Dating Oxycontin IV User

[Escrazy]

OK guys I need some advice.  I am dating someone that IV's oxycontin.  It scares me quite a bit.  I am the only person he has told and feel a certain sick pride in that.  Sometimes I think I should cut it loose but, I guess the question is, do you think I am helping him by being there and being someone he can be honest with, or is it just doomed to failure and am I wasting time on someone that will end up hurting me in some way or another?

By the way, he buys them illegally, so no prescription.  Takes 1 or 2 a day-highest dose possible.

[Axl_0113]

hmmmm....

You said you are going to stick it out with him.....but you are going on a date with another guy?  

Not judging....just thought that was funny.

You know- I'm sure you have heard the saying...."you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him drink".  Well...it holds true in your situation.  You cannot help someone who is not ready to help himself.  If you are sure about "sticking it out with him" then I would be relentless in your damands that he get help.  I'm not so sure he realizes how close he is to losing you.

[Escrazy]

Well let's see.  He started on his own Methadone Program. Illegally of course.  Then he ran out day before yesterday and went right back to Oxy.  He moved and is now living closer to me, so we have seen a bit more of each other. He was doing better with the Methadone at least not having to get money daily for his habit and none of the mood swings and such..  I dunno he refuses to go to the doctor and get on a set program.  He sounded awful yesterday in the worst of it.  Crying on and off all day.  He would not even talk to me on the phone only text cause he was such a mess.  Very sad!

I have decided to stick it out with him (at much as I can), but when he is going through this, I kind of back off for fear of him asking me for money.  I will have to deny him and it would make me feel awful to have him ask and to have to say no.  His new place is awful, uggghhh I did not go inside but the Outside is decrepit, I can only imagine what it looks like inside.  It breaks my heart thinking of him living in that kind of squalor.

In the meantime, I got asked out on a date by a guy that is opposite in every way.  I have decided to go. I feel like I cannot stop looking for what I need.  I do feel a bit guilty though?

[Escrazy]

I agree that I am number two.  I did not take offense and appreciate your concern for my well being.  I guess I am walking a very thin line here.  So you decided to get married while you were still using.  So your fiance was with you when you were actively using?

You said yourself that if not for love you would not have quit.  How then does someone know they are loved if you run like hell.  I do not contribute money to his problem.  I do not involve myself in any of his dealings.  I offer him an ear and a heart.  He has never stolen from me, been abusive in any way and has certainly been caring and non-judgemental within the confines of our relationship.

I cannot defend his actions, and I certainly want him to quit.  I have boundaries that if crossed will result in our relationship ending on every level.  I do think that there is a possibility of my being hurt-probably more than just a possbility.

[Escrazy]

He runs his own business.  No he does not just come around at night for sex.  Holy **** I am not that pathetic!  We do not live together though.

He calls to see me, we hang out for the day or evening and stuff.  Actually, I would say it is less sex than I would like.  I lord did I just admit over the internet that I am horny all the time?  lol

The benefits of being in my late thirties!

As for the Methadone.  He has quit before under a doctors supervision.  So I guess he thinks he is not flying blind.  Not sure if this is just maintenance or if he is planning to taper off?

[whitie]

ah........thats not a good idea. people that sometimes start taking methadone,that dont understand how it works, may end up od'ing. its a very strong opioid that should be studied well before taking. many people have died by suddenly trying methadone off the street.

he better watch out. he needs to see a doc...........or make a serious decision to get off the opioids with out  using some ones methadone script. hes better off going tapering or going ct. or better yet SEE A DOC !!

[Escrazy]

Ok well there has been some progress.  He bought someone's methadone prescription.  Not sure if it is good or bad but he said he is gonna try and get out of the daily cycle of gettin' the oxy's and what not.  Plus no shooting so that is good.

We spent a little time together last night.  He seemed a little more connected.  I plan on staying his friend.  As for dating, I dunno if he continues with some progress forward then I won't blow him off.  If he goes back to oxy's then it will be dead in the water.  Strangely, I never asked him to quit, I just asked him what his plans for his life were and let him talk.  

I am aggressive in my questioning of him.  I ask everything that I want to know.  No holds barred.  He get's uncomfortable sometimes but he still answers.  He knows how seriously I take my life, and I try to be a good example of how a person should act.  

We'll see-so I would ask that you all keep him in your prayers.   He sure needs them!