I know we haven't really "talked" but I have read your posts. The one about your ex-hubby beating you severely made me almost fall out of my chair. I was to tell you in a nice way (but true) that once a man starts hitting, it never gets better but it does get a whole lot worse. Does he say he's sorry after he's done?? Most of them do, and they are terrific for a short time. Just never let your guard down because it will happen again. How can you kick your addiction when you don't know when you're going to get the hell beat out of you the next time?? I'm not trying to be mean and I hope I don't come across that way. I am just worried beyond words about you.
How do I know what will happen?? I was sleeping and I got kicked so hard in the ribs that I flew out of bed and landed on the floor. A boot on the foot of a 250lb man can do a lot of damage to a 100lb woman. Ribs hurt for a very long time. It took me about three beatings and I called the cops and they came and got him. It would have happened again.
I think you will find you have a much happier life when you remove the violence. Things will be so much better for you.

I don't want to leave out the guys. There are many men that are physically hurt badly by their wives or g/f's. They just don't report it.

I wish you luck....Take Care.....LS