Aa
Oxy Withdrawal, How I did it
Hello everyone, I am finally posting to this forum. I have been eating Oxy's for over two years, at my worst: 6 / 20's a day. I have been reading your posts for a couple of months now, I have had enough and decided to quit so here is how it went for me.
You guys all seem to agree that a gradual "taper" is the way to go so this is what I tried, with no help... My wife didn't even ever know that I had a problem, or should I say, HAVE a problem. Yes, as boring as this sounds, admitting your problem is the beginning.
Anyway, from 6 pills to 4 was easy over maybe 3-6 days then to 3 pills for a couple of weeks, I need to say that, and this is very important, your body is a "creature of habit" and prone to conditioning. I never liked the way I would sleep if I had taken the drug to close to bed time so I never took any after about 5:00 PM and this was never a problem, never felt cravings at night as my body was "tuned" to this.
Now in my withdrawal, this still holds true, if I make it to 5:00, my symptoms just slacken to almost nothing until the morning (because this is how my body has been conditioned). So I find that tapering is easy if you just take your dosage and spread it evenly throughout the day so there is always some in your system. And don't take them at a time when you didn't as your body will be O.K. at this time and it's a nice place to be, no drugs and no symptoms, or at least very reduced symptoms, it's a time to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So back to my withdrawals, from 3 it got a little harder (1 at wake, 1 at noon, 1 at 4:00 PM). I think because less than 3 you stop feeling the "nice" or highness.
I went from 3 to 2 1/2 , I just went from 1 at wake to 1/2. This is where it started to get hard. I did this for about a week then it was time to go to 2 so I started to take just halves, in 2 you have 4 halves so I now went to 1/2 @ wake, 1/2 @ 10:00AM 1/2 @ 12:00PM 1/2 @ 2:00 PM and 1/2 @ 4:00 PM, about every 2 hours. I did this for about 4 days. At this point I was feeling like I wanted more, not real bad, doable, no real symptoms yet besides the depression, this was starting to get to me but I knew where it was coming from so I fought it knowing that it would end.
I now had to start changing what my body wanted so I decided to stop the morning dose, I wanted to extend the time from my last to my first and start getting used to not having any, remember, I don't take after 4-5PM so when I took my first of the day now at 10:00AM it has been about 18 hours since my last and now I am feeling the pain of withdrawals, all of them. (I am not a writer and am doing the best I can, I hope this is making sense) This is where you will be tested, you just want the high all the time now and keep saying to yourself, ****, I'll just get high once more, it wont hurt and then I'll go back to my plan.... ********, DON'T GIVE IN. Somebody once said to me, "If your going to do something, do it, give it your all... If your not going to give it your all then don't even try, it's a wast of time and energy. ARE YOU GOING TO QUIT OR KEEP DOING THESE ******* PILLS??? Now is the time to decide what it's going to be, go one way or the other, don't kid yourself, there is only 2 choices, not three... remember this, Not three.
I went from the two pills, all halved, to now I am just taking 1/4 pill at noon and 1/4 pill at 4:00.. The pain is bad from 10:00 AM until 4:00 PM but at it's worst from about 2:00 PM till 4:00PM. By 5:00PM I am feeling OK and by 7:00PM I am like normal (as well as I can remember what normal feels like) So this has been my experience, I have posted this because I spend some time looking for a post like this so I would know what I was up against. I found that the more posts like this one that I read, the more I felt that I could handle this without going to a drug rehabilitation center. I am now at this stage, my wife still doesn't really know or understand what has been happening (I say this so you realize how easy it is to hide this problem, we are close and she doesn't even know??? go figure???)
Now I don't know how to proceed, 1/4 at noon and 1/4 at 4 and I am in pain, really want more... Should I now just quit or taper more?? I'm thinking quit, so tomorrow I will not take any, it has been over 2 years and tomorrow I will take no more... Wish me luck, I will let you know how it goes for me.
I hope this helps even one person, please stop as this is the highway to HELL.
Tom...
You guys all seem to agree that a gradual "taper" is the way to go so this is what I tried, with no help... My wife didn't even ever know that I had a problem, or should I say, HAVE a problem. Yes, as boring as this sounds, admitting your problem is the beginning.
Anyway, from 6 pills to 4 was easy over maybe 3-6 days then to 3 pills for a couple of weeks, I need to say that, and this is very important, your body is a "creature of habit" and prone to conditioning. I never liked the way I would sleep if I had taken the drug to close to bed time so I never took any after about 5:00 PM and this was never a problem, never felt cravings at night as my body was "tuned" to this.
