It feels so real now that I am asking for this help. I have been dependant on 30/500 for as long as I remember ( 15+ years). Lately I have been aware of my real depth of the problem. I have ? / had a back problem and I can arrange my own repeat prescription online ( don't have to see the doctor ). I order them exactly on the 12 day limit ( 8/day), plus I have had a seperate personal supply. I have a stressful demanding job, and I started to over use the tablets as it gave me an invincible energetic feeling. I was taking 3 at a time every 90 minutes ( don't know how I got to that rate), and on bad days I can take 18, but normally no more than 12. I stop around lunchtime, but when I get home I am very tired. I have developed many sleep/mental and other problems which I know is down to the drugs.
I completely ran out of tablet on monday morning, I was taking ANY thing to try get the lift, but to no avail. This is the day I have not taken any in my memory. I quickly became ill, flu like sysmtoms. I hid behind the symtoms, and with the current scare I have been precribed Tamiflu ( only I know the truth ).
I now realise how bad my addition was / is, I have new supplies, took 2 last night and felt fit and well within the hour. I am only taking 1 at a time. How long will the pain last, and what else can I do.??
If you stop completely you can expect 3-5 days of full physical WD symptoms, day 3 usually being the worst for most people. As to how bad and what exactly will happen its impossible to say really as everyone is different. Due to the long time you've been using them you can expect further bouts of WD (but far milder) to occur at intervals for some time.
Its also likely you will suffer insomnia and emotion instability for some time too. You can take various things to mitiage the WD to a degree, see the Health Pages, top right for Thomas Receipe and other useful stuff.
Now a word of warning, the amounts of paracetamol you have been taking are far too high, well into liver toxicity levels. I strongly suggest that you get blood/liver function tests and whether you remove the drug from your life completely you cut that parcetamol down a lot.
You are realizing that your problem is a problem and that is the first step. The second is wanting to do something about it.
I am on day 4 and am hoping that my WD soon gets easier. I won't sugar cote it, it has ben hell. Tell SOMEONE!!!!! Someone you trust, having support and someone that can stay with you is very important.
You can read other success stories on here and know it can be done!!!!! Also, the letters from others are a godsend.
Hang in there Co and write back if you need an ear.
I can relate to not wanting to tell anyone. I have never told anyone about my problem. My family knows I was and am currently tapering off hydro's but they have no idea how much I have been taking. There's part of me that wants to tell them so bad but I just can't as I am also ashamed. The good thing is that you found this forum. There are so many wonderful and caring people that will not judge you one bit so don't be ashamed here. My job is also physical demanding so I know what you mean about the added energy. The thing is, as our tolerance grows and we take more and more, that energy goes away and we just have to keep taking them to keep from going in to withdrawals. If you have the weekends off you could try and stop on say wed or thursday and try and tough it out at work for those 2 days and then have the weekend to finish up the withdrawals. The worst of the physical is usually over in around 5 days or so. One thing that helps so much is exercise. I know it can seem impossible because of the lack of energy but force yourself even if it's just a short walk. I've been through it both ways. I've laid around waiting to feel better and I've forced myself to exercise. If you lay around it just drags them out. I've also worked through them and yes, it was very difficult, but it did help me not to think about it. Also be sure you are eating healthy and pushing the fluids. It really helps to flush the system and speed up the withdrawal process. Also, on the right hand of the page under health pages you will find the amino acid protocol. It lists some vitamins and supplements that can help your body get back on track. Support is huge so if you don't plan on telling anyone, come on here and post often and as much as needed. It will also help by looking back once you are clean to remember what you had to go through to get there. I personally think it's 75% mental and 25% physical. If you tell yourself you feel miserable you will feel worse. Just stay focused and mentally strong. This isn't gonna be a easy ride but it's not a impossible one either. Read as many posts as you can so you can research and educate yourself on what to expect. The more you know the more tools you learn that are necessary to stay clean. It also helps to respond to other posts. Just knowing you are helping people really adds that added bit of motivation we all need. You know you have to stop eventually unless you plan on taking these pills forever. You know you can't and don't want to do that. Just stay strong and know you are not alone. You can make it through this. There's no day like the present as tomorrow may never come! Best of luck and hang in there!
Its good to know I am not the only one going through this. The blinding headaches are unusual. My initial reason for taking them was back pain, but I have read so much about liver and kidney damage, I just can't help but onder what damage I have done, and how do I lie my way through that one !!! People thinking you have swine flu when you are only withdrawing from self inflicted abuse !
