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Another STD Oral Sex Anxiety question
Was hoping for some help (would love a comment from auntjessi). I know this question has been answered a ton before, but some other parts of my situation have me still wanting some advice.
I am male and received unprotected oral from a female a few days ago for about 5-6s (really, I didn't want it). I'm now worried as I have a SO and don't want them to know or get infected. The twist is that the female is South African, but now lives in Canada. I don't know how long, but think at least several years, maybe 4-10 years but I'm not sure. She is also in a LT relationship and I got the impression this was the first, or at least one of the few times she has cheated. She also has a professional job.
So my anxiety is higher as I've seen articles about a syphillis epidemic in recent years (lots of articles about it skyrocketing and titles like 'Why is Everyone Getting Syphillis') and how SA is the nation with the highest rates.
I plan to get tested no matter what for peace of mind, and believe it makes sense to get tested in 7 days after exposure for gonerrhea, then six weeks after for syphillis.
Is my timing right for the testing, and any thoughts on the currents rates of syphillis and rates in SA on how likely it could be compared to ~2010 when Dr. Hook said it was rare to get for a male receiving oral? Also I know the exposure was very brief and that helps, but no sources other than here speak about how exposure time impacts probability, so still hard to get past the anxiety.
I am male and received unprotected oral from a female a few days ago for about 5-6s (really, I didn't want it). I'm now worried as I have a SO and don't want them to know or get infected. The twist is that the female is South African, but now lives in Canada. I don't know how long, but think at least several years, maybe 4-10 years but I'm not sure. She is also in a LT relationship and I got the impression this was the first, or at least one of the few times she has cheated. She also has a professional job.
So my anxiety is higher as I've seen articles about a syphillis epidemic in recent years (lots of articles about it skyrocketing and titles like 'Why is Everyone Getting Syphillis') and how SA is the nation with the highest rates.
I plan to get tested no matter what for peace of mind, and believe it makes sense to get tested in 7 days after exposure for gonerrhea, then six weeks after for syphillis.
Is my timing right for the testing, and any thoughts on the currents rates of syphillis and rates in SA on how likely it could be compared to ~2010 when Dr. Hook said it was rare to get for a male receiving oral? Also I know the exposure was very brief and that helps, but no sources other than here speak about how exposure time impacts probability, so still hard to get past the anxiety.
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COMMUNITY LEADER
4 Comments
Thank you so much. It seems like all the mainstream information (CDC, WHO, WebMD, etc) is very conservative and makes it sound more likely that people are passing these STIs around. Is that due to lack of data at that level (length of exposure for one), and they are just totally conservative with all recommendations? I really appreciate your help.
All of those orgs have to be very conservative and sweeping in their info. They have to assume that the person reading it is having all the sex with all the infected people, and no one is using protection. We know that most people don't have STIs, and even if they do, not every exposure results in transmission.
Here, we can answer questions based on the info you give us, and can tailor it to address your specific situation.
That said, the fact that you have been reading the CDC, WHO, WebMD, Dr. Hook, etc., suggests that you are very anxious about this, and maybe need to step away from the computer/put the phone down, and start working on your guilt and/or anxiety. If you've read enough here to know that you wanted me to answer, you've read too much lol. It also means you probably already knew what I'd say. ;)
Here, we can answer questions based on the info you give us, and can tailor it to address your specific situation.
That said, the fact that you have been reading the CDC, WHO, WebMD, Dr. Hook, etc., suggests that you are very anxious about this, and maybe need to step away from the computer/put the phone down, and start working on your guilt and/or anxiety. If you've read enough here to know that you wanted me to answer, you've read too much lol. It also means you probably already knew what I'd say. ;)
You are right. But you have helped my anxiety a lot and I'll be able to step away more easily now.
Glad to help. Take care. :)
Or can I get tested for syphillis after three weeks? I saw from Dr. Hook that would be ok, but other things I've read say six weeks or even 90 days.
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
So one's nationality doesn't make them inherently more risky. You as a Canadian (I'm assuming you're Canadian by birth here) would have the same risks as a South African if you moved to SA and lived there for any amount of time.
Your friend now has the same risks as a Canadian as she's lived there for a decent amount of time. By now, she'd have seen symptoms of syphilis if she had it before she moved, and I don't know the immigration process to move from SA to Canada, but for most places, you do have to show that you don't have untreated syphilis.
The current articles about syphilis cases rising are true - they are, but keep in mind that in 2022 (the last year I could find data for), there were 13,953 cases in Canada. That's a 109% increase from 2018, but that's still an incredibly low number considering there were 39+ million people in Canada in 2022. That means about .03% of people in Canada had syphilis that year.
(https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/news/2024/02/statement-from-the-chief-public-health-officer-of-canada-on-syphilis.html)
And yes, brief exposures like that - just a few seconds, are unlikely to result in transmission. Men who have sex with men are more likely to get syphilis.
Oral sex in general is less risky than vaginal or anal, and most experts, like Dr. Hook, don't think that one act of oral sex, even to completion, warrants testing. That's for anything, including gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis.
If you feel you must test because you have a partner, then test at 7 days for gonorrhea and chlamydia, and 6 weeks for syphilis. Dr. Hook might say 3 weeks, but I'm not a doctor, so I'll say 6. Use your own judgement on that.
In the meantime, remember that guilt does not equal risk.