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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
fears and separation anxiety
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
fears and separation anxiety
by elj, Jul 01, 2002 12:00AM
My 5 1/2 year old periodically has mild trouble separating at school and now at camp. This is always worst on Mondays.
She also has other worries. For instance this weekend she was so afraid of going on the tram-ride at the zoo that we stepped out of the line and skipped the ride (which was NOT a scary ride). We were on the fence about whether to force her to go, but ultimately decided that there was nothing to be gained by forcing her.
Normally she is cheerful and talkative.
My problem is that this morning (after the zoo incident yesterday) she had an even worse separation than usual. I wonder whether her "victory" at the zoo led her to believe that enough crying will get her out of any uncomfortable situation.
Is it better to force a child to do something they are afraid of if you know the outcome will be OK? I don't want to raise a panicky kid, but also don't want to torture her unnecessarily.
thanks in advance.
She also has other worries. For instance this weekend she was so afraid of going on the tram-ride at the zoo that we stepped out of the line and skipped the ride (which was NOT a scary ride). We were on the fence about whether to force her to go, but ultimately decided that there was nothing to be gained by forcing her.
Normally she is cheerful and talkative.
My problem is that this morning (after the zoo incident yesterday) she had an even worse separation than usual. I wonder whether her "victory" at the zoo led her to believe that enough crying will get her out of any uncomfortable situation.
Is it better to force a child to do something they are afraid of if you know the outcome will be OK? I don't want to raise a panicky kid, but also don't want to torture her unnecessarily.
thanks in advance.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jul 01, 2002 12:00AM
, Jul 01, 2002 12:00AM
No, there's really no point in forcing such things. Of course, if there are challenges that she really must face, such as going to school or camp, you have no choice but to insist on her soldiering on. At such times, your demeanor is the key ingredient. It's important to be decisive and to do this in a calm and reassuring way, maintaining your equanimity all the time.
Member Comments (1)
by cazza1, Apr 21, 2008 03:09PM
A related discussion, seperation and teachers was started.
