Trying to recover emotionally

[mel250711]

Hi, I am 25 years old, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year 1/2, My last period was in may 08 when on June 27th,08 I found out I was pregnant, I was so happy and so was my boyfriend, inside though I didn't feel like it was real but understood that was natural in the first weeks. So I went to my first prenatal visit, which was just some questions of me and my family's health history, I got my prenatal pills and starting taking them right away because according to the doctor I was 6 weeks. My first official ultrasound wasn't going to be until July 17 08, which would make me almost 8 weeks. I was real nervous and excited and scared all at once, but something wasn't right. I didn't get sick, I had no appetite. One day I was at work and felt so weak and started to get the chills, I also had diarrhea. I went to the doctors right away and I had a fever of 101.5 and the doctor did a urine test, he told me I had a urinary tract infection. Which happen to be normal, so I took my prescribed medication (safe for pregnancy) and four days into treating it I woke up in the morning and went to the restroom and notice light blood after wiping. I immediately became worried I just didn't feel right. After a few more time of peeing I saw again and again, so I went to the emergency room on July 11th. While waiting I started to bleed more and heavier. Then I started to get the most extreme abdominal pain. I couldn't take it, the pressure I felt was almost unbearable. They saw me fast and took my blood then I spoke with a doctor who said I may have an ectopic pregnancy, my heart dropped. They give me some strong tylenol, yes it worked, the pain had subsided. They ordered me through a ultrasound, the tech said it was to early to tell so they did a vaginal ultrasound, it took like 20min. They sent me back to ER and told me what my fears had been, I had an ectopic pregnancy. I cried immediately full of being scared, sad, overwhelmed, lost, misunderstanding.  I went right away into surgery, the surgeon spoke to me and said the baby looked to be in my right tube but may be in the left and also said if it was found to be in the uterus they were still going to remove it? I had the question right there but was still in shock and didn't ask. So they put me to sleep and they made an incision right above my pubic line, I would say about three inches or so. I woke up in the recovery room and was released that same night, I went to the hospital around 4pm and was released 2am that morning. The surgeon did not speak to me after surgery, I did ask the nurse if they ended up removing my tube and which one, she said yes and told me the right tube. So I went home, in pain but it felt familiar because 2 months before this surgery I had my appendix removed once again through emergency because I had light abdominal pain Lucky it hadn't burst yet. So when I got home and finally started to hit reality I had questions, concerns. And no one to talk to, I don't have a relationship with my mother, my father raised me, But knew she had an ectopic pregnancy before me, my sister and my youngest brother were born. I went online and sought out answers that way but still nothing. My question is has anyone been released from the hospital that soon and I have to set an appointment with the surgeon for a checkup but there's no telling how soon I will be able to talk to her. And I do not have insurance and partly feel neglected because of it I guess. I know it seems like I am writing a book, but no one I know has gone through this or have felt a loss of a baby. I am up and down mostly I feel fine but and I'm getting better with coping with all of it. I have to say God bless anyone who has dealt with a loss of a baby. I am sorry. And please be strong and have faith. I had to thank God for my strength through something I wanted so bad but know he took it in his hands. I don't think without this happening I could fulling understand a women's pain afterwards. Thank You for having patience with reading this. God Bless.


This discussion is related to am i ok?.

[jesslee83]

glad i was able to make you smile!

hugs go out to you from here!

[Jackie117]

I meant to say god wipes away all your sorrows.

[Jackie117]

Sorry this happens to you. I had a missed miscarrage in October and was depressed for a while but it does get better. I ended up pregnant again in November. And now have a healthy baby girl. I know its not the same because I didn't lose a tube but it goes to show that when you lose something so precious god always carrys your weight and deli we all your sorrows. I hope everything gets better for you. I will pray for you.

[LauraB78]

SAHM = Stay at home Mom

And I am sooo very sorry this happened to you as well..

((hugs))

[mel250711]

It's getting better. And I know it seems like I wrote some irrelevant stuff and a long one too, but it was part of the what happened, and I was looking on here if anyone had gone through this before. This site has helped a lot; What is a SAHM mom I never saw that abbreviation before.

[mel250711]

Thank you. And that was a cute quote. And congrats on your lil. baby boy.

[JoyRenee]

Mel, so very sorry this happened to you!

[jesslee83]

i'm so sorry for your loss...many women succeed in carrying full term wonderfully healthy babies, while only convieving with 1 tube.....i can slightly imagine what you went through, i've had a d&c, but no ectopics/tubals.....as one poster said, if you can think and fel positive about the next time, you'll have a more positive experience, and other people around you will feel your vibes too...happiness is contagious!
i found this quote(actually it was a stupid text message, but i found the quote)...it has a little humor to it, but i really think it's good, especially in a time like this, and can bring a small smile...
Every evening I turn my worries over to God.  He's going to be up all night anyway.  ~Mary C. Crowley

[mel250711]

Thanks leighanne and congrats on your lil one, I really hope all goes well and will pray it does, I will keep my head up I know that is part of looking towards the furture with a positive attitude. So i hope all goes well and those were really good ultra sounds. :) Me and my boyfriend discussed when I would be ready to try again, and I feel as soon as the doc gives me the ok and my scar and the inside heals more I'll try, I understand that with onky my left tube that it may be a lil. longer so we'll see.

[leighanne143]

mel- i am now 10 weeks along again, so things can happen very quickly.  one of my friends had one of her tubes removed and was pregnant again 2 months later.  it is tough to go through and i wish none of us had to,  thinking positive is the bets thing to do.  if you give positive vibes you will get them back.  i was so negative after my 2nd MC but realized that i could not be that way and changed my way of thinking and it helped so much.  keep your head up.

[mel250711]

thank you for your comment and i'm sorry for your loss too, I know surgery was tough, and I know you'll have a healthy lil bean too. Sometimes I realize i'll have this scar forever and it will always be a memory but i am going to keep my head up and stay positive it's really the only way to fully recover. So thank you again

[mel250711]

Thank you sooooo much that was sweet and it brought tears to me to. I think some of the hardest pain came from knowing that there was nothing wrong with my baby he or she was just in the wrong place, and right before going into surgery, they told me it still had a little heartbeat : (. But I know God is taking care of it.

[leighanne143]

i am so sorry for your loss. i know how you feel, i had 2 MC's in the past 9 months, they were exactly 5 months apart and i needed surgery, D and C's to remove the fetus that did not live.  i know many owmne who had a tube removed and got pregnant no problem within a few months afterwards.  try to keep your head up and think positive.  unfortunately, we have no control over miscarriages and that it horrible to not have control.  you will be pregnant again with a healthy lil bean very soon.

[jennymay]

Someone posted this a couple days ago, and I thought it was just wonderful. It brings a tear to my eye everytime I read it, but it helps with overcoming the hurt!

"An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth.
Then whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth". (author unknown)