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Down hill, alone drug consumption (bad but high times) lol, help! x
Hi guys and girls.
Firstly, this is the first time I have felt to post somewhere like this, but I feel my addiction issues are slowly getting the better of me. I am a successful man aged 29 with a business that I own and a beautiful fiancé that I love more than anything, and since we met we have both liked to use recreational drugs at the weekends and love a good all-nighter with friends.
the problem is that once a week she has to do an all night shift at work leaving me at home alone for the whole evening/night.
For the last 5 or 6 sleep in shifts she's done I have got home from work bought a gram of coke and a stack of beers and had a great night on my own getting high, playing Xbox, reading articles on the Internet ect, but generally just enjoying the lovely, warm embrace of cocaine and booze(bad I know) The first time I did this I really enjoyed it, and it compelled me to do it again! But now every time she has a night shift I can't think of anything better to do than get high on my own:( I fully realise this is quite a problem but just can't help myself calling the man??! It's one big secret at the moment as I can happily function the next day without issue? But I feel terrible carrying this drug secret and need some tips (other than just don't do it) to help me stop this stupid, secret, self addictive, self deprecating behaviour? Please if there is anyone out there who has been in a similar situation and has overcome it I would love to know how you did it. P.S, I have the worst, no will power, impulsive attitude you can imagine! Lol.
Thanks
Firstly, this is the first time I have felt to post somewhere like this, but I feel my addiction issues are slowly getting the better of me. I am a successful man aged 29 with a business that I own and a beautiful fiancé that I love more than anything, and since we met we have both liked to use recreational drugs at the weekends and love a good all-nighter with friends.
the problem is that once a week she has to do an all night shift at work leaving me at home alone for the whole evening/night.
For the last 5 or 6 sleep in shifts she's done I have got home from work bought a gram of coke and a stack of beers and had a great night on my own getting high, playing Xbox, reading articles on the Internet ect, but generally just enjoying the lovely, warm embrace of cocaine and booze(bad I know) The first time I did this I really enjoyed it, and it compelled me to do it again! But now every time she has a night shift I can't think of anything better to do than get high on my own:( I fully realise this is quite a problem but just can't help myself calling the man??! It's one big secret at the moment as I can happily function the next day without issue? But I feel terrible carrying this drug secret and need some tips (other than just don't do it) to help me stop this stupid, secret, self addictive, self deprecating behaviour? Please if there is anyone out there who has been in a similar situation and has overcome it I would love to know how you did it. P.S, I have the worst, no will power, impulsive attitude you can imagine! Lol.
Thanks
Hi and Welcome to the MH Forum
Congratulations on recognizing that you have a problem. Many, many years ago, in the 70's and 80's cocaine was a drug that was easy to obtain and was reasonably pure. In many ways I was lucky...in some ways I wasn't. My best female friend and my best male friend both dealt cocaine so I never had to pay for it. So that isn't very lucky.
Where I WAS lucky is that I recognized that I liked the drug too much before I got addicted to it. One day I called my male friend, I was the only one at work, I asked him to bring me some. When he got there I had already recognized that I was beginning to have an issue so I told him no. I asked both of my friends to never use around me, to never offer me any and told them I would have to start avoiding people who didn't respect me enough to take no for an answer. Unfortunately this does not help you a lot.
Now my husband, back in HIS 20's, before I met him loved any drug he could snort or use with a needle including cocaine. He said the only way he was able to come off of it was to go into a detox center. Even 10 years after that he still would get tempted. He has always been very honest with me and he would come home and say so and so offered but I said no. I am so proud of him for choosing something beside the drugs.
That's what it boils down to. These drugs WILL ruin your life, your relationships, your livelihood etc. You have to decide what you want. A good life, a wonderful relationship and to laugh and to smile.
These drugs feel good right now but as you go further down the road of addiction it will not longer be recreational...it will be "I've got to have this" and you will be miserable. You will lie, steal....you name it...you will do it in order to get your fix.
That's all I really have to say to you. Is first you choose. Life or death? If you choose to live then let us know...we'll help you figure out what route you may need to go. Others more knowledgeable than I am will be able to tell you if you can detox on your own.
Read the postings relating to other people's drug choices and their detox. Read the postings of those who have been clean for a year or two. I lurked in this forum for a while before I decided to detox...and part of the reason for that is I read the misery the drug users were in...and I read how better life was for those who were clean.
I sincerely hope you will choose to get away from the drugs...and we will be here for you if you do. We are a family here...very supportive, no judgements...just support.
You will be in my prayers.
