Anxiety was too overwhelming

[Pat1956100]

I am totally exhausted from not sleeping much but thought I had a handle on not worrying about it.  Out of the blue a major panic attack hits me.  I tried to breathe through it but it was too much.  I went down and got 3- 5mg percs off my tenant.  I took one and waited but the anxiety didn't subside.  I took the other one and finally had some relief.  Now that the anxiety is gone, I am in shock that I did that.  I can't believe that after all I have been through and all the agony that I have blown it.  I didn't feel good from the percs.  I still felt sick and have a major headache but it did relieve the anxiety.  Now I just feel like crying.  I thought I had it under control and I just feel so weak and discouraged.  I don't even have a desire to take that 3rd pill.  Now what????  

[Rodbird]

Start over don't beat yourself up. You did what u u felt u needed too. First step in a long journey is the first step. The fact u feel guilty is a big step. YOU cant  change that which u don't

[Rodbird]

Igknowledge! Start over and BELIVE IN YOURSELF! YOUcan beat this!!!!!

[Pat1956100]

I feel terrible and so sad.  I am going to have to get something for anxiety because it's the only thing I can't handle.  I almost posted today how grateful I was that I didn't have any anxiety or depression and then it comes out of nowhere.  It was just too much.  So now I feel depressed because of taking those pills.  I also know that the anxiety comes from not sleeping.
Thanks for your comments.  I feel less alone.

[rizboy]

Just start again.dont worry about it.unfortunatley this is the nature of the beast but it can be beaten!

[Pat1956100]

I was on day 10,  Will the withdrawals get worse again?

[Rodbird]

You are far from alone! All of us that are going through wds. An relate.  I'm on day 12 and the anxiety and lack of sleep is brutal. Just live in the moment and start over! You cant undo what already done. You are in a fight with the biggest Bully you will ever encounter. Don't let the bully win. Preserver!!!!!!

[Rodbird]

Yes its does and will get better you have to want this more that anything Ever!! STAYstro g Pat and learn from your mistake you r still on day10 tomorrow will be Day 11! Believe that!

[Pat1956100]

Yeah, I just thought I was so much stronger than that.  

[Rodbird]

Anxiety is Brutal. That muuch I know.

[gnarly_1]

now you get up dust yourself off and move forward learning an important lessen.........this thing wont go away on its own it takes work you need to get involved with some sort of aftercare to learn what to do when you panic .........as addicts we need to change the very way we think and reason to overcome our illness left to our old way of thinking we will use its time for N/A or another support group this will get you grounded in recovery itd the thinking thats got to change good luck and God bless..........Gnarly

[Pat1956100]

Yes, I do need to do something about the anxiety.  I went for counselling years ago for panic attacks and it did help.  It's funny they wanted to put me on medication and I refused.  This is the worst they have been since then.  Even when my husband and sister died I didn't have the anxiety I have now.  It's overwhelming again so I will have to get help.  

[akitagurl12]

You know I have had ALOT of moments so far where I think I would have taken some pills if I had access to some, especially in the middle of the night and especially during week  2.  Thankfully I just didn't have any in the house and I had to burn the bridge with my supplier to ensure I couldn't get anymore from him.  Now if I ever decide that I need some, it is going to take alot more effort on my part to find them and that will give me time to change my mind.  Right before this quit, I had gone a week and caved in on day 7.  Like you I felt horrible about it, but I just flushed the remaining pills out and started over.  Just don't give up on yourself and take what you have learned and start over.  

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

Awwww pat huni its horrible you had a bad day its ok don't beat yaself  that's the worst thing u can do i hope it dont get bad for ya stay strong my friend we here for ya much love ur friend in oz aj mwah xoxoxoxo

[Pat1956100]

Thanks so much.  I do feel terrible.  They actually made me feel sicker but did relieve the anxiety.  I am going to tell her that no matter how much I beg not to give me any.  I am sure she will listen.  I used to buy them from her all the time and she knew I had quit but she saw tonight that I was freaking out.  

[Pat1956100]

Thanks AJ and everyone.  Your words mean so much to me.  I really hope that I just suffer the mental pain from this and not the physical.  

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

hope she listens pat huni ur an amazing woman don't ever forget that mate mwah xoxoxoxo

[Pat1956100]

Right back atcha AJ.  I am going to try and sleep and start fresh again tomorrow.  Stay strong everyone. I thought I was but it just takes a second of weakness and it justs makes you feel sick.  Well at least for me.

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

sleep sweet mate day 11 days tomorrow we here if anxiety comes back mwah xoxoxoxo love ur friend in oz aj

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

your day 11 tommorow stay strong don't dwell give forward is ya only option huni mwah xoxoxoxo

[fpvfembacktobreakfree]

flipping phones MOVING FORWARD IS YA OnLY OPTION Huni mwah xoxoxoxo

[Pat1956100]

You are helping me so much.  I wish you were here and you could sing me to sleep lol.  

[Pat1956100]

I am wondering if the diet coke I drank today set my anxiety off.  I used to drink a ton of it but have been sticking with gatorade while withdrawing.  I had a few glasses of coke today.  Who knows?  I think I will go back to gatorade.  My whole system is totally crazy.  Nothing works anymore for sleep, percocets make me sick and diet coke may give me anxiety.

[tjstaats]

I was in your shoes 3-weeks ago after 6 days of rehab, call thge doctor got 90 more pills.

Start over, yesterday was hell for me llke you, you know the pain we go through and that how many times do we need to be thrown down the stairs before we know what pain it causes

we are all here for each other, see you on the other side,  

Remember, when you leave the top step of hell heaven is right on the other side