Now in my withdrawal, this still holds true, if I make it to 5:00, my symptoms just slacken to almost nothing until the morning (because this is how my body has been conditioned). So I find that tapering is easy if you just take your dosage and spread it evenly throughout the day so there is always some in your system. And don't take them at a time when you didn't as your body will be O.K. at this time and it's a nice place to be, no drugs and no symptoms, or at least very reduced symptoms, it's a time to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So back to my withdrawals, from 3 it got a little harder (1 at wake, 1 at noon, 1 at 4:00 PM). I think because less than 3 you stop feeling the "nice" or highness.
I went from 3 to 2 1/2 , I just went from 1 at wake to 1/2. This is where it started to get hard. I did this for about a week then it was time to go to 2 so I started to take just halves, in 2 you have 4 halves so I now went to 1/2 @ wake, 1/2 @ 10:00AM 1/2 @ 12:00PM 1/2 @ 2:00 PM and 1/2 @ 4:00 PM, about every 2 hours. I did this for about 4 days. At this point I was feeling like I wanted more, not real bad, doable, no real symptoms yet besides the depression, this was starting to get to me but I knew where it was coming from so I fought it knowing that it would end.
I now had to start changing what my body wanted so I decided to stop the morning dose, I wanted to extend the time from my last to my first and start getting used to not having any, remember, I don't take after 4-5PM so when I took my first of the day now at 10:00AM it has been about 18 hours since my last and now I am feeling the pain of withdrawals, all of them. (I am not a writer and am doing the best I can, I hope this is making sense) This is where you will be tested, you just want the high all the time now and keep saying to yourself, ****, I'll just get high once more, it wont hurt and then I'll go back to my plan.... ********, DON'T GIVE IN. Somebody once said to me, "If your going to do something, do it, give it your all... If your not going to give it your all then don't even try, it's a wast of time and energy. ARE YOU GOING TO QUIT OR KEEP DOING THESE ******* PILLS??? Now is the time to decide what it's going to be, go one way or the other, don't kid yourself, there is only 2 choices, not three... remember this, Not three.
I went from the two pills, all halved, to now I am just taking 1/4 pill at noon and 1/4 pill at 4:00.. The pain is bad from 10:00 AM until 4:00 PM but at it's worst from about 2:00 PM till 4:00PM. By 5:00PM I am feeling OK and by 7:00PM I am like normal (as well as I can remember what normal feels like) So this has been my experience, I have posted this because I spend some time looking for a post like this so I would know what I was up against. I found that the more posts like this one that I read, the more I felt that I could handle this without going to a drug rehabilitation center. I am now at this stage, my wife still doesn't really know or understand what has been happening (I say this so you realize how easy it is to hide this problem, we are close and she doesn't even know??? go figure???)
Now I don't know how to proceed, 1/4 at noon and 1/4 at 4 and I am in pain, really want more... Should I now just quit or taper more?? I'm thinking quit, so tomorrow I will not take any, it has been over 2 years and tomorrow I will take no more... Wish me luck, I will let you know how it goes for me.
I hope this helps even one person, please stop as this is the highway to HELL.
Tom...
Its actually strange that you note "How much can you take without getting high"...If I were to have taken a 10 i would have felt it.... the day after i posted that response to you I have only taken one 5mg in those 3 days... just today I actually felt kinda crappy. I can't sit down for more than 20 minutes without trying to keep myself busy with something to do. All throughout work I was fine...Thats why I think it has been so easy the past few days or so...I've kept myself busy with work and reading when I had spare time until bedtime. I am happy that you have come through to day 5.
I've heard that sleeping problems is one of the main things that people can't quite tolerate, however, I know of people who have had it much worse, you , Tom, seem to be doing quite well. I read your last post about how you are the "born again Tom". I was actually speaking with a very good friend of 20 years, yesterday. She had done the whole NA thing for cocaine and has been 3 years clean. She said to me "Aura, once you're clean, you'll be the girl I knew...Things will be much more clear and life won't be so depressing, we got hooked as highschool kids just trying to numb ourselves since we have been through so much more than other kids our age....We can't make excuses anymore. Somehow I think we've both lost ourselves...and its hard to get back what we had before then...but we will, even though we have a long way to go..."
It just makes me think about how hard things can be and we all need someone there for us. As an outsider looking in and also being apart of this hard struggle, it makes things a little easier if you have someone to confide in... It's good to see that you can appreciate your surroundings straight.... I see that you're giving everyone else advise and trying to help yourself as well..I think you should give yourself a lot of credit... Any of us trying to do this and sticking to it, deserves credit...Like my friend said, its a long hard road, but we WILL do it... we all can if the will is there and if it's what we really want for ourselves.... to all... good luck and keep your heads up...