Congratulations on recognizing that you have a problem. Many, many years ago, in the 70's and 80's cocaine was a drug that was easy to obtain and was reasonably pure. In many ways I was lucky...in some ways I wasn't. My best female friend and my best male friend both dealt cocaine so I never had to pay for it. So that isn't very lucky.
Where I WAS lucky is that I recognized that I liked the drug too much before I got addicted to it. One day I called my male friend, I was the only one at work, I asked him to bring me some. When he got there I had already recognized that I was beginning to have an issue so I told him no. I asked both of my friends to never use around me, to never offer me any and told them I would have to start avoiding people who didn't respect me enough to take no for an answer. Unfortunately this does not help you a lot.
Now my husband, back in HIS 20's, before I met him loved any drug he could snort or use with a needle including cocaine. He said the only way he was able to come off of it was to go into a detox center. Even 10 years after that he still would get tempted. He has always been very honest with me and he would come home and say so and so offered but I said no. I am so proud of him for choosing something beside the drugs.
That's what it boils down to. These drugs WILL ruin your life, your relationships, your livelihood etc. You have to decide what you want. A good life, a wonderful relationship and to laugh and to smile.
These drugs feel good right now but as you go further down the road of addiction it will not longer be recreational...it will be "I've got to have this" and you will be miserable. You will lie, steal....you name it...you will do it in order to get your fix.
That's all I really have to say to you. Is first you choose. Life or death? If you choose to live then let us know...we'll help you figure out what route you may need to go. Others more knowledgeable than I am will be able to tell you if you can detox on your own.
Read the postings relating to other people's drug choices and their detox. Read the postings of those who have been clean for a year or two. I lurked in this forum for a while before I decided to detox...and part of the reason for that is I read the misery the drug users were in...and I read how better life was for those who were clean.
I sincerely hope you will choose to get away from the drugs...and we will be here for you if you do. We are a family here...very supportive, no judgements...just support.
You will be in my prayers.
Sorry, one last thing. If you choose to turn away from the drugs the very first thing you have to do is destroy and get rid of the drugs AND the booze. Destroy all the phone numbers of people you get the drugs from. Change your phone number if you have to. You have to get rid of all temptation okay?
I'm not saying any of this will be easy....but it will be easier here where you can get all the support you need (until after the detox...then you will need aftercare)
I'm not saying any of this will be easy....but it will be easier here where you can get all the support you need (until after the detox...then you will need aftercare)
Oh shoot...okay I'm sorry...but understand I'm only just over 45 days clean from opiates. My latest thing with the coming clean that I'm dealing with is my brain functions weird sometimes. This is normal because for over 10 years my brain was not functioning correctly ... now it has to relearn how to deal without the drugs...so sometimes I think apple and type banana...sometimes I think I put something down and I forgot to type it. It is a lifelong choice this getting clean.
You really, really need to be honest with your lovely fiance. Very few people can get off the drugs if their partner does not....and if she chooses to quit too that is something you can support each other with. If you are not honest with her I can pretty much guarantee that you will lose her at some point...if not because she gets angry over the dishonesty...you could lose her by choice...if you get clean and are happy and she doesn't get clean how long do you think you will be able to deal with it?
Anyway, I'm sorry to gab so much...hang on and check back periodically...people who have gotten off cocaine and/or alcohol will post and give you their advice and insight okay?
You really, really need to be honest with your lovely fiance. Very few people can get off the drugs if their partner does not....and if she chooses to quit too that is something you can support each other with. If you are not honest with her I can pretty much guarantee that you will lose her at some point...if not because she gets angry over the dishonesty...you could lose her by choice...if you get clean and are happy and she doesn't get clean how long do you think you will be able to deal with it?
Anyway, I'm sorry to gab so much...hang on and check back periodically...people who have gotten off cocaine and/or alcohol will post and give you their advice and insight okay?
Hi & Welcome,
I was where you are right now. I liked those "weekend parties" and for me, it became a MOnday party and A Wednesday party and of course the Thursday party. Then I went to rehab then I went to jail. I was stealing from my family everything that they had. After 3 treatment centers and 4 jail stints I finally got tired of the life and knew I would die if I continued. I asked for help and I got clean.
I don't know if this will happen to you but I do know that the "high" you get will soon turn into a :need". You have a chance to get clean now. I hope you take it.
I was where you are right now. I liked those "weekend parties" and for me, it became a MOnday party and A Wednesday party and of course the Thursday party. Then I went to rehab then I went to jail. I was stealing from my family everything that they had. After 3 treatment centers and 4 jail stints I finally got tired of the life and knew I would die if I continued. I asked for help and I got clean.
