Does it get better?

[Tireddddd]

I'm a 38 year old male who has given in to the opiate epidemic. I have had two lower fusions and 9 knee surgeries and two hand operations from racing motor cross. Ialthough I suffer everyday I think I finally got caught trying to get meds from a different provider. (This is painful) anyway I'm in so cal and now know I need to stop for me and my family so I'm going to my moms in Utah to detox. I'm so scared!!! I was once tough as nails and worked very hard. Now I'm a mess. Although for the last year I have been on 2-4 mg of subutex and today I was hurting bad and went urgent care and got a scrip for norco and soma. The pharmacy caught it. I know this is what I needed to wake up. But the detox has me so scared I cAnt think about it.

[VICourageous]

Hi..Look up Addiction in a more Scientific way and you will understand just how much these drugs affect our Brain..This is why it is called a Brain disease. Different drugs can hit different areas, but most opiates hit the same. The speedy drugs like crank or coke or so on hit another area as the benzo hit another area too. There are billions of wiring in our brain that get all twisted and tangled the longer we use..We knock down all the happy chems, hormones & transmitters and the energy chems as we do our natural pain relief too. This all is taken over by drugs and we now are thinking with a Drug Brain and not a Real Brain..Depression is a big one why people use, but it will also comes in and out as you are completely off drugs and are trying to balance. The Dopamine plays one of the Biggest roles. There is so much to it and I really enjoy picking up all I can..I have put some of this info in my Journal a couple of yrs ago and I have so much more, but have not felt like putting it in. The Scientific way will not cure you but it sure will help you understand, so we do not beat ourselves up so much. The detox is the easy part!!! It is working on staying clean that takes the cake..Always make sure you work some kind of aftercare and get all the Support you can..We can not do this alone as it is a disease and we need help. Be Good, Be Safe!
Bless

[Ouch3571]

One more thing:  Many times the opiates do change our moods: Lighten them and/or give us energy.  When I was taking the percs, that is what happened.  I was always busy busy busy and I didn't let things upset and/or anger me, but those are things we need in our life! We need feelings and emotions.  I eventually gained back natural energy and it feels good.  Even though I haven't had any narco since Friday, I have a lot of energy still and emotions.  I think if they are making you very depressed, you need to question yourself for many reasons: Is it because you are worried that when you start to run out, you can't get them filled?  Are the opiates having an effect on you in a different way? (depressed)  Are you literally forcing yourself to try and do things to keep busy?  There is so much involved with the process and even though you are trying to limit, it seems to not work many times.  Can you take say, 3 a day instead of 6?  I would try to reach them out as far as possible and see how that does.  

[Ouch3571]

I can respect what you are going through.  I'm the opposite though and haven't felt the depression or more pain, but feel for you all that do go through that!  For me, and it may help for you, since you are in genuine pain, maybe limit yourself to a very low extreme.  As I had said, I took the last one on Friday before I left work and yea, I detoxed over the weekend, but not that bad since I had tapered during the week.  BUT, I will say that because I ran out of the narco, when the pain hits in my arm from the bite, it's out of this world and Tylenol and ibuprofen does nothing, so I suffer and just grin and bear it.  I don't want to be prescribed the narco for life to be honest because I don't want to become hooked like I had with the Percs, but I have made a promise to myself when I do get the next script in two weeks, even though I am going to be prescribed 4 a day, I am only going to take them one of two ways: AS NEEDED and/or one in the morning and try to go until the next morning.  I am pretty strong willed, and that is what got me through the weekend.  I was amazed that I actually had an appetite!  I already had a cold, so that didn't matter, but slept more than normal BUT kept to my routines! I cleaned, cooked, did laundry, read, and watched football with my spouse.  I am pretty proud of myself and here I am at work feeling good!  For me, it's more about the pain when it hits and right now all the nerves and muscles are shot in my arm and when its cold out, HOLY ****----throb city in my arm, so that is why I will get the script, but know I am going to limit to one a day instead of 4.  Some may say that is an excuse, but hell, I quit the percs cold turkey and didn't get one craving in 2 years for any pain pills, then got my arm chomped on and have a reason, but know that I don't want them for life!  Keep the topics coming! You all help ppl a lot!

[NeverAgain127]

Wow, your story could be mine.   After a while of daily use, opiates begin to CAUSE pain.  

I was doing just what you both were...I'd ease back on my daily dose, go thru early w/d's, then take the full dose, and I was constantly having what I THOUGHT was "break-through pain."  It wasn't.   It was hyperalgesia, caused by the opiates.    

They really are terrible for our bodies, and end up causing more pain than what we took them for in the first place.

I have severe costochondritis and all kinds of back issues.  When I first got clean (I'm on day 57) the pain came ROARING back and I thought I was never going to be able to deal with it.  

BUT.  But, but, but:   It got better.   Yup, the pain I've been medicating for so many years is not as bad I thought it was.   I take Advil, Tyelonol, and well, quite frankly, I just dont' push myself as much as I used to.