I've heard that sleeping problems is one of the main things that people can't quite tolerate, however, I know of people who have had it much worse, you , Tom, seem to be doing quite well. I read your last post about how you are the "born again Tom". I was actually speaking with a very good friend of 20 years, yesterday. She had done the whole NA thing for cocaine and has been 3 years clean. She said to me "Aura, once you're clean, you'll be the girl I knew...Things will be much more clear and life won't be so depressing, we got hooked as highschool kids just trying to numb ourselves since we have been through so much more than other kids our age....We can't make excuses anymore. Somehow I think we've both lost ourselves...and its hard to get back what we had before then...but we will, even though we have a long way to go..."
It just makes me think about how hard things can be and we all need someone there for us. As an outsider looking in and also being apart of this hard struggle, it makes things a little easier if you have someone to confide in... It's good to see that you can appreciate your surroundings straight.... I see that you're giving everyone else advise and trying to help yourself as well..I think you should give yourself a lot of credit... Any of us trying to do this and sticking to it, deserves credit...Like my friend said, its a long hard road, but we WILL do it... we all can if the will is there and if it's what we really want for ourselves.... to all... good luck and keep your heads up...
Day 5 has come and gone, I feel great. I am having sleeping problems and I am drained of energy but I can't complain as these are the only symptoms I am having, I do think about how nice it would be to be high every once and a while but no real cravings.
I spent the day with my family and even commented to Laura how nice it was to be spending the day with her, the kids and the autumn foliage and doing this straight.... enjoying it immensely
I am a born again Tom...
Post again tomorrow, as the never ending saga continues
I spent the day with my family and even commented to Laura how nice it was to be spending the day with her, the kids and the autumn foliage and doing this straight.... enjoying it immensely
I am a born again Tom...
Post again tomorrow, as the never ending saga continues
I'll post what I'm planning on doing probably late tomorrow. My husband and I are going out...this is the time that I would usually "pill up", take 2, stuff about 6 in my pocket to take during the course of the night and probably even have a few shots of liquor or a few glasses of wine to enhance the buzz. All to go see a movie or go to dinner with friends...stupid, huh?
Well I'm not touching the booze, and I'm leaving the pills at home.
Then tomorrow we're going out to our sailboat to spend the day sailing. I'm only bringing two for the day so that I have no choice. So...i'll be back some time tomorrow or Sunday.
I totally understand what you're saying about changing up the habits. Some mornings I would set my alarm clock 30 minutes before time to get up, keep the pills by the bed with a shot of water and when the alarm would go off, I'd pop them, go back to sleep until the real get up time so I'd wake up feeling that morning buzz. So to go hours after waking up before taking them is a huge break in routine. This will be my first sober Friday night in Idunno how long.
It kinda feels good to not be feelin so "good". ha. If that makes any da*mn sense at all.
Well I'm not touching the booze, and I'm leaving the pills at home.
Then tomorrow we're going out to our sailboat to spend the day sailing. I'm only bringing two for the day so that I have no choice. So...i'll be back some time tomorrow or Sunday.
I totally understand what you're saying about changing up the habits. Some mornings I would set my alarm clock 30 minutes before time to get up, keep the pills by the bed with a shot of water and when the alarm would go off, I'd pop them, go back to sleep until the real get up time so I'd wake up feeling that morning buzz. So to go hours after waking up before taking them is a huge break in routine. This will be my first sober Friday night in Idunno how long.
It kinda feels good to not be feelin so "good". ha. If that makes any da*mn sense at all.
Hi Michelle,
I am so glad you are going up against this full bore.
Just a suggestion, something I found that worked for me and sounds as if you are starting to do this.
Try to change your patterns some, for me the morning dose was always the highest as I loved the morning buzz the best, what a way to start your day. Anyhow, what I did was try to change things like this, things that I always did the same with the pills, like you, I started to hold out in the morning as long as I could, just to throw my mind off, trick it a little, or maybe just showing it who was boss, I ended up with not needing any till noon towards the end of the taper.
Do this with other things, like if you were going somewhere and you liked to have a little buzz before, don't do any now..,. What I am saying is try to change your patterns now and later it will be a snap when you finally go c/t. I find this very important and the difference between a pos or a neg end result. This is also very important, all the time you GOT to keep telling yourself that you are quitting so every discomfort you feel from your taper can not be rectified with pills, yes this is not magic, you will want the buzz and the comfort the pills give you but if you are truly quitting then you might as well get used to not having these b a s t a r d s to see you through these times of difficulty and there will be these times, the taper will only be so comfortable as time goes buy, as you taper less these things at times will be stronger until you adjust to the new dose, only a day or so.... Give your first taper some time to set, like a week.
