, which sot of suggests we couldn't have been "made" with the positions I imagined ...

Right, I will take a duo at 4 weeks for whatever reason :-( I am really sorry for such emotional post or maybe abuse of the forum ...

[ksxy]

I am sorry mate ... I just cannot get out of this! Since that night I found my mind torturing me again and again. I could see myself firstly worry about fluids+cuts/penis; then "what if outercourse" (coz I masturbate myself looking at her vagina area) - then I found Dr. HHH said outercourse is also not a concern for HIV; but now I am worried about intercourse! God. Judging by my remembering how she took off, sat, start masturbating, what's our dialog, so and so on I should be quite clear at that time; but my mind says to go for a duo test at 28 days as well as 6/8 and 12 weeks. I don't know how to spend days from now ... and to make it worse I will be with my girlfriend for the rest of 2 weeks (we live together). I don't want to hurt all my beloved... God please :-(

[joggen]

YES

[ksxy]

Hi joggen,

So you also think it's impossible that I remember so much fact but only not the part of penetration?

[joggen]

I am sorry, this forum cannot help people with OCD. I suggest that you try the OCD forum, and also follow Dr. Handsfield's advice on getting treatment for it.