Me again. Day 4

[Spike2654]

I don't think I can do this. I thought I'd feel better today. 100 mg/oxy per day. Cold Turkey. Literally feel like I'm dying, can't die from this, right? I have to sit in my office and stare at this screen willing time to pass. I really want to give up.

[Spike2654]

My doctor is my source...blah. So, yeah, haven't gone back or called for more.

I know I'm getting close to the "bridge"...yknow the one that means I'm closer to Freedom than backsliding..I just need to keep telling myself to cross the highest point of the bridge, then it's still a tough go, but I'm closer to the Freedom side then where I am now.

Holding strong.

[clean_in_ks]

You absolutely WILL feel better by Thursday!!!  Music is HUGE...plug in and help get those natural endorphins pumping!  (endogenous morphine)  
The production of natural endorphins just about ceases when we are taking opiates....and they resemble the opiates in their abilities to produce analgesia (pain killer) and a feeling of well-being.

ANY exercise, music, sex, laughing, spicy food consumption will all help to boost the production of your natural endorphins.

You hang on.....with all you've got in ya....it will be SO worth it and you won't ever have to do this again.  Let FREEDOM ring in the New Year!!!

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

Just hang tough. I hope it gets better for you real soon.
Have you cut your sources?

[Spike2654]

Thanks. Still staying 'strong' at work, or whatever this is. Haven't used. Still really want to, but just trying to get through this day. I have tomorrow off, so I'm really, really hoping to feel better by the time I have to go back to work on Thursday.

[weaver71]

How could so many people be wrong? I never met anyone who keeps using say they are happy about it. Look how many random people of all walks of life saying it's worth it. Surrender to the process and keep healing. Think of the rewards. All of your feelings toward your family, clean thinking and clear conscience, and a closer connection with God. IT IS WORTH IT.

[Spike2654]

thanks girl. I'm at the point I don't feel like this is worth it.

[Bubbleguppie100]

Don't give up! You are almost done with the physical withdrawals. You're doing great. Day 4 is huge! Take it one minute at a time. Do you know all of the vitamins and minerals to use?

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

Hang in there Spike.
I'm still here with ya. You are AWESOME for being at work through this too! I couldn't imagine being at work right now. Day 4 is awesome!!!
I'm supposed to go back to work on day 5. We'll see how I feel though.
Just keep truckin. You can do this.
Everyone says day 3-4 are bad. Try to push through if only to see if day 5 brings any relief ya know.
I'm still with ya. Keep it up!

[atthebeach]

Keep on quoting that scripture girl.
Greater is HIS that is in you.
Get thee behind me Satan.
Satan I rebuke you.
Satan is a liar
He comes to steal, kill and destroy.
Keep on keeping on
Keep the faith.
Don't believe the lies of the enemy of your soul.
Sending lots of prayers,hope and comfort,
DEBBIE

[weaver71]

There is no problem so big drugs can't name it worse, even withdrawal. Each time you quit, it gets harder. There will never be a better nor easier time than right now. You will look back soon and realize how strong you are. Anything will be possible for you, even loving your family with a full heart and clear conscience. You are doing the right thing, don't question that at all. So many of us have been right where you are and we testify it is worth it. If you question yourself, believe in us for awhile longer. I had to take that leap of faith. I never thought I would heal, but I tried it my way. Pills never made me a better person, but following through with detox has. Think about BEING good rather than FEELING good. Hang in there, you are already healing.

[mommymarieme]

Definitely don't give in! Can you listen to some music put your head phones on? Music really does help it will keep you mind busy. Yes it is hard but you just have to push thru it! You are worth it so give it ALL you have and don't use! You should delete those numbers and cut your sources too.

[Spike2654]

i need all the prayer I can get. I've been literally quoting scripture in my head (no weapon formed against me), screaming in my head, swearing in my head, ANYTHING to make time pass. I know that I do NOT want to go through day 1-4 again, I just feel so lost like I'm not even human. I always felt more 'alive' with the pills, but not 'me', now i don't know who the heck this thing is occupying my chair.

[tooter212]

Spike don't give in now, your to close to the physical part being over. We're all rooting for you. Just hang in there an keep posting and venting, You can do this. praying for you

[Spike2654]

thank you. yeah, I'm working through the wd, well, wouldn't really call what I'm doing as 'working', but I'm in my business clothes in my office. two kids at home that I have to do dinner, bath and bed. I literally try not to cry, or bite their heads off when they fuss about wanting something. I can't sit still, i haven't slept in like 4 nights, I honestly have no idea how you folks have done this. I'm so weak, my brain feels like another person is in there screaming for pills. I still have 7 hours left of work today, i would appreciate any help or encouragement, because I reeeeeally want to call someone up for some pills just to take this crap away for an hour. But I don't want to restart this cycle...arrrgh.

[Jenny9906]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I went from pretty much a 150mg per day hydro habit to cold turkey on Dec. 7.  You won't die...but you will definitely feel like it. I know what it feels like to feel like you can't do it...but you can. It's crazy how strong you can be when you have to be.  I managed to take care of my 2 kids by myself for the first 6 days of my detox. Trust me, I was far from super mom...LOL...but they were fed, clean, and happy. You are on day 4...which means you are probably peaking out on the physical misery. That's the day that I was like omfg I can't do this....but after that the physical issues got better by the day.  So please hang in there! Note that I'm saying the PHYSICAL issues, because even when that gets better, you still have to deal with the mental stuff.  That's where my issues lie currently.  But at least I'm not having to pop pills just to function.  Hang in there...you can do it!

[tooter212]

I remember that feeling. It will come in waves but you can get through this I'm 2 1/2 months into it and it does get so much better. Like they told me, "don't give up just as the miracle is just around the corner". Hang in there and let us help you. There will be more people on here in a little while with better advise than I have. Just be proud of yourself for taking this step. It's a BIG one. God Bless

[mommymarieme]

Don't give up you are doing GREAT! Day three and four were very difficult for me too you just have to push thru! Try to keep yourself busy both mentally and physically. We are rooting for you! :)