I would work 10 hour days on the road (I'm a salesperson) w/no regard for my physical wellbeing.   I bought into all the crap that corporations sell to their "road warriors" about "no pain, no gain", "no guts, no glory" and "whoever dies with the most toys wins."   What a bunch of useless, profit-based BS.  

I worked with a guy who spent five years trying to close a HUGE deal.  He was putting in 80 hour work weeks, ignoring his family, and his health.  In the end, the deal fell through and he developed esophageal cancer.  He lived 9 months.   The guy was only 47.  

Sorry I know I'm getting off track a bit, but I actually do have a point....when we get off these pain killers, and begin to slowly feel our actual bodies again, we learn to listen to them.    And sometimes its okay NOT to do anything but rest, or relax, or just be good to ourselves.  

Our society has us programmed also, to believe that ANY pain must be medicated away.   I've decided that if I have to live with some pain in my body, I'd rather do that than be a numbed-out pile of mush on opiates.   Just my two cents.  

I'm not even 2 months clean yet, and I still can't trust the level of discomfort I'm feeling.  Just had a physical and my doctor said it will be a good 3-6 months before my pain receptors stop screaming at me for their meds (which is perceived by my body as pain.)

Hang in there...it gets better...for ALL of us!

Hugs,
-R.

[PrinterAP]

I wish you good luck and many prayers. Like you I have a real reason for taking pain med, my script has not changed in 6 years I've developed pain in areas I shouldnt. Muscles, joints all over body aches like an ongoing flu. I take Narco 10 mg dose. Not sure if the opiates are causing more pain or the result of opiates making me lazy loosing all my motivation. Lack of exercise and a sedate life I think is causing all kinds of physical pain more than I csn blame on narc0. But, if the Narco has such bad sude effects like depression so I don't even get out of bed the Narco has to go. I have know idea what real pain I have after 7 years of opiates. I do know that I try and stick to 6 a day but I give in and take 7 sometimes because they make me happier! So every month I have to wean down to 2,3,or 4 for about a week causing WD and increase in pain I would never have. I guess that means I can't control it and 6 a day is too much if it has caused me deep dark depression, lack of desire to do ANYTHING and never wanting to leave the house. I feel if we can't stick to what is prescribed on a daily bases then it's s problem and a sign of addiction. I'm weaning off finally because I'm so sick of this merry go round. I'll find out in a few months what pain I really do have and figure out other ways to deal. I know that a little less physical pain had caused huge pain in every other area of my life including my soul;( take care and I wish you all the best!

[Ouch3571]

Hey all! I was bombarded by a coyote back in August and was put on narco also.  I have abused them, but am tapering now.  I was taking about 4 a day (7.5) and sometimes 5, up until 3 days ago.  Yesterday and the day before I only took 3, and today so far only one.  I had one when I woke up at 4 and I'm now at work and it's 3:15 and haven't taken the 2nd one (last one left out of the script).  I know over the weekend I will detox a little, but said to myself during the week to do it now so as next week at work I won't detox as bad.  I still have the wicked pain in my arm (that is where I was malled by the coyote), but am dealing with the pain.  I think for myself (in the past I became hooked on Percs 10mgs and abused the hell out of them and that detox was HELL), taking Tylenol and Ibuprofen will help.  I am worried about the next two days because I like to stay busy and don't want to become irritable.  My spouse thinks I take as prescribed which I usually do, but then on days when the pain is unbearable in my arm, I took more, but do you all think that I tapered in the smart manner?  I know I'll have at least 3 days of detoxing, but the last time I ran out early (one month ago), the detox only was for about 4 days, then I felt my REAL energy.  I know I have a script waiting for me in two weeks because of the constant throbbing from the coyote bite, and I will not lie to you all: I want it, but don't.  Make sense? Just wish I could take it as prescribed ALL of the time instead of taking it as prescribed for a few days, then a couple more other days.  Is that normal?  UGH...Wish me luck over the weekend and FYI...all of the comments and help you have given ppl are amazing!

[shortysquid]

Go get detoxed. You might find that your pain isn't as bad as it seems now. Good Luck!

[NeverAgain127]

It DOES get better.  A lot better.  You are going to be okay; detoxing from opiates is not life threatening.    Read as much as you can about it, so you know what to expect. The first week is the worst.   Take a lot of hot baths and make sure you drink a ton of water and Gatorade.  

Are you doing this under a doctor's supervision?  That would be best, just in case you need something to help you be comfortable.   Hope your mom has the internet, so you can post here.

You'll be okay; trust me, if I can detox from 8 years of oxy, you can do this.   Just remember that whatever discomfort you are feeling (and yeah I'm not gonna lie to you, it sux bad sometimes) it is TEMPORARY.

Hope to hear from you soon.  You are on your way to getting your life back!

Hugs,

-R.

[spider6]

Grats in the big decision.  You're lucky you have somewhere to go like your mom's.  Have you got aftercare set up.....uber important!!!!  Please don't be scared of the detox....you'll get through fine.  Think of it as having a really bad flu. ...and who knows, you're only projecting the worse case scenario. It may not be that bad for you afterall.  Hardest part of it all will be after you're detox and dealing with that addict brain screaming for more. Prayers of hope and peace for you bud. Hugs