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6 things that will lead you to relapse...
Here's a list of 6 things I came up with that I know may people have relapsed over..
1. Keeping secrets…Trying to keep your addiction under wraps will only allow you to hold on to things that will rationalize your using. I think everyone I know with significant clean time has tried keeping their using a secret and tried to stop on their own. However, the disease of addiction is a powerful thing. You simply can’t do it without support. Keeping your problems a secret will only eventually lead to relapse.
2. Not using aftercare...Here’s the real secret of how to gain long term recovery-It has absolutely nothing to do with the drugs of alcohol. They are only a side effect of the disease. The true problem is the way we think and rationalize our actions. It’s all centered in our brains, not our drugs. Aftercare of some sort gives us a new way of living, choosing to deal with every day’s problems…not numbing them out.
3. Not changing your playgrounds, playmates, and playtoys…I’m sorry, but you will not stay clean if you continue doing things that remind you of your using. This includes hanging around bars, visiting places where you used, hanging around people you used with, or frequenting doctors who supplied you without telling them about your addiction. You must essentially change your behaviors to gain recovery.
4. Relying on willpower…Willpower is the absolute worst thing you can rely on. White knuckling it through recovery doesn’t work. Your disease will ultimately talk you into using again. This is where recovery and aftercare helps the most. Take it from someone who know…white knuckle sobriety isn’t fun.
5. Trying to control your using…This was my favorite. I had legit pain and wanted to just control my using. If you’re a typical addict, it just doesn’t work that way. I’ve had to find new ways of dealing with the pain. I’ll also say this, you will not succeed in this fight if you have a bottle of pills in the house “just in case” the pain gets too bad. Your disease will ultimately talk you into draining the bottle.
6. Changing your drug of choice….This happens more than you know. People get off oxycodone or hydrocodone only to get hooked on tramadol. They quit painkillers only to keep the occasional drink in their life. They give up the opiates but take ambient or benzos for sleep or anxiety. If you are an addict and you take any addictive substance for any length of time and you will either become addicted to it…or it will lead you back to your drug of choice.
These are just a few of the things I’ve learned. I’d love to hear from people about what caused them to relapse…or if you have any stories that relate to some things I’ve listed…
1. Keeping secrets…Trying to keep your addiction under wraps will only allow you to hold on to things that will rationalize your using. I think everyone I know with significant clean time has tried keeping their using a secret and tried to stop on their own. However, the disease of addiction is a powerful thing. You simply can’t do it without support. Keeping your problems a secret will only eventually lead to relapse.
2. Not using aftercare...Here’s the real secret of how to gain long term recovery-It has absolutely nothing to do with the drugs of alcohol. They are only a side effect of the disease. The true problem is the way we think and rationalize our actions. It’s all centered in our brains, not our drugs. Aftercare of some sort gives us a new way of living, choosing to deal with every day’s problems…not numbing them out.
3. Not changing your playgrounds, playmates, and playtoys…I’m sorry, but you will not stay clean if you continue doing things that remind you of your using. This includes hanging around bars, visiting places where you used, hanging around people you used with, or frequenting doctors who supplied you without telling them about your addiction. You must essentially change your behaviors to gain recovery.
4. Relying on willpower…Willpower is the absolute worst thing you can rely on. White knuckling it through recovery doesn’t work. Your disease will ultimately talk you into using again. This is where recovery and aftercare helps the most. Take it from someone who know…white knuckle sobriety isn’t fun.
5. Trying to control your using…This was my favorite. I had legit pain and wanted to just control my using. If you’re a typical addict, it just doesn’t work that way. I’ve had to find new ways of dealing with the pain. I’ll also say this, you will not succeed in this fight if you have a bottle of pills in the house “just in case” the pain gets too bad. Your disease will ultimately talk you into draining the bottle.
6. Changing your drug of choice….This happens more than you know. People get off oxycodone or hydrocodone only to get hooked on tramadol. They quit painkillers only to keep the occasional drink in their life. They give up the opiates but take ambient or benzos for sleep or anxiety. If you are an addict and you take any addictive substance for any length of time and you will either become addicted to it…or it will lead you back to your drug of choice.
These are just a few of the things I’ve learned. I’d love to hear from people about what caused them to relapse…or if you have any stories that relate to some things I’ve listed…
Hi GG,
ALL of those are excellent examples and I would be hard pressed to say one is more than the other for me. Each one of them kept me using or caused a relapse.
