Am I the only one with head spins like this?

[newhope61]

So I just got a message on my cell phone from this guy that I usually buy scripts from.  He has 80 mg oxys's and usually charges me $500.00 for all of them (50) This is a really good deal because usually on the street they sell from$25.00-$35.00, even more in the States.  So, I callled him back and said, I wouldn't be getting them this month, with the excuse that I didn't have any money, SOOOOO he says he's really broke and will give them to me for $100.00 if I can come up with it.  $100.00!!!!!!! like reallly!!! SOOOOOO, of course I said sure, I'll get them, thinking now, I know where I can get rid of them no problem and make a pile of cash, since I'm so broke.
So, I'm off the phone all proud of myself, going to get some of my money back with NO effort at all, you know thanking God, the whole nine yards.  THEn it hit me, just what are the chances that they will actually get sold.  Now, you may think even selling them is a little crazy, but I would only have them in my posession for about 5 minutes from one house to another, but hey, that's another issue entirely.
The thing is I know my little addicted mind, I might just have to keep a couple "just in case", not sure what that would look like, but I know how my mind works.  I bet by time I got them I'd be convinced I should keep them, after all I do have a bad back, and you never know what the future may bring>  OMG, what a wreck I am.'
So, now I got to call him back and tell him I can't have them and tell him the real reason is that I'm quitting and I won't be buying them anymore. Why didn't I do that in the first place??? I had to spend all that time playing around with my head.
No questions really ,just venting again, I messaged this to IBKleen and she said I should post it!

[allaboutmary]

OH  ! Thankgoodness !  Good for you !  Be very proud of yourself !  It would have been a huge mistake. Enjoy the rest of your day.  Mary

[newhope61]

Yeah, I cancelled it, told him not to call me anymore.  You are so right, I could have lost my job, everything and I'm very fortunate not to have been caught in the last couple of years.  
It was just tempting.  i was walking to the photocopier, all pleased with myself, because I was going to get some money back, stopped dead in my tracks, I just know what would happen, I'd keep every one of them and I'd have to start this all over again!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank goodness for this forum.  I know you are all celebrating Thanksgiving today, so I appreciate you taking the time to answer me.
Lauren

[NautyOne]

Are you kidding me.........you won't sell a single one, if you pick those up.  

Nauty.............

[troubleinohio]

P.S.  You'll never get your money's worth back when you think about how much youve spent on pills throughout your addiction! The idea you have wont work, dear. Cut your losses and move ahead to a newer, better, CLEAN you!  

[troubleinohio]

please please dont do it! Either for selling (you get caught- you go to prison!) or to keep for yourself. You are stronger than this, you can do this. Please dont get the pills! Count your blessings that up until now you have been lucky enough to not be caught by the police buying your pills, or that you accidentally OD'd on them and DIED. Youre lucky youve come through your addiction this far without that happening. but if you play the game long enough, one way or another it will cost you dearly.
Best wishes.

[justlikeyou]

ive known people with lots of clean time sobre go to prison.

selling drugs is illegal.

think about it.

[allaboutmary]

Yes !  Call him back and tell him not to call anymore, that you won't answer,so don't bother.  Oh please, please don't go get them.  This will not make you money. It will cost you a fortune if you do this.  Don't do it !  Never answer his calls again.  My dealer did the same thing. He was raising prices every month because he knew I wanted them. Then when I stopped it was like he had a blue light special. We just stopped answering his calls and he got the hint.  Stay strong Please !  Mary