I don't know if this will happen to you but I do know that the "high" you get will soon turn into a :need". You have a chance to get clean now. I hope you take it.
Hi guys,
Firstly, thank you for your sincere responses, it makes for great brain food for me as to where I could end up.
The current problem tho seems to be 1) that I can afford the odd bag here n there no problem, 2) it's only a once every couple of weeks indulgence on my own 3) I feel like I work so hard that I kinda deserve it almost?!
It's not a case of me being a wild addict that can't go from one day or one week to the next? And I honestly don't think that will become the case, I love and appreciate what I have too much to go down that road, but when all the elements come together and I have the opportunity to go for it, I kinda feel why not indulge a little?!
Please don't hear me wrong, I know this is not a good thing and is dangerous and detrimental to my happy life, but I can't help but feel that I only live one life on this earth and why not indulge in moderation with what ever makes you happy! I know it's a confusing state of mind and slightly contradictory to my past post! But is it not possible to have a happy, for filling life with both stimulant love and pure natural love and friendship? I am going off on a tangent slightly but I'm interested in other points of view
Firstly, thank you for your sincere responses, it makes for great brain food for me as to where I could end up.
The current problem tho seems to be 1) that I can afford the odd bag here n there no problem, 2) it's only a once every couple of weeks indulgence on my own 3) I feel like I work so hard that I kinda deserve it almost?!
It's not a case of me being a wild addict that can't go from one day or one week to the next? And I honestly don't think that will become the case, I love and appreciate what I have too much to go down that road, but when all the elements come together and I have the opportunity to go for it, I kinda feel why not indulge a little?!
Please don't hear me wrong, I know this is not a good thing and is dangerous and detrimental to my happy life, but I can't help but feel that I only live one life on this earth and why not indulge in moderation with what ever makes you happy! I know it's a confusing state of mind and slightly contradictory to my past post! But is it not possible to have a happy, for filling life with both stimulant love and pure natural love and friendship? I am going off on a tangent slightly but I'm interested in other points of view
Oh boy...all I can say is that probably EVERY single addict has spoken those exact words you posted above. I can guarantee anyone who knows addiction is cringing reading that post. And here's why hon...
Addiction is ALWAYS progressive. Sure, there are some people who can manage to "indulge" recreationally and if never goes any further, but when there are red flags that it's already progressing, you must stand up and take notice.
The red flag for you is that you're already altering when and how you use. You started out using "socially"....to using alone...there's nothing "social" about that obviously. So, you've already started doing things (in the name of "fun" and getting high) that are already out of character for you. That's the addiction game.
You can afford it....NOW. You haven't lost anything because of your use....YET. Find a more healthy "reward" for working so hard. Cocaine is a dangerous dangerous drug, it can and will cause very very serious, if not fatal medical problems. That doesn't sound very "rewarding" to me. You can end up with holes in your nasal septum and chronic severe sinus problems, you can develop hypertension that will be chronic and hard to treat. The more serious stuff? Cardiac arrests, stroke, brain bleeds. Your every few week "alone party" will turn into once a week, and eventually you'll find yourself lying, finding ways to go party by yourself. Again, that's the addiction progression. You say "no no, that's not me". Neither was partying alone not so long ago. And look how quickly you determined that you LOVED the solo party, you couldn't wait to do it again. Another big ole red flag.
You have an advantage right now over a lot of addicts....in that you've started figuring out that you're on a slippery slope NOW, not when you're broke, have lost your partner, your home, your career, your health, or God forbid, your freedom or your life. The smartest thing you could EVER do is get yourself help NOW, so you don't go down that road....the chances that you WILL are very very high.
You've come to the right place...the folks here are amazing. Ask questions, keep an open mind, and go from there.
Addiction is ALWAYS progressive. Sure, there are some people who can manage to "indulge" recreationally and if never goes any further, but when there are red flags that it's already progressing, you must stand up and take notice.
The red flag for you is that you're already altering when and how you use. You started out using "socially"....to using alone...there's nothing "social" about that obviously. So, you've already started doing things (in the name of "fun" and getting high) that are already out of character for you. That's the addiction game.
You can afford it....NOW. You haven't lost anything because of your use....YET. Find a more healthy "reward" for working so hard. Cocaine is a dangerous dangerous drug, it can and will cause very very serious, if not fatal medical problems. That doesn't sound very "rewarding" to me. You can end up with holes in your nasal septum and chronic severe sinus problems, you can develop hypertension that will be chronic and hard to treat. The more serious stuff? Cardiac arrests, stroke, brain bleeds. Your every few week "alone party" will turn into once a week, and eventually you'll find yourself lying, finding ways to go party by yourself. Again, that's the addiction progression. You say "no no, that's not me". Neither was partying alone not so long ago. And look how quickly you determined that you LOVED the solo party, you couldn't wait to do it again. Another big ole red flag.