The only one I could think to add is "boredom". So many of us do not know what to do with ourselves after getting clean. Our drug behavior dictated our every move, in many of us, for years. We lived to use and used to live. I know that I spent so many years hanging in my playground, as you said, with my playmates and when I was newly clean I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I quickly got addicted to going to the movies and bowling. Funny as that sounds, I did not use. It took me a long time to get back into doing the things that I had enjoyed but had long forgotten about.
Thank you for the post. It is a wake up call and a huge reminder of where I was and where I can be if I don't work a program.
ALL of those are excellent examples and I would be hard pressed to say one is more than the other for me. Each one of them kept me using or caused a relapse.
The only one I could think to add is "boredom". So many of us do not know what to do with ourselves after getting clean. Our drug behavior dictated our every move, in many of us, for years. We lived to use and used to live. I know that I spent so many years hanging in my playground, as you said, with my playmates and when I was newly clean I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I quickly got addicted to going to the movies and bowling. Funny as that sounds, I did not use. It took me a long time to get back into doing the things that I had enjoyed but had long forgotten about.
Thank you for the post. It is a wake up call and a huge reminder of where I was and where I can be if I don't work a program.
Yes, boredom is a big one. They taught us in rehab about HALT..Hungry, Angry, Alone, and tired...4 things that are big triggers.
Yes!!! I was going to add: Know your triggers!! Boredom and being alone ( isolating )
for too long is a huge trigger. Some of you know about my vacuuming therapy!! If I'm irritated,I head for the Hoover. It's one of the small things that work for me fast!!
This is a great list,Guy!
for too long is a huge trigger. Some of you know about my vacuuming therapy!! If I'm irritated,I head for the Hoover. It's one of the small things that work for me fast!!
This is a great list,Guy!
Great post GA.
I also know how not-fun white knuckling it is. I pushed through 39 days one time, and it was a constant struggle. I wish I had like a "Truman Show" set up sometimes to show people trying to quit just how much better life can be through aftercare. Getting sober was just the begining, I've got the life I've always wanted now. It doesn't mean I don't make mistakes, but I can honestly say that for at least 10 months now I haven't had an urge or craving to use. My higher power has truly done for me what I couldn't do for myself; it's kept me clean.
Not sleeping was a big trigger for me. It stemmed from 2 things. First, I was a drug addict who was used to having massive amounts of opiates, marijuana, and liquor to help me get to sleep. Secondly, when I was sober and layed down to sleep, I had all these thoughts running through my head. Things I had done wrong, things I was afraid of, things I was worried about, etc. The AA/NA programs have made it so that I don't have to worry or have anxiety about life anymore; I know if I do the next right thing, I will be just fine. And if I screw up, all I have to do is do the next right thing after that. It's so much easier than it used to be; lying about things, letting my character defects rule my life, hiding from my problems and many other negative things.
One of the most rewarding things for me has been to sponsor others in the program. My sponsor always told me, "when we work together it does as much, if not more, for me than it does for you". He was right. It has definitly been a spiritual experience.
Thanks for your post, you always have some good recovery-minded things to say.
H-Town
I also know how not-fun white knuckling it is. I pushed through 39 days one time, and it was a constant struggle. I wish I had like a "Truman Show" set up sometimes to show people trying to quit just how much better life can be through aftercare. Getting sober was just the begining, I've got the life I've always wanted now. It doesn't mean I don't make mistakes, but I can honestly say that for at least 10 months now I haven't had an urge or craving to use. My higher power has truly done for me what I couldn't do for myself; it's kept me clean.
Not sleeping was a big trigger for me. It stemmed from 2 things. First, I was a drug addict who was used to having massive amounts of opiates, marijuana, and liquor to help me get to sleep. Secondly, when I was sober and layed down to sleep, I had all these thoughts running through my head. Things I had done wrong, things I was afraid of, things I was worried about, etc. The AA/NA programs have made it so that I don't have to worry or have anxiety about life anymore; I know if I do the next right thing, I will be just fine. And if I screw up, all I have to do is do the next right thing after that. It's so much easier than it used to be; lying about things, letting my character defects rule my life, hiding from my problems and many other negative things.
One of the most rewarding things for me has been to sponsor others in the program. My sponsor always told me, "when we work together it does as much, if not more, for me than it does for you". He was right. It has definitly been a spiritual experience.
Thanks for your post, you always have some good recovery-minded things to say.