As a matter of that, give me what you intend to do, what is your plan, let me see if I can assist you with the fine tuning.
I mastered the taper, tried several times, documented what I did and what went wrong, tried again and again. I now have it to a science and experienced little pain, little discomfort, and I now still have NO cravings and minimal w/d's.
Keep it up and you will find yourself on the other side.
Tom...
I am so glad you are going up against this full bore.
Just a suggestion, something I found that worked for me and sounds as if you are starting to do this.
Try to change your patterns some, for me the morning dose was always the highest as I loved the morning buzz the best, what a way to start your day. Anyhow, what I did was try to change things like this, things that I always did the same with the pills, like you, I started to hold out in the morning as long as I could, just to throw my mind off, trick it a little, or maybe just showing it who was boss, I ended up with not needing any till noon towards the end of the taper.
Do this with other things, like if you were going somewhere and you liked to have a little buzz before, don't do any now..,. What I am saying is try to change your patterns now and later it will be a snap when you finally go c/t. I find this very important and the difference between a pos or a neg end result. This is also very important, all the time you GOT to keep telling yourself that you are quitting so every discomfort you feel from your taper can not be rectified with pills, yes this is not magic, you will want the buzz and the comfort the pills give you but if you are truly quitting then you might as well get used to not having these b a s t a r d s to see you through these times of difficulty and there will be these times, the taper will only be so comfortable as time goes buy, as you taper less these things at times will be stronger until you adjust to the new dose, only a day or so.... Give your first taper some time to set, like a week.
As a matter of that, give me what you intend to do, what is your plan, let me see if I can assist you with the fine tuning.
I mastered the taper, tried several times, documented what I did and what went wrong, tried again and again. I now have it to a science and experienced little pain, little discomfort, and I now still have NO cravings and minimal w/d's.
Keep it up and you will find yourself on the other side.
Tom...
Once again, it's great to hear that you're staying strong. Today is a much better day than yesterday for me, too. My body is adjusting to having fewer pills, and I feel pretty level. My morning dose still makes me feel a little buzz for some reason, but it doesn't last long and is very minimal, and through the rest of the day I feel normal...or at least closer to normal than I've felt in a very long time. I'm able to wait until 3-4 hours after I wake up to take the first dose, which is a huge step for me, because for so long, my first morning action was to pop a pill before my feet even hit the floor. Breaking that habit feels like an accomplishment, and it gives me even more confidence that I can and will do this. I don't feel rushed anymore, trying to take the advice I've been given that it's not a race and I probably will have a better success rate with a slow taper, so I'm not as anxious as before.
Today has also been a big milestone for me, because yesterday I rode my motorcycle for about an hour, and my neck and upper back HURT so bad because my muscles aren't used to supporting that helmet and I was doing alot of turns in the parking lot, so I was really turning my head. Anyway, any other day before this if I was in this much pain, I'd be popping 2-3 at a time to get past relief into high and feel no pain. I've lived with the pain all day, and it's annoying as he11, but I've been good. I hate pain, but I'm to the point where I finally hate the stronghold that these pills have worse, and at least I know that the pain will pass. The pills, if I were to continue to take them, would NOT. So, I guess it's a mindset...
Anyhoo, great to see you still fighting, and it's encouraging to see that you're starting to feel like yourself again.
Michelle
Today has also been a big milestone for me, because yesterday I rode my motorcycle for about an hour, and my neck and upper back HURT so bad because my muscles aren't used to supporting that helmet and I was doing alot of turns in the parking lot, so I was really turning my head. Anyway, any other day before this if I was in this much pain, I'd be popping 2-3 at a time to get past relief into high and feel no pain. I've lived with the pain all day, and it's annoying as he11, but I've been good. I hate pain, but I'm to the point where I finally hate the stronghold that these pills have worse, and at least I know that the pain will pass. The pills, if I were to continue to take them, would NOT. So, I guess it's a mindset...
Anyhoo, great to see you still fighting, and it's encouraging to see that you're starting to feel like yourself again.
Michelle
tom, i just want to let you know that i went cold turkey from 240mg a day and i am alive and well to talk about it. it is the hardest thing i have ever done. i know you can do this buddy, if anyone can flush there doc down the toilet they have big kahunas. i could have never done that. it shows you really want to do it. i would have eaten them and then started. anyway i pray the best for you. it can be done. you will feel so much better.
