I find such peace in the woods that I could stay there for days. The sounds bring peacefulness. I still have my cardinals outside. I see them a lot every day. They're so pretty! How have you been?? I think about you a lot. I only have one patch left and it will come off next month and I never want to see or hear about fentanyl again. lol  I hope no one else falls victim to it. I must admit it has a place with chronic pain. Just not post op pain. After surgery everyone hurts. My surgeon had me on a morphine pump for two days and then oral pain meds. The that witch put the patch on me. My surgeon and family dr. had a fit.
You take care and I'm sure you're getting out a lot. The peace is there if we just walk into it.
Hugs......Connie

You have to get off the path! Have you gone out in the woods yet? I think that you and I are the same that way. Woods cures what ails us. You have nothing to fear, even when you are down to no patches, we will still be here for you. I'm going to send you my most recent photo I took. Blue moon. (I really is a blue moon, 3 moons this May, 3rd is what they call a blue moon.) You look at it when you get scared, and remember there is lots of beauty out there for us.

I'll still email you but I think I'll make a general post too.  I don't want all my friends to think something bad is going on.
Love,
Yoda

Oh my gosh, you're psychic now.  Actually there is.  I just told Bob about it the night before.  I'll send you an email today.  I don't know why I"m up at 5:30 a;m; on a Sunday but I can't sleep.
love,
Yoda

Yep.  Being broke sucks, doesn't it.  You are tapering on the sub though right?  Soon think of all the extra $ you will have when you don't have to pay for that anymore.
Hang in there.

You are the bravest one of us of all.  You did this and you are changing your LIFE.  You will never go back and you will never be the same!  I am so proud of you.  You can do this.  You make me proud and I strive to be where you are some day.  You are doing it!!!!!   What we all want!!!  Keeep going and keep fighting.  You are a leader and my hero.  Keep going.   Be afraid...that's OK!!!!  Be so GD afraid you will never be on the path you took previously.   But know we are all praying and sending good vibes and energy your way.  We are so proud of our Lady!!!

Peace~Creek

Beginning to.
Progress made.
thank you.
How are you doing? Are you going to meetings? How often?
Are you reading the basic text? I have to catch up on my reading.
How are you feeling these days?
Forgive me if I am mistaken. You said you were taking about 4 pills a day right now. If so, what are your plans? I really don't know much of your story. Just know that you were/are in the fellowship for over 20 yrs. And you were a GSR or some other position for a while.
I wish you peace and love.
Again, Please forgive me if i am incorrect about the pills.
Thank you for caring. It definitely feels good when someone cares about me and remembers my posts.

sleep well everyone. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
peace and love

Hey, i still up. 10 days clean. Congratulations. Picnics are the best. Volleyball, bar-b-ques, getting to really know one another. 8 year position, WOW. That is how we stay clean. I have not had any position in a while. I got to Tampa like 1/2 year ago. 1 month into the school i withdrew from the program. Didn't know if I was going to stay or not. Wound up coming home 4 months later. Now I am here and still don't know if I will stay here or go back to Tampa. Commitments here are 6 months minimum. Ahh, i guess i am just making excuses.
I went to a NA symposium in Tampa about 2 months back. I did a-lot of workshops and round table discussions. Did a-lot of work. I sat next to Becky Meyer at one round table (assistant executive director). Then I got to know Craig Robertson. he is a World board member of Your World. He is the top dog  there. I forgot the exact title. I look at all that as service work for the good of NA as a whole. But, I have to get involved again somehow.
I just don't want to take up a position and then have to look for someone to fill it.
Maybe you can help me. Do you know how it works? If we take up a position and then have to move.
I hope you make that picnic tomorrow.  Does your NA support network/friends know about your relapse? DO you stay in touch with them?  Why are you not going to meetings?
And yep the 12 steps do change our thinking. You are absolutely right. They also help us clean up the wreckage of our past. Helps us make amends where wrong been done.

Glad to hear you are making progress.   Yes I was in meetings for almost 20 yrs.  I did H&I for 3 yrs GSR for a few years, sponsored many women, got my old connection into detox and he is 20 yrs clean now, I was Area Service Com. secretary for 8 yrs because noone else would take the committment.  Then I hurt my back caring for my mom as I had to lift her into her wheelchair, etc.   ANyway, I got hooked on vicodin.   I may have been up to 10-12 pills a day at some point.    I was prescribed 2 pills every 4 hours.    If I took it like that only when in extreme pain I wouldn't have given up my clean time.   But I would take 4 at once, take it at the slightes twinge of back pain just to "keep on top of the pain" etc    So I came clean and gave up my clean time a week before I would have taken a 20 year cake.

I don't go to meetings right now.   I still attend functions sometime.  In fact I may go to the annual picnic tomorrow.  I believe in the steps as a process for changing our thinking.  I know they work if we work them.    Just not impressed with all the thieving and 13th stepping going on inside the meetings in my area.   Maybe I'll try AA.  Right now I am reading my basic text at times, talking to my higher power, and so far have 10 days off vicodin.  

Have a great night and take good care of yourself!  Its only 10pm here on the west coast so you might be sleeping.  If so have a great Sunday!

You are two people I don't have to hide any of my feelings from because you always respond with such kindness and understanding. It's always been a problem for me to open up and let people see the real me inside, but people like you have helped me get over that. Where were you 10 yrs ago?? LOL

Yoda....
Are you ok?? I can't see you but I've had this feeling for the last couple of days that something is wrong. I think you have my addy and if I can help don't hesitate to let me know.

BIG HUGS to both of you.....Connie

I am so poor right now. I work all week just so I can pay for my suboxone and Doc's visit.  (no insurance.)
I have a great profession. I am a registered radiation therapist.
Last job i was making $37/hr.
Now I make $300 a week.

                                             Addiction.

Please don't be afraid.  You have come this far.  At least the dr. is going to give you something to take for two weeks after you withdraw.
You are my inspiration so you just can't be afraid.  But seriously, know that we're all here for you.
Much love,
Linda

I know you are scared... You have a great doc though and I would trust her. This is a process.. for you a much longer and harder process than for many. But you are one tough cookie.. so hang on it'll be over soon. I will be here for you every step of the way..

Hugs