H-Town
Number 5 is my worst and I have eliminated the word control from my vocabulary because I know I cannot control. Great post!
So far and I intend it to be forever this is the first time I decided to quit both my DOC's just because it was time I did and for overall health.I haven't had any relapse so I don't really know what would trigger one.I'm 288 days clean of alcohol and codeine.I did stop through both my pregnancies but started again as soon as I gave birth,I don't call this a relapse because I intended to drink again when I had the children.I also gave up for 12 months after brain surgery because my neurosurgeon told me I couldn't drink,but I intended to drink as soon as the 12 months was up so once again it wasn't really a relapse.I am getting aftercare through a counsellor,and have been honest with everyone around me,No Secrets anymore.
Denise
Denise
COMMUNITY LEADER
Cant add anything to the list Ga Guy.....You covered it all. Good post sara
Why can't strength and willpower work this is dis-ease not a disease. Would you tell someone going through chemo "hey I have a disease too, I abuse drugs?
This is my 3rd time to detox but its the first time I quit because of me. Does that mean anything? Can a person really just not stay clean because its no longer an option to ruin yours and your families lives?
Thank you for the post!
This is my 3rd time to detox but its the first time I quit because of me. Does that mean anything? Can a person really just not stay clean because its no longer an option to ruin yours and your families lives?
Thank you for the post!
Number 5 is the BIG ONE for me. After I was clean for a couple months and feeling I had this bull by the horns . . . talked myself into thinking I could just take a couple for the weekend. . . .Didn't take long before I was flirtin with disaster. Will power got me through withdrawls. Aftercare is keeping me in recovery.
Yes, many people continue to use after ruining their lives, the lives of their families, and even the lives of their frinds. Addiction has NO boundries--it has no feelings, addiction has not even thoughts, addiction is inbeded in our bodies and once fed it starts to take over, I guess you could kinda look at it like a pitbull--those dogs can be the most gentle(most of us when we are truely clean--not "out" but DONE) creatures in the world, but once in the wrong hands( this is when he are first introduced to the pills) They usually start out a lil shy, a lil resevered(deginning addiction) and ater they fight around 30 times or so (you know back when using was fun---you got that lil kick of them) they start to need it--they crave that blood, stand at their cage crawling and biting at wire (this is when addiction is in full swing and we are invinsible)----however, after a while they get to old to keep fighting, they get to beat dwon, injured, locked up in the humane socaity or even worse they get killed....hmmmmm....ever hear--jail, instatutuion, or deat ( is that the rite 3 guys???)---kinda sounds like the dogs options as well. Those are truely 3 three options we have in we seek to stay in active addiction---NO other options exsist---I mean, you might think--ha, this guy dont know me---I have a great job, I am a great family person--I promise you THAT ALL CAVES in and we are all left with those same 3 options in the end--Jails, Institutions, or Death. If you look at the "doctor forum" on here you will see that the doctor(very sussecfull, wealty, cheif of antistology<-mispelled, hard working) became so addiction to prescription medicen that it cost him everything, his med liseince(he got them back now), his job, and even his respect--in the end he had the same 3 options me and you have aswell--thank God he choose the instation(rehab) and today after many years is rebuilding his life. Anyways, I am sorry i went on and on with this cr@p---i worked all night last night and cant sleep so this might not even make since so just take out of it what you can :)
one last think--its not that "strength and willpower" isnt enough--heck those are the very two things that keep nonaddicts going--those are two things life is built on, its OUR " strength and willpower "
It's great if AA works for you but why tell other people to not summon their willpower to help them stop. I mean if they think it helps them then why bash it? Just because some people feel they have no control, (you must have had some control unless you continually ate pills without ever stopping), doesn't mean that it applies to everyone. If you have the will to start then you have the will to stop. Or should we all just accept our powerlessness and submit to a Higher Power? I'm saying that sarcastically but you know what I mean.
Also for someone to have tapered meant they had considerable willpower. Were they just not addicted during this time? I don't get it.
