Oh my God, what now????

[debsally]

Sally and I took my son to his diabetes doc this morning and then we went out to lunch.  I noticed at lunch, she started to have those symptoms....hands shaking a little and slowing down and rubbing her face....all those symptoms she would have on the soma and I thought that I am just crazy or parinoid.  Then she started driving funny taking me to work and by the time we got to my work and I looked into her eyes, I could see it.  So I said something to her and she got out of the car.

When I looked right into her eyes, face to face, (still feeling a little crazy), I said she lookes like when she used to take the soma and her face just dropped.  I asked her if she took some and she said yes and that she was going to talk to me about it last night but I was too tired, so she figured she would talk to me about it today.  I asked her if she picked up an rx and she said yes.

So we are standing in the parking lot of my work and I am looking at her and feeling like all we just went through meant nothing.  She even told me the other night after reading more from this site and more that I wrote that she never wants to take soma again and that it is poison and she cannot take it.  I reminded her of it and told her to flush it, that I am not going to change my mind.  She said she wants me to hold it so she can take it prn.  Bullshyt!!!!!!!!!  I am totally in shock and have no idea where to go.  I told her if she gave them to me to hold, I will flush them down the toilet and the last thing I told her was she needs to flush them.

Oh you guys....help me.  I am so sad and hurt and disappointed.  I feel betrayed.  I need advise.

Please, I need you.  This is totally unfamiliar territory for me.

Love,

Debbie

[TimH2]

You are in this together and she has to contribute. When she is using I would just ignore her. I know this will be hard for you. Love will see you through this!  She is already being sneaky and isn't going to stop until she commits to recovery. You have to be strong darlin and tell her NO MORE!!!!  Tell her this isn't negotiable and see what happens. I know you will do this in a kind sensitive way. She knows you love her and right now she is probably feeling terrible. I want you to think of how you are feeling right now. The pills should go right down the toilet tonight!!!!

(((((((((((((((((Debs)))))))))))))))))))

Love out to ya,
Tim

[oxypen]

Tim,
I have been reading tehse posts for about a week now and i think its awesome that you know so many people and take the time to answer so many messages with such good advice.  I wish there were moe people like you in this world.  Where i live, it's just the scum of the earth (and me, of course) that get hooked on drugs.  I do not know another person other than dealers that are in the trouble that I am in.  I have never been so scared in all of my life.  I've dealt with addiction before but this oxy addiction has been a total nightmare.

[avisg]

I know you must feel so hurt right now . This is going to be a long road hun... She just needs to dust herself off and try again . Remind her how good thing were last week when she was back to her old soma free sally ,stick to your guns !!!!!  ((((((((((((((((deb))))))))))))))))))

[debsally]

thank you.  i am scared because we have such honest and good communication, i am afraid if i am too rigid it will drive her to be sneaky.  i know being sneaky is her choice, but i really feel like we are in this together.  is that wrong?

i feel like i put just as much effort in this (obviously in a different way) than she did.  tell me i'm not crazy?????

[TimH2]

It is exactly what I mean sweetheart. I think that is a very good start and stick to your guns. She does not want to lose you and will probably get help. It is going to be hard for you, but I know you two will make it through. You have to do this in your own way and what makes you feel comfortable. She has to want this bad.  I am praying for you both.

Tim

[debsally]

she just called and told me she picked it up because she wanted to get high. so at least she is being honest.  she also promised me that she wont use it every day and that she only wants it for once in a while.  i stuck to my guns, you guys.  i told her i dont want it in our house or in her posetion or in my posetion. i told her again to flush them and taking the soma once in a while would be like smoking pcp once in a while.  it wont work.  i told her to get on here and talk or call her therapist or our doc and really search her heart.  i told her she is right back in the pool of denial.  i told her it will basically take a miracle to change my mind.  

this is what you mean by tough love right, tim?????

debs