Thanks for your post Calzy, seems as these threads go on they loose there attraction. As I have said before, I am doing this for myself as well as others, keeping this post up to date that is.
Anyhow, yes it's another fine day (actually it's raining and dreary) but for me it's a fine day. Day 4 to be precise. Yes, day 4, this is supposed to be some kind of hump day so I read, all could not be much better for me, sleep is returning just fine and my brain is coming back, I am still tired most of the time, not bad and I am not complaining as this seems to be my only setback so far today, just tired, still no cravings, yes I do wish I could have a pill sometimes but and this is hard to explain, I don't want a pill at the same time, I don't think about pills all the time as I thought I would, seems as if I am just going forward, a new phase in my life, just moving forward.
I now have no doubts that the pills are at an end for me, I would and could never do that again, that phase is over, same as when I stopped smoking pot many years ago, I just stopped after smoking for 20 some odd years, (high ALL the time) one fine day and never looked back, never smoked again. I also don't drink but do smoke cigarettes, this is next for me and I will also kick this one out of my life... I will then be a very boring and clean person.
I hope somebody will follow in these steps as it is much easier than you would think, at least for me it was easier that I thought, actually I thought I would be doing those pills till they killed me. I was high all the time for almost 3 years and the thought of quitting seemed impossible, well you all know the feeling. The feeling you need to know is this one, no more pills for me, feels great.
Anyhow, yes it's another fine day (actually it's raining and dreary) but for me it's a fine day. Day 4 to be precise. Yes, day 4, this is supposed to be some kind of hump day so I read, all could not be much better for me, sleep is returning just fine and my brain is coming back, I am still tired most of the time, not bad and I am not complaining as this seems to be my only setback so far today, just tired, still no cravings, yes I do wish I could have a pill sometimes but and this is hard to explain, I don't want a pill at the same time, I don't think about pills all the time as I thought I would, seems as if I am just going forward, a new phase in my life, just moving forward.
I now have no doubts that the pills are at an end for me, I would and could never do that again, that phase is over, same as when I stopped smoking pot many years ago, I just stopped after smoking for 20 some odd years, (high ALL the time) one fine day and never looked back, never smoked again. I also don't drink but do smoke cigarettes, this is next for me and I will also kick this one out of my life... I will then be a very boring and clean person.
I hope somebody will follow in these steps as it is much easier than you would think, at least for me it was easier that I thought, actually I thought I would be doing those pills till they killed me. I was high all the time for almost 3 years and the thought of quitting seemed impossible, well you all know the feeling. The feeling you need to know is this one, no more pills for me, feels great.
I just wanted to say good luck on another day of recovery and start puttig the distance from your physical addiction. You sound like me when you say there's no turning back now. Got to go, i am having to leave the place i was using the computer. It was a company that would pay me cash once in awhile for selling some concrete parking lot repairs., They are closing the doors this weekend, and i dont think they can even pay me, oh well have a good day and i not sure want i can check back.
Thanks for your support, please use my email if you are having a bad time, I am always here and will be glad to talk.
Keep up the taper, you are on the right road, I am feeling great tonight and it's not even day 4 for me, isn't this something great to look forward too???
I am not any different than you, I am here, almost day 4, you can too, you just gota want it bad, that's all.
Keep up the taper, you are on the right road, I am feeling great tonight and it's not even day 4 for me, isn't this something great to look forward too???
I am not any different than you, I am here, almost day 4, you can too, you just gota want it bad, that's all.
A taper is a very personal thing as far as I am concerned, If I were you, I would see what I could take without getting high, you can never get high again if you are serious, This should be much less than you are taking now, you need to be honest, you are quitting so what is the least amount now and still be comfortable? All you want now is to be at ease, minimal cravings. Let me know what this amount is and we will work from there.
At this point, be easy on yourself, know that you are going to do this and be easy, this is not a race, you have been on these for some time now, don't rush getting off and get discouraged.
Figure what you need to be OK and let me know.
At this point, be easy on yourself, know that you are going to do this and be easy, this is not a race, you have been on these for some time now, don't rush getting off and get discouraged.
Figure what you need to be OK and let me know.
whats a good tapering schedule for someone who is on 15-20 mg a day... it doesnt seem like a lot but I've stepped down from atleast 60-80mg a day....it's the home stretch that is getting difficult... the only part I'm getting stuck on is how much time and how much I should be stepping down each day without overdoing it or under-doing it for lack of better words.
wow, i have no clue why the **** is there in my first line in my last post. I thought I said it's great to see you doing so well, but maybe I had a terrible typo???