Also for someone to have tapered meant they had considerable willpower. Were they just not addicted during this time? I don't get it.
well, if you look at it statisticly you will see that only a few percent of addicts are able to successfully taper--and even these few have outside help--like maybe a spouse holding pills or something like that. Also, do you know that it was THEIR willpower? what if they had no option--no more pills, connection busted, doctor caught selling prescriptions, or whatever the case might be. No one said that you can not use your will power as an additional source(well actually no one said that you could not try it as your only sourse--advice and experance is all we can give--I am not sure if anyone on here is a MD) . However, many addicts before us and even most of us have tried it everyway and we have found what works. If your willpower was so strong than how did you end up here, on medHELP? to summon your will power to HELP you stop is a great idea--but not sure if alone it is going to be enough. If we accepted our powerless than why is it that so many spend hours of their day on here helping people like me and you(and themselfs)--"power and willpower" are two things that we have to build off of--gain controll of or atleast even it out and make it stop controlling us. And by the way, I did pretty much continually eat pills without ever stopping--only stopping when i was out of pills or out of day, thats why i found my way here
recovery care includes many different things not just aa.na find what works for you just make a plan and put it into action
Good words avisg!
Not one recovery plan for everone, infact, prob no two alike. no two addicts alike, no two w/ds alike, and no two recovery plans alike--but if you search hard enough you will find the one for you!
Not one recovery plan for everone, infact, prob no two alike. no two addicts alike, no two w/ds alike, and no two recovery plans alike--but if you search hard enough you will find the one for you!
Thank you all for your opinions. I'm not out of pills or money, people arnt holding my pills. I didn't tapper I quit! Hard and fast. And can make a phone call at anytime. I set a quit date & stuck to it. In fact I'm taking a hot bath and drinking lots of water instead. I'm saddened to hear how many of you don't believe in yourselves enough to think there's a 100% failure rate without turning your life into an aa session.
These forums help me. But if I can't count on myself to be honest with myself I'm for damn sure not going to be honest to a sponsor?
Difference is determined by you and only you. I can go to aa all day every day but if I don't want to quit I'd just be showing up high.
I need control back! Not to give it away (again).
I am in no way knocking on na or as al annon treatment centers. Ive been through it all. But its taking it seriously that stops the addition. Otherwise there would be a lot less.addicts out there, right? These pills didn't jump in my mouth chew themselves up and run down my throat. If we have the power to create we have the power to destroy.
Go to meetings enter forums but for Pete's sake people when will believe in yourselves. Have you been beaten down that badly? Tell a cancer patient about your disease how your treatment is working. Maybe even let them know you can die too. This "dis-ease" didn't find me I found it. I needed it!
Bottom line is its important to draw strength from others but its even more important to draw strength from within. Without that why even bother?
Keep an eye on me, I plan to prove my point.
Besides I'm on day 4 of c/t detox, one day at a time right.
These forums help me. But if I can't count on myself to be honest with myself I'm for damn sure not going to be honest to a sponsor?
Difference is determined by you and only you. I can go to aa all day every day but if I don't want to quit I'd just be showing up high.
I need control back! Not to give it away (again).
I am in no way knocking on na or as al annon treatment centers. Ive been through it all. But its taking it seriously that stops the addition. Otherwise there would be a lot less.addicts out there, right? These pills didn't jump in my mouth chew themselves up and run down my throat. If we have the power to create we have the power to destroy.
Go to meetings enter forums but for Pete's sake people when will believe in yourselves. Have you been beaten down that badly? Tell a cancer patient about your disease how your treatment is working. Maybe even let them know you can die too. This "dis-ease" didn't find me I found it. I needed it!
Bottom line is its important to draw strength from others but its even more important to draw strength from within. Without that why even bother?
Keep an eye on me, I plan to prove my point.
Besides I'm on day 4 of c/t detox, one day at a time right.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I hope you do prove your point and i will be the 1st one to congratulate you. sara
First of all, congrads on day for---however, dont put the horse before the wagon---You are right, I am big enough to admit when i have misspoken-----SHEAR WILLPOWER can get you clean---strenght alone CAN get you through w/ds----But IMO you (as many of us do myself included for a long time) are missing the BIG picture---Afterlife---life after those 4 or 5 uncomfortable days that you admazing willpower and strenght got you through( I have heard of this as "white knuckleing it")---what happens next???? for the next 6 months, 3 years, 8 years, all the way up till the day you die? How do you stay clean? I am not knocking you----if you alone can beat this disease without any outside help, aftercare, meetings, or whatever and you go on to live a happy content drugfree life--hey I take my hat off to you-----but IMO for being at day 4 you are getting a lil ahead of yourself---You are still haveing pyhsical w/ds(with your strenght they prob are no big deal) but the hard part starts next---Anyone can make it through those first few days---but after that you gotta make it the rest of your life------thats a long time to "white knuckle" it! Good Luck though, Keep us posted---You do sound like you believe in yourself so give it your all! By the way, here is the truth on addiction--and I am sorry I think it takes a lil more than "human strenght and willpower to over come this, but you believe for yourself!
