My partner has been using heroin for about 4 years and was introduced to it by his sister. I had no ideal for over a year that they where shooting up together she would lie to cover him and he would lie to cover her. Never being around the drug or people that did it I fell for every lie and story that was given. It was only by accident that I discovered it due to the bills was not getting paid. The daily cash amount spent was about 200 a day, somehow he was able buy time but only for a short period thank goodness or otherwise I would have been bankrupt. Of course not only was I shocked and had to handle getting the creditors handled I had no ideal what to do but turn to his family since my was gone but that turned out to be non effective. The entire family I later learn has or had various addiction issues that is never discussed openly because of denial. He detox at home convincing me that all that was needed. I later learn much more was needed so when he relapse I checked him into a detox facility and paid the costs thinking that would work since it was a medical facility not know that much more in depth counseling was needed. He stayed cleaned for maybe a year then he started to hang around the sister again and full relapsed happen. This time though he stole or sold anything to get it since all other avenues had been cut off and he lost his own income. I thought of just leaving many times during this but I had hope that this guy could make it if he wanted to, the problem as I saw it he had no support system anywhere that matter. All of the friends it turned out was drug users and the family refused to help. Knowing how that can effect a person coming from a non functional family with a alcoholic father I found in myself the energy to try one more time.
Now comes the problem. He has done detox and is in a out patient rehab center for 16 weeks, so far so good until yesterday supposedly he found a 10 dollar bag and slipped again. I am being asked to understand the process but how can I? I made it very clear my position and if they did not get clean, stay clean, and get a job it was over. I see many changes this time but with all the lies and deception from heroin use when if ever can you believe them again? Can you ever trust them again? I've spoken to various counselors the last few months they all have different opinions. I've dealt with the guilt of feeling like the enabler. Being someone that does not use and can not really understand how you can let anything ruin your life like heroin does I need some advice. From a current user and ex do you really ever stop?
It can be done, but it is a long hard road. So sorry your having to go through this. It's horrible how us addicts hurt the ones we love. I would really recommend your partner look into Suboxone. It can be a life saver. Just remember you have to take care of you. Alanon is for the family of addicts and might help you deal with this. It's hard for non-addicts to understand us, so keep reading and posting. It will give you some insight into our addictive thinking. Hang in there.
I was a H user for 8 years, this month i have been clean for 1yr 5mnths. As allaboutmary said, it is a hard road! If he really wants to stop......he will!
I'm so sorry this is happening to you....you really do need to look after yourself. Even though he does need support around him, you still need to think about you!
You will be able to trust him again.....once we are away from that evil drug we begin to see our 'old' selves begin to re-appear and i for one enjoy it more than the high i got!
Keep posting and please hang in there!
My son was addicted to heroin for 4 years and has naw been clean for over 3. As lost and mary said he had to want to get clean. He had made several attempts in the 4 years and stayed clean for 3 months once. He went to rehab 30 days, then a transition house for 2-3 weeks until there was a room at the halfway house he checked into for almost 2 months. When he got out he got a job and an apartment in the area where the halfway house was. Its an hour and a half away from home and although he would know how to get drugs there he felt that he needed to not move back home. He comes home every-other weekend and stays with me and his kids who live near me come over. Heroin is a drug that gets a strong hold on you. It is hard to quit but can be done. Your friend sounds like he is fighting but even though they want to quit it's hard. Luckily my son was in his mid 20s when he started using and I already knew he was a person who would have never done the things that he did for drugs. You have to know the fine line between enabeling and helping. Good luck to you. Corey
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