It's great to see you **** so well. You really are inspiring. I hope to be where you are very soon, even as tough as things are for you right now. I'm sticking to my taper schedule, but having a terrible day emotionally. Just terrible. But I'll get through this. I can't tell you how inspiring it is to read your comments. Day 4 is almost here. Hope it gets easier and easier for you.
thank you for your support. Right now it feels good to be truthful.. I am young but, I can't keep using my past or age as an excuse...It's better to get out of the rut now while I am young than wait til im in too deep. thank you =]
Well, just what I have been waiting for, a huge smile is now on my face..... THANK YOU for that.
The intent of this post was just for this, when I was just getting started I looked for such a post, a day by day and decided to just make one myself.
TimH2 has become one of those friends you wake up hoping to hear from everyday for me, I will never meet him but love him just the same... Thanks to Calzy and wannaquit also, I love you both for your support, and to everybody else of course.
God today is soooo much better for me, I have been letting go with Laura more and more, she is the best, just called me and asked me for a date, tomorrow for lunch, maybe I'll get lucky???
We have been together for 18 years now and I still get excited, good stuff.
Laura doesn't understand, never will or could as far as I'm concerned but supports me, never got mad...
Can you imagine your spouse coming to you, been together for 18 years, and telling you that he/she has been seriously addicted to a HARD drug for 3 years and you never knew??? That means that the last three years have been a lie, all we did together, all that was said was a lie because she didn't know I was high at those times, What a lie, I would be pissed, real pissed if Laura pulled this on me, what road would this have taken me in the roles were reversed??
Laura has been, well, Laura. Laura is always up... Positive... Pleasant and beautiful, gorgeous.. What does she see in me????? God I love you Laura---------------
I haven't gone into much detail with my kids, I say they are to young, maybe an excuse, maybe not but they have the general gist of it and do as children do, block the bad stuff so nothing is said, I have always thought I would tell them about drugs, I being a classic 1960-1980 sex drug rock and roll kind of guy (back then, not now) I have seen it all, been there, done that and someday when the time is right, I will have a lot to say about that.
The future is so bright now, so bleak when you know you are in trouble, on the drugs and thinking you will never quit, how can you? I can't.. I can't stop omg I can't stop... But then you decide that you want this NO MORE and stopping isn't to bad, way easier than I thought.
I know I am not out of the jungle yet but I do know that I will never go back into this jungle.. That is for sure... NEVER!!!!
Laura is proud of me?? Can you imagine this?? But she is, she said so and if Laura says something, she means it, no bull with her. Now I am very proud of myself, If you have been keeping up with this post you will remember the other day I said, how can she support me? what is support anyway?? Well, now I know, it's just someone that believes in you, especially strong when you don't understand why this person would, happens alot around here I suppose, seems I have people here that believe in me and I never ever met them and never will, on the other hand I am finding that I also have been giving this kind of strength to others in need, at least I hope I am...
I am so looking forward to day 4... As the days go by, it just feels better, making distance between you and the devil... One day closer to being able to say... D A M N I did it, I was so sure I couldn't and I did... It wasnt even all that hard, Just needed to want it bad enough
Just needed to want it bad enough
Just needed to want it bad enough
Can't say this to many times, if there is one message to give folks here, one answer, one bit of information to get over the top, this is it...
YOU NEED TO WANT IT
The intent of this post was just for this, when I was just getting started I looked for such a post, a day by day and decided to just make one myself.
TimH2 has become one of those friends you wake up hoping to hear from everyday for me, I will never meet him but love him just the same... Thanks to Calzy and wannaquit also, I love you both for your support, and to everybody else of course.
God today is soooo much better for me, I have been letting go with Laura more and more, she is the best, just called me and asked me for a date, tomorrow for lunch, maybe I'll get lucky???
We have been together for 18 years now and I still get excited, good stuff.
Laura doesn't understand, never will or could as far as I'm concerned but supports me, never got mad...
Can you imagine your spouse coming to you, been together for 18 years, and telling you that he/she has been seriously addicted to a HARD drug for 3 years and you never knew??? That means that the last three years have been a lie, all we did together, all that was said was a lie because she didn't know I was high at those times, What a lie, I would be pissed, real pissed if Laura pulled this on me, what road would this have taken me in the roles were reversed??
Laura has been, well, Laura. Laura is always up... Positive... Pleasant and beautiful, gorgeous.. What does she see in me????? God I love you Laura---------------
I haven't gone into much detail with my kids, I say they are to young, maybe an excuse, maybe not but they have the general gist of it and do as children do, block the bad stuff so nothing is said, I have always thought I would tell them about drugs, I being a classic 1960-1980 sex drug rock and roll kind of guy (back then, not now) I have seen it all, been there, done that and someday when the time is right, I will have a lot to say about that.
