A Huge THANK YOU to all of you here

[MeganDowney]

Good morning! I wanted to thank you all for your support this past week. It is such a scary experience choosing to go through the pain and discomfort of withdrawals. For me, it is like going to the dentist for a root canal or getting a shot. KNOWING you are about to go through some kind of physical and emotional trauma is the trickiest part.

In a sense it is like giving birth. You submit to an insane experience for the rewards your will receive on the other side. Truly, you are all like doulas in the process. Every time you said you can do this, take it moment by moment, you are doing something amazing, etc. it provided just that little bit of encouragement to carry on. I remember my first son being born…the dr. did the same thing. She told me if I pushed once more he would be out. One more push seemed doable. But of course there were another 30 pushes to go! We need to hold on to attainable goals though and one more push is something we can accomplish, whereas 5, 20 or 50 pushes seems unbearable. I got through it though with your support.

I also wanted to encourage others to push through to the other side of the withdrawals. I woke up on the 8th day feeling like I haven’t since my diagnosis three years ago. I remember how it feels to have natural energy that your body produces throughout the day to help you when you are tired, stressed, whatever. Our bodies are smart. They know what to do if we would simply get out of the way and stop trying to control things.

I feel so fortunate now to have had such an awful ride on some of those detox days. I can’t believe I’m saying this so quickly after, but I am grateful I did not get off easy with withdrawals. It is part of the road to quitting and a HUGE reminder of what an ugly beast I am leaving behind. So I feel blessed to have been in agony for as long as I was.

Now I can turn my attention to aftercare and developing a pain management plan for the future. My spinal condition will always be with me, but I know the risks now of wanting a pill to fix things. It simply can’t. I have to be able to deal with the pain as best possible and accept that it will be part of my life.

Anyway, thank you thank you thank you all for your commitment to all of us here. You are so amazing and I am so grateful for you.

Megan

[MeganDowney]

Thanks Gnarly. That’s good to know. This is actually something I need to address pretty quickly before a flare up. My back sounds nearly identical to yours. :( I have major facet deterioration in addition to the disks, which you probably have dealt with too! My problem is that I cannot take any NSAIDs (advil, etc.). When I was first diagnosed 3 years ago I had these very helpful drs shoot me up with tons of powerful anti-inflammatories so that I could keep competing, which caused an ulcer. It’s a tricky problem because the options seem to be pain killers or anti-inflammatory medicines. Now BOTH are out.

I realize that the answer will need to be behavioral vs. medicine ya know? Ice, acupuncture (ick), diet, and so on. It's hard when there is no "fix" and it's just about maintaining a balance across the board.

Megan

[gnarly_1]

HI Megan just wanted you to know that I also deal with spinal problems I have 2 herniated disks and 3 more deteriorating...now that im off the narcotics my pain is much more manageable it takes a wile but your pain clock sorta resets itself and you may find like many of us that you can do fine with things like 800mg ibuprofine witch never worked for me wile I was on the narcotics...there are other meds that are non narcotic that work
give it a chance and you may find out the same...good luck managing your pain
.......Gnarly  

[MeganDowney]

Hi there Gnarly,

I am so humbled by this experience. Your words were infinitely comforting when things were really hard. It made such a difference, especially since I insisted on doing this by myself! :) I  hugely appreciate all that you do here - thank you so much!

Megan

[MeganDowney]

Hi Sara,

You were wonderful. I thought about naming a few especially supportive people on this board, but didn’t want to get caught up in singling people out. Everyone here is so important. If I had though, I would have had you at the top of the list. :)

i hope you know what a difference you make in this world!

Megan

[gnarly_1]

Hi Megan im so happy for you....your finely on the other side and isent it amazing ...your no longer chained to a pill bottle ...im happy your feeling so well already you have came back around quickly the human body can do amazing things sometimes ...keep pushing forward and guard your clean time with aftercare you got this one...good luck to you and may God bless you abundantly........Gnarly

[MeganDowney]

Hi there,

You are in the right place - congratulations on what you are about to do. :)

I must admit I don't know my exact days, because I used Ultram to taper for 2 weeks before the official detox. I started taking vicodin as needed for pain and ended at 12/day 3 years later.  And I am a small person, not much more than 100 pounds so to me that feels like a lot!  It has been about 3 weeks since my last vicodon and 9 days since the final Ultram dose (the last couple days were really tiny - like 1/3 of a pill).

But my WD really lasted 7 days total. I am also a single mom with 3 kids under 5 years. I am ON 24/7, including throughout the night for the 1 year old sometimes. If I can do it - then you definitely can. Like I said, some days were brutal, and for that now I am so, so grateful. I'm very excited for you. It's so worth it for what is on the other side!

Megan

[jayeye]

i just joined the board....im an addicted and i plan on stoping next week i already took a week off of work for the wd.

how many days sober are you?  what what and how much were you taking?

[dominosarah]

I am really proud of what you have done Megan.  You have stayed true to yourself.  You have done the hard work here and that takes a ton of strength and determination.  Always make taking care of you the most sacred thing in your life cuz when you do that everything else falls into place~~~~sara