grandson does not like me anymore

Question

I have been very close with my 4 year old grandson since his birth. I watch him and his 1 year old brother everyday while my daughter works. For about 3 months now, he has been saying things like he doesn't love me and he really
is missing mommy. I understand that and I have been empathetic with him. But it is beginning to make me feel really bad Any help will be appreciated.

Thank you

This discussion is related to My 3 year old grandson says he does not like me anymore..

mamumilly · Answer

Thank you for your support.  Hopefully it will pass soon.  My daughter is a teacher and she will be on Christmas break this coming week.  I am hoping that maybe the break will help.   I love this little boy so much and just want him to know that I love him and am here for him and I want him to be happy.  And in the process, I too will be happy.  Thanks again and I will let you know how it all turns out.

margypops · Answer

I do feel you have got a handle on it , and maybe the not feeding into the behavior is the best idea, it is hurtful but it will pass , I would say you all have it right and he is tring to get you all to react dont take it to heart and ask Mom and Dad not to react as they probeably say to him Poor Granma etc etc and that is the attention he is seeking if all say nothing it will surprise him and he'll give up.He is one lucky boy to have you ,you sound like the kind of Granma any child would love . Come and chat anytime ,tell us how he is doing, there may be others with more ideas and input will come by also.,by the way you arent the only one we have heard this beofre from other Grans!!

mamumilly · Answer

THank you for your comment.  Yes I know there is some jealousy because of the younger brother.  I do give him very much attention and he is not always saying things like he doesn't like me anymore, but lately it has been more than ever.  THere is a grandpa and a dad in the picture and they take a very active part in his life.  It is just that he has been the "center of my universe" for so long and I guess my feelings are hurt.  I know that I am the adult and I need to deal with it.   He is very smart and I think he has picked up on the fact that I am very upset over this and I feel that he is sometimes doing it to get a reaction from me and his parents.   We have all decided to just ignore it when he says things to me that are mean.  Do you think that is a good idea?  We have tried talking with him to see why he feels this way but although he is smart, he is still a 4 year old and it is hard to reason with him.  I just really needed to get this off my chest because it is making me depressed because I am with him everyday and it is wearing me down.  Does that make sense?  I really don't want to come across as a poor old grandma who no one likes.  I just wondered if anyone else had a similar problem and if so how it was handled.  Thank you

margypops · Answer

I understand how you feel, it is possible that he misses his Mom and in coming to you each day he has the idea that if he wasnt coming to you, his Mom would be there more, also does the younger child get more attention, as he is younger I appreciate that he needs most attention however that is hard on the older child and could be some jealous issues there,. Try to focus on your 4 year old more with positive things that you and he do, perhaps while the 1year old is sleeping ,some one to one attention for him, ask his Mom to give him more positive attention . Win him back with love and Praise, Games and fun. If there is a granpa and a dad around get them involved with some outside activities and sports.