The future is so bright now, so bleak when you know you are in trouble, on the drugs and thinking you will never quit, how can you? I can't.. I can't stop omg I can't stop... But then you decide that you want this NO MORE and stopping isn't to bad, way easier than I thought.
I know I am not out of the jungle yet but I do know that I will never go back into this jungle.. That is for sure... NEVER!!!!
Laura is proud of me?? Can you imagine this?? But she is, she said so and if Laura says something, she means it, no bull with her. Now I am very proud of myself, If you have been keeping up with this post you will remember the other day I said, how can she support me? what is support anyway?? Well, now I know, it's just someone that believes in you, especially strong when you don't understand why this person would, happens alot around here I suppose, seems I have people here that believe in me and I never ever met them and never will, on the other hand I am finding that I also have been giving this kind of strength to others in need, at least I hope I am...
I am so looking forward to day 4... As the days go by, it just feels better, making distance between you and the devil... One day closer to being able to say... D A M N I did it, I was so sure I couldn't and I did... It wasnt even all that hard, Just needed to want it bad enough
Just needed to want it bad enough
Just needed to want it bad enough
Can't say this to many times, if there is one message to give folks here, one answer, one bit of information to get over the top, this is it...
YOU NEED TO WANT IT
Tom, you are an inspiration to me and have posted exactly what I need to know at this time in my addiction to methadone. I love reading your posts, as well as, TimH2. I wish you both would consider building and maintaining a public blog/website. You are helping thousands, maybe millions of people with your experiences and knowledge. U both are real, down to earth, brutally honest guys with your ego's in check. I find myself jealous of your spouses! I have a crush on u both! Keep up the great work!
Congrats on day 3!!!! You have the right mindset and will succeed. I left a post for you on the other forum. Tom, we are all a little crazy :). I was crazy to get myself into this mess to begin with. The head trip is the worst and it is the hardest part of the fight. Keep it up my friend.
Tim
Go Red Sox!!!!!
Tim
Go Red Sox!!!!!
The two things that seem to linger for me is the lack of energy for months, as you rebuild your body back up and emtional feelings that keep trying to pull you back. You were pretty touch and go yesterday, i think you see why some ppl say to get rid of your pills or you might of given up. Glad your sticking to it.
Day 3 is here,
I feel better and got some sleep last night.
I woke up realizing how fortunate I am. I am glad I am getting off the drugs, I truly don;t even want one now, withdrawals are minimal, no cravings... Biggest thing is the head thing, it's like I have been sick for some time and my brain is turned off.
I can't tell you how good it feels that I am doing something about this and how convinced I am that I will succeed.
I just reread the past posts here, thank you all for your support and I hope you all don't think I am too crazy, lately I have been feeling a bit crazy but normally I am pretty level... Believe it or not..
Tom...
I feel better and got some sleep last night.
I woke up realizing how fortunate I am. I am glad I am getting off the drugs, I truly don;t even want one now, withdrawals are minimal, no cravings... Biggest thing is the head thing, it's like I have been sick for some time and my brain is turned off.
I can't tell you how good it feels that I am doing something about this and how convinced I am that I will succeed.
I just reread the past posts here, thank you all for your support and I hope you all don't think I am too crazy, lately I have been feeling a bit crazy but normally I am pretty level... Believe it or not..
Tom...
You have classic w/d symptoms, In my opinion you should just keep off the drugs, all of them.
I am no doctor but from my experience you don't need to have cravings to experience w/d.
The secret to being drug free is by not taking any drugs, you are 2 day in, you should keep going. The sickness may be with you for a week, maybe not.
Hope you get off the drugs.
You should post at the top in the main forum, you will be seen there and get a lot of support. You will not be seen here at the bottom of my post.
Good luck, Tom...
I am no doctor but from my experience you don't need to have cravings to experience w/d.
The secret to being drug free is by not taking any drugs, you are 2 day in, you should keep going. The sickness may be with you for a week, maybe not.
Hope you get off the drugs.
You should post at the top in the main forum, you will be seen there and get a lot of support. You will not be seen here at the bottom of my post.