I too started taking pain meds for back pain. That's how a lot of us ended up in addiction. You'd be surprised how much our bodies can take. Even if for some reason damage has been done our bodies can usually heal. I was taking high doses of meds that had a lot of tylenol in them. I had a liver function test done and everything came back fine. If I were you I would get some blood work done just to be on the safe side. I'm sure your family knew you have been on the meds in the past because of your back pain so there is no reason you would have to lie about any damage if there has even been any done. But, the best way to make sure you don't do any damage is to stop taking the meds. Have you tried any over the counter meds for your headaches? Another good thing to do if you are worried about any damage that you may have done is to start exercising and eating healthy. That will make your body happy and help to heal. Also, once you start trying to live healthy it can be somewhat addicting itself and make you feel much better both mentally and physically. Just try not and get down on yourself. There have been so many and still are many in your exact position. Addiction is a disease and needs to be treated as such. I just wish doctors would have made us more aware of the abuse than can be involved in pain meds. I'm not saying it's their fault because they didn't force me to take the pills. Or I just wish I would have done my own research from day one. I never had any sort of addicted behaviors before my injury so didn't think anything when I started taking the meds. I think before narcotic pain meds are prescribed for over a month they should have some sort of class or seminar on them to educate everyone about how addictive they really are. I know I'm the one to blame and not trying to put it on the health care professionals but think something should be done before they are allowed to prescribe pain meds for a extended period of time. Even if it just saved one person from getting in to deep it would be worth it.
Just hang in there bud and you'll make it through just like many others have in the past. Try and stay busy and pick up a few hobbies so you're not thinking about the pills. I haven't read a book since I was in the marine corps but started reading a bit while going through withdrawals. Pick up a book that interests you just to keep your mind in other places. Also, puzzles are really good too. I never thought I would ever put a puzzle together but thought I would try one to keep busy. I was surprised on how much it helped. Just try and find something even if you don't think you'll like it. Anything to keep from taking a pill. Just keep going strong and know we are all here for you. You can do this!
Great advice Brian, especially the keeping busy part. I also got hooked because they were required for pain. I worked my way up to an average of 400-500 mg oxycontin per day but could easily chew 8 40's at one time. It makes me sick to think of how much I've taken. My problems became problems around 5 yrs ago.
I have not lasted past the fifth day and that was only one time roughly 2 yrs ago. I just made the 4 day mark. I truly believed I would loose my mind last night as I slept a grand total of 5 minutes!!!
This morning, I had almost convinced myself to call someone for more but came here first and found a note from a total stranger. I cried like a baby for about five minutes and thanked her.
Just as I finished writing her, one of my suppliers showed up. He never asked me (thank-GOD) and I never asked. Of course the right thing to do would have been to tell him not to bring me anymore but I will consider me not asking him for some as a victory and pray I will be strong enough to do the right thing next time.
I worked outside yesterday and today. The temperature here (Canada) today was 37 F with 30 mph winds. AND YOU THINK YOU GOT THE CHILLS!!!!!! Brian is right, it's hard to get motivated (especially after 5min of sleep) but you will be starting to feel alive again soon. I worked day 3 and 4 of withdrawal and if I had known it made things this better, I would have worked the first 2 days as well.
Hang in there waste of space. If you stay your course, this will be the last time you feel like this!!!
Gotta run, praying tonight is easier than last.
Thanks again Michigan, your note was perfectly timed,
It is really great to have your messages of support and advice. I agree nightimes are the worst, last night ( day 3.5 ) was slightly better, but I have to confess because of the shear pain I took 1 tablet before going to sleep, I am sure it is just pshchological, still woke up at 4 again, felt slightly better, but my bed was soaking, I laid there thinking how I had come to this. I took 3 single tablets yesterday, I have not had any (yet ) today. I am trying to still run my business from home, this is keeping me busy and frustrated. Because of the fake 'Swine flu' my family ( and now neighbours ) do not expect to see me outside, so exercise is difficult, I feel guilty for my Dogs, looking forward to taking them out. Thanks for continued support
First day back at work, feel really strange, I am into my third full day of not having any tab's and it is getting hard, know it would be back at work. I am going to a different doctors this afternoon about a seperate issue, I will see how that goes before I decised to take the addition thing further.
I am still feeling dizzy and disorientated, bowels are really bad, and my appetite has gone, but I could do with loosing a pound or 25 !!!
No one maybe reading these reports, but that doesn't matter, it is helping to get it out there.
For me the dizzy part lasted about 5 days or so. I think it's just our brain getting use to being without the drugs. I know everything just seems so fuzzy for a few days. It will go ways and things will be clearer for you very soon. As for the stomach issues, get some immodium...it works wonders. I know eating can be very tough but your body needs the nutrients. I know protein shakes helped me quite a bit. Also, check into the amino acid protocol. It will help your body get back on track and speed everything up. Also be sure to be getting some exercise even if it's just a little bit at a time. I honestly think exercise is the best remedy. Just keep going strong and all of this will be in the past before you know it. What's a few weeks of feeling horrible compared to a lifetime of feeling like sh!t while chasing the high. We both know the time to quit has to come eventually as we can't be on the pills forever. There's no time like the present and if you have made it 3 days it shows you have the strength to make it the rest of your life without them. Just keep pushing forward and take it a day at a time. You can do this. Just stay strong and you will get your life back!
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