Day 6 of withdrawl! Will just 1 really hurt me?!?!

[Livngstrong]

I am on day 6 (cold turkey, no tapering) of opiate withdrawl, I am trying hard, but I just want one! I am a 36 year old female that has been on any pain pill I could get for the past 3 years! I never really had any pain with my withdraws. I had tiredness, irritability, sadness! I pushed through all that for my 3 kids! Couldn't let them know I was dying inside! Mine at the moment is the mental part of it! I could go to about 5 family members and get just one percocet! Would it really set me back or just take away the craving!?!?

[Livngstrong]

I would love to be able to tell you all that I was going on day 18, but I am not! I was doing great, then the anxiety of everyone coming over for Christmas got to be to much! I took one 10mg oxycodone on Christmas Day! I didn't get the feeling I normally would have, I didn't want more and I realized, I didn't miss it! I love the me I am becoming with out the pills! I am ashamed and disgusted with myself!  I have cut out a lot of caffeine because I realized that was making my anxiety worse! At first, I would drink coffee all day to try to break that tired feeling! I get up, have one cup of coffee and just move, I don't stop long enough to think! I am a lot less irritable without pain pills. That one moment off weakness has shown me, that I will start the new year off with not wanting the constant struggle! I am sure I will have my hard days, but, picturing the happy days ahead, will out weigh the bad!

[Livingsfree]

Living strong. Here something to think about. This is my 4 th attempt to quit. The last time I quit i made it to day 13. But I realized something, on day 12 it was the first time I went about the whole day without thinking of the pill. I recall going to sleep in amazement. But.. Unfortunately, my doc came through out of nowhere he next day and I was all over it! Lol. In which it led to another 2 years of a constant steady supply. Now....... I'm running out 2 weeks early and I don't go out and buy of the streets, I have always got it legally. So being tired of worries of when Im going to run out and not getting that great high I used to get.... I decided it's not worth this constant chase. So here I am .... 6 days in.

[Livingsfree]

Living strong. Here something to think about. This is my 4 th attempt to quit. The last time I quit i made it to day 13. But I realized something, on day 12 it was the first time I went about the whole day without thinking of the pill. I recall going to sleep in amazement. But.. Unfortunately, my doc came through out of nowhere he next day and I was all over it! Lol. In which it led to another 2 years of a constant steady supply. Now....... I'm running out 2 weeks early and I don't go out and buy of the streets, I have always got it legally. So being tired of worries of when Im going to run out and not getting that great high I used to get.... I decided it's not worth this constant chase. So here I am .... 6 days in.

[Livingsfree]

Yup.... That's what destroys the wall of will for me. The mental emotions. I can get past the flu like symptoms, but the mind is so hard.

[Livingsfree]

Ha.. Just sent you a pm. I thought u were on the 6th day. I envy you know. Loll loll. I'm on day 6. Hopeless but aware it's temp.

[Livngstrong]

As I sit here on my 8th day sad, depressed and want to give up! I find myself crying happy tears! Tears because I see my children playing, really playing! Playing with the same toys, in the same room they played with many times before, it just seems different! I am whats different! When I laughed with them, it was a real laugh! Something I forgot how to do! I am sure many of you if not all, know the hurricane of emotions that swirl inside of you! The emotions that if I tried to explain to anyone else, they would think I was crazy! I am to afraid to admit any of this to anyone else for fear of judgement! You all above will never know how much you have heled me the last few days! From the bottom of my heart, I thank  you!!