Depression after long term heroin and benzodiazepines abuse.

i'm still typing this text to give you as better info as i can get so i'll post again soon. i'm just giving you a part of the whole picture.  You'll c it soon!

Depression maybe existed before the long term heroin and benzodiazepines abuse but came up after all that....or had been present and led to substance abuse, since i've tried everything in my life. My shrink has started working with me to resolve some depression that was coming along with benzos and things, as well as he, as a person and doctor. Help!!I cannot take it anymore..

I am 7 weeks now on Zoloft (100mg) once every morning (in order to be able to fall asleep every night!!)
I still have side effects from it though..!!....My palms are very sweaty and keep on sweating all day long , even though it's winter here (in Greece)...
I have some annoying repeated yawns with tears, through the day...symptoms that i have encountered and have faced during my -successful!!!at least so far!!..and i hope with much more certainty than ever before that i will never "suffer" relapse!!ever again! The ****** life you live as a street heroin addict and the sleeping pills abuse (whenever heroin didn't "cover" my mind with "Morpheus' fog" * !!) has driven me to sanity again.
So, no more opiates and hypnotics addiction in my life No More!!!
I must also add that the success of my complete opiate detoxification . My psychiatrist has prescribed to me this "cure for And annoying stretches alongside with yawns .I don't have to say that my psych is still ****** up. Should I be more patient ?But for how long can I be patient? I forgot to mention that I don't have appetite at all, whereas I'm taking remeron too, which increasing the appetite as we all know.(i 've been taking remeron for three months now and I'm o.k. with it)What do you think that I 've got to do with zoloft?


* Morpheus' fog = Morpheus, in Greek mythology is the God of sleep.Morphine, the synthetic analgetic created by Bayer in the beginning of the 20th century was named after him! The effect and morphine itself, which is an opiate, are highly addictive both physically and psychologically because they enhance the feeling of well-being and numbness, initially existing in our mind due to our endogenous opiate production and excretion in our mind (called "endorphins"). Endorphins and their excretion inside our brain have very similar but less strong effects on us than -for example- heroin or morphine/codeine etc etc. They describe it as this beautiful sensation-sentiment-feeling that we get just before falling asleeep...That is why i called it "fog"..'dause everything is blurry these last few moments before commencing a good night's sleep....(All that happens to normal people almost everyday regardless of financial and/or other factors. Probably you don't even need to have had a nice day to get that feeling judt before falling asleep in front of a TV set...i cannote remember these feelings myself as i still use a (very soft drug!) benzodiazepine to lighten the side effects of the 2 anti-depressants i am on (Zoloft 100mg/day and Remeron 30mg/day, for 2 and 4 monhts respectively...!)...I am still waiting for the "big improvement" of t least waking up with dry palms (like my boyfrined does)!!..No yawns..no goosepumps and irrelevant chills. Remark: i did not have had any of these sympotoms before commencing therapy for pepression. I was clean from opiates for at least one full year back then when i started the anti-depressants. The only stuff i was using where benzodiazepines (flunitrazepam 2 to 8 mg/day because i wasn't seeing a therapist and did all by myself, togetha with my boy eho used a bit more 4 to 12 mg/day, which is too many hypnoyics for one person for one day!...and he is supposed to have completed all his medical studies years now!!!Though never got specialized or continued with it as his interest was how to find his every day sniffs..lucky we, we were neve ron the needle..but your interests in your life remain the same, to find your dope!!!...We were never proud, though, for learning through time, the "greatness" of our stupidity! Finally we had me losing 3 to 5 years "searching for smack" and not even studying and my boyfriend who is : a. a medicine connoiseur  b. 33 yrs old and  c. has been clean for 5 yrs in between 22 and 28...from his first detox -using U.R.O.D.**)


** U.R.O.D. = Ultra Rapid Opiate Detoxification, lasts a few days and has the result of a whole month without opiates as during those 2-3 days specialized doctors use naltrexone to clean up your brain's opioids receptors, meaning that you reach a state that your -absolutely required- endorphine excretion inside your brain starts earlier than if you went cold turkey or fighting withdrawal syptoms (symptoms) (ws) with a substitute like Buprenorphine or Methadone etc. Your neurons get well quicker and you don't need benzos to sleep. However it is not working -and nothing will ever work!!!- for persons that haven't decided that dope is no life at all.  

[worried878]

agree
U gotta want this to do this
No miracle cure...it has to come from within
Part of life...we dug this hole and put ourselves right slap in it...and it is only we who can dig ourselves out and live life again...and it isnt easy for most of us...but i do think some make it harder than it may have to be by resisting things that can help them get well..often it seems we ourselves are our own greatest enemy and we can actually sabatage our own efforts to get well

good luck to u  (:

[Stevo977]

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Opiate-withdrawal-and-switching-addictions/show/1459613  An interesting read for you concerning withdrawal and cross addiction.

Hey, forgive me if this is long. A year ago I couldn't formulate two thoughts together much less babble as much as I do these days. Since being drug and alcohol free, I haven't been able to shut the brain off and am constantly thinking. I read your post a couple of times and thought some before posting.

How long has it been since you have used? I can only assume you're in the early stages by the symptoms you've described. Are you just taking what your shrink prescribed? Anti-depressants will not be benificial if your currently using. Time and patience play a key role when dealing with withdrawals because they consume your every thought and feel endless. The symptoms you described are classic. They should subside soon, but recurr each and every relapse ( as I'm sure you know. we all have done it).

During my addiction ( heavy opiate use as well as benzos, and amphetimines. I also drank alcohol nearly every day for 16 years) I spent many sessions with many different psychiatrist who analyzed me till I was blue in the face. All I wanted was to be fixed by any means possible ( preferably medications and I must say I did many times try to score benzos to no avail sick addict lol ). I realized sobriety was my responsibility. There's not a pill out there that would have helped had I not wanted it. I am 100% for seeking therapy so don't jump to conclusions on my next statement as it's just my opinion and what I experienced. I have been told by many professionals as to why I drank and used. Most of it centered around physical abuse as a child, experiences overseas- Samolia, Kuwait, Iraq- or just using to forget past experiences and mistakes. Some of it may likely be true. I used cause I wanted to get high.

Addicts are intelligent people I tell you. Think of the drive and determination it takes to seek out drugs day after day. Think of the stories we tell others. We could use and manipulate anyone. There were many times when I went to different doctors that if a camera were present, they would've awarded me an oscar! Use that same concept when seeking sobriety and noone or nothing will stop you!

I don't know if you will ever determine if depression was present prior to using or not. I know alot of us have it after stopping for some time. I guess time will tell. I was prescribed just about every one there is. It wasn't till I got some clean time in that the depression went away. Today, I'm fine. Sleepless nights are plentiful early on. Just try and be careful. Addiction to sleep meds is common. Good luck and sorry for the long post!