Good luck, Tom...
i just want to tell you guys what i'm experiencing. if you could just tell me whether these are normal or not. today is the second day that i'm not taking any ms contin. and here are my symptoms: Anxiety, depression, hot and cold flashes, loss of appetite, runny nose, sweating, tearing, lack of energy, can't sleep, sneezing, weakness, and severe diarrhea (i mean i just feel like i'm not digesting anything, sorry to tell you guys but it's almost colorless) i haven't eaten anything since last night except an ice cream which is really weird because it made me even colder. i mean it's 80 degree here in the house an i'm really cold. the good thing is that i absolutely have no craving for ms contin because it made me sick and that is why i stopped taking it. anyway there is no way back for me. just someone please tell me when these things will go away? by the way because of my extreme back pain i had to take something so i took one vicodin this morning and if i have to i'm gonna take another one at night. please advise me guys if there is anything i can do to make this process easier.
OK, day 2 is coming to an end and I need to report.
I am amazed that I don't have any cravings, at all, yes I am surprised. I guess this is the end result of a taper gone good.
The bad side is that I feel terrible, I have no ambition, no energy and am as depressed as I have ever been. The real scare is the lack of brain I have, I went to the post office today and didn't even want to talk to them in fear that I would not know what to say, I didn't even want to talk.
I have strong feelings that I will conquer this beast, I don't at this point want any more drugs and do want to feel better.
I have been tapering for some time now and during a taper, all you think about is the drugs... Now going thru w/d's I have had enough.
It is better during the day because I am alone, Laura will be home soon and this will be harder as I don't want to show my true colors and this requires more effort, I just don't have the energy.
My big fear is that I will not sleep again tonight, haven't slept for a while.
I am waiting for anything good, just a small feeling of being better... This keeps me going.
Tim & Calzy,
Thank you for your concern, I haven't a doctor that knows that I am addicted, don't want to go and explain, don't want more drugs, a couple of more days and I will be feeling better.. I can hang until then, I am strong. I am going to check into NA and see if this is something for me.
Please keep reading and posting back, you guys are great friends in my time of need.
You both seem to be doing sooo well, you must be very proud of yourselves and now you hang here and help others, way to go... my hat's off to you both.
Tom...
I am amazed that I don't have any cravings, at all, yes I am surprised. I guess this is the end result of a taper gone good.
The bad side is that I feel terrible, I have no ambition, no energy and am as depressed as I have ever been. The real scare is the lack of brain I have, I went to the post office today and didn't even want to talk to them in fear that I would not know what to say, I didn't even want to talk.
I have strong feelings that I will conquer this beast, I don't at this point want any more drugs and do want to feel better.
I have been tapering for some time now and during a taper, all you think about is the drugs... Now going thru w/d's I have had enough.
It is better during the day because I am alone, Laura will be home soon and this will be harder as I don't want to show my true colors and this requires more effort, I just don't have the energy.
My big fear is that I will not sleep again tonight, haven't slept for a while.
I am waiting for anything good, just a small feeling of being better... This keeps me going.
Tim & Calzy,
Thank you for your concern, I haven't a doctor that knows that I am addicted, don't want to go and explain, don't want more drugs, a couple of more days and I will be feeling better.. I can hang until then, I am strong. I am going to check into NA and see if this is something for me.
Please keep reading and posting back, you guys are great friends in my time of need.
You both seem to be doing sooo well, you must be very proud of yourselves and now you hang here and help others, way to go... my hat's off to you both.
Tom...
You are feeling the effects of w/d's and are at the begining of them. I felt the same way and I promise you it will pass eventually. You sound like a real fighter to me and it will get better. Try to keep as busy as possible and ask your doctor for something to ease the anxiety and depression. You were on a lot of narcs and it will take some time. Please have another talk with your wife and tell her what you are feeling. She will be there for you. I also knew what I was doing when I kept on taking the pills after my pain was gone. I have a addictive personality and this has happened to so many. You are not alone and you are not a bad person. Please stop thinking this way and give yourself a break. Hang in there and you will feel better. Stay on the forum and read posts, vent and if you believe in prayer, now is the time to really pray hard. I would go to a AA/NA meeting and get a sponsor. You can do this!!!! Your emotions are on a roller coaster ride right now and it is pure hell. I am rooting big time for you Tom.
Tim
Tim
The way you are feeling is why this forum exists because the w/d's are a ride thru h e l l and back and so many ppl give up after a few days. You did everything right with your taper but the body knows when it's missing something and screams for it. The crying is normal and good to get out, just keep taking hot baths and find something to fill your mind. There are alot worse pains the body can feel than w/d that last alot longer than the w/d will so there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you got the oxy from your doctor, that him or her that you decided to quit and you need some clonodine for the withdrawals a.s.a.p. , unless you already take blood pressure medicine.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