" Addiction is a chronic, often relapsing brain disease that causes compulsive drug seeking and use despite harmful consequences to the individual who is addicted and to those around them. Drug addiction is a brain disease because the abuse of drugs leads to changes in the structure and function of the brain. Although it is true that for most people the initial decision to take drugs is voluntary, over time the changes in the brain caused by repeated drug abuse can affect a person’s self control and ability to make sound decisions, and at the same time send intense impulses to take drugs.
It is because of these changes in the brain that it is so challenging for a person who is addicted to stop abusing drugs. Fortunately, there are treatments that help people to counteract addiction’s powerful disruptive effects and regain control. Research shows that combining addiction treatment medications, if available, with behavioral therapy is the best way to ensure success for most patients. Treatment approaches that are tailored to each patient’s drug abuse patterns and any co-occurring medical, psychiatric, and social problems can lead to sustained recovery and a life without drug abuse.
Similar to other chronic, relapsing diseases, such as diabetes, asthma, or heart disease, drug addiction can be managed successfully. And, as with other chronic diseases, it is not uncommon for a person to relapse and begin abusing drugs again. Relapse, however, does not signal failure—rather, it indicates that treatment should be reinstated, adjusted, or that alternate treatment is needed to help the individual regain control and recover.
" Addiction is a chronic, often relapsing brain disease that causes compulsive drug seeking and use despite harmful consequences to the individual who is addicted and to those around them. Drug addiction is a brain disease because the abuse of drugs leads to changes in the structure and function of the brain. Although it is true that for most people the initial decision to take drugs is voluntary, over time the changes in the brain caused by repeated drug abuse can affect a person’s self control and ability to make sound decisions, and at the same time send intense impulses to take drugs.
It is because of these changes in the brain that it is so challenging for a person who is addicted to stop abusing drugs. Fortunately, there are treatments that help people to counteract addiction’s powerful disruptive effects and regain control. Research shows that combining addiction treatment medications, if available, with behavioral therapy is the best way to ensure success for most patients. Treatment approaches that are tailored to each patient’s drug abuse patterns and any co-occurring medical, psychiatric, and social problems can lead to sustained recovery and a life without drug abuse.
Similar to other chronic, relapsing diseases, such as diabetes, asthma, or heart disease, drug addiction can be managed successfully. And, as with other chronic diseases, it is not uncommon for a person to relapse and begin abusing drugs again. Relapse, however, does not signal failure—rather, it indicates that treatment should be reinstated, adjusted, or that alternate treatment is needed to help the individual regain control and recover.
Willpower doesn't work for a couple of reasons. First, willpower just isn't sustainable. People's moods ebb and flow every day. With that comes changes in emotions. What starts out as a great day can end up being a crappy one. You just can't sustain willpower all the time. Most of us can't give up our favorite foods for a day...much less forever. Think it would be any easier with our first love, drugs? Secondly, willpower can actually be the worst thing for a drug addict. Willpower translates into control. If we could control our using, do you think we'd be addicts? If you get 6 months clean by willpower, your disease WILL talk you into believing you can control your using. I've yet to see the book "Empowering your inner addict" written yet.
well said ga guy. i've had this post on my mind for the last 20 minutes...just thinking back to how many addicts came here with the same mindset...that they were stronger than their drug of choice...that their shear willpower was all they needed. i watched them all fail.
kind of like a small child just starting school. their minds are open to learning...they soak in everything that the "more experienced" teachers bring to them. they listen...they follow...and in the process they become more educated than when they started.
why is it that addiction is so different? why do addicts fight, with everything they can muster, the knowledge of this disease? the knowledge of those who have tried and failed so many times UNTIL they listened?
kind of like a small child just starting school. their minds are open to learning...they soak in everything that the "more experienced" teachers bring to them. they listen...they follow...and in the process they become more educated than when they started.
why is it that addiction is so different? why do addicts fight, with everything they can muster, the knowledge of this disease? the knowledge of those who have tried and failed so many times UNTIL they listened?
It's because addiction is a mental, spiritual, and physical disease. A poster above likened addiction as a disease to cancer or another physical ailment. The correlation simply doesn't work. We can become well and healthy physically but we can never unlearn the MEMORIES of those highs we got.
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