You have an advantage right now over a lot of addicts....in that you've started figuring out that you're on a slippery slope NOW, not when you're broke, have lost your partner, your home, your career, your health, or God forbid, your freedom or your life. The smartest thing you could EVER do is get yourself help NOW, so you don't go down that road....the chances that you WILL are very very high.
You've come to the right place...the folks here are amazing. Ask questions, keep an open mind, and go from there.
I think the biggest thing for you is carrying that guilt around because you are keeping it a secret from your fiance.
our secrets make us sick in so many ways. so my advice would be to tell your gf. if she asks you not to indulge without her, then respect her wishes,
our secrets make us sick in so many ways. so my advice would be to tell your gf. if she asks you not to indulge without her, then respect her wishes,
WOW..I have to be honest..you are scaring me. How many times I spoke those exact words. I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED to get high. Trust me honey, if they came up with a cure for the disease of addiction and I was able to use again? I would be the first person on line for that stuff. But it will not happen and I worked way too hard to get where I am today. My life is manageable and I don't need a drug to make me feel good. I am sincerely scared for you. You are no different then everyone on this forum and if you read some of the other posts you will see. You need to get honest with your lady and you both need to work on loving life without drugs. I really hope this happens for you.
Wow, ok, I know you have a very strong point. I understand the predicament I'm currently in and do see it could go one way or the other?! I do know you are right and I thank you for your response.
Problem is I bloody love a little nights escapism and wonder what the hell I would replace it with! But that's my problem to address!
I will start from now (or from the day before yesterday as that's the last time I used) and make a strong stand. I will set a goal of three weeks from now until the next indulgent (social) evening. And then extend it a week at a time from there, so it's 3, 4, 5, 6 weeks ect between uses, then eventual aim of no uses at all. Would you think this a worthy game plan,? As I feel the mental burden of saying never again may just force me into a desperate fix?
Problem is I bloody love a little nights escapism and wonder what the hell I would replace it with! But that's my problem to address!
I will start from now (or from the day before yesterday as that's the last time I used) and make a strong stand. I will set a goal of three weeks from now until the next indulgent (social) evening. And then extend it a week at a time from there, so it's 3, 4, 5, 6 weeks ect between uses, then eventual aim of no uses at all. Would you think this a worthy game plan,? As I feel the mental burden of saying never again may just force me into a desperate fix?
Ok **** I have just thought that this is all pretty Internet searchable right?! I have told my fiancé in the past of my problems, but I don't think she knows quite how prevalent they are, and the last thing I would want is for her to find out that I have spoken to you guys before her?! How can I make this feel invisible or delete it?! Slightly worried now!
It's TOUGH to say goodbye....that's one of the biggest things people on here struggle with...even the people who ARE seeing negative consequences of their addiction...they still "love it" so much.
Cocaine does not need to be tapered. I would never recommend anyone continuing to use a drug that is a crap shoot from using it one time to the next.
I would recommend seeking some addiction treatment, and start working through those urges and feelings, and start putting a plan in place....fun hobbies you can pick up...start a bucket list, etc. So, instead of planning the next "x" amount of times you'll use before you stop...why not start planning the FIRST thing you'll do in place of using?
Also, this may sound silly or corny...but a lot of people recommend writing a goodbye letter to their drug of choice. It's truly like a romantic relationship, and you will grieve it. You have to find ways to get past that. I'm not saying it will be easy either....but honestly, planning to taper yourself off is your addiction talking....your mind wants you to get those last few "hurrahs". Countless people have ended up in very bad spots doing that.....for some it literally DOES end up being their LAST hurrah! There's a million GOOD reasons not to ever use again...and there's only ONE bad one....because you want to.
I'm glad you're keeping an open mind....hang in there.
Cocaine does not need to be tapered. I would never recommend anyone continuing to use a drug that is a crap shoot from using it one time to the next.
I would recommend seeking some addiction treatment, and start working through those urges and feelings, and start putting a plan in place....fun hobbies you can pick up...start a bucket list, etc. So, instead of planning the next "x" amount of times you'll use before you stop...why not start planning the FIRST thing you'll do in place of using?
Also, this may sound silly or corny...but a lot of people recommend writing a goodbye letter to their drug of choice. It's truly like a romantic relationship, and you will grieve it. You have to find ways to get past that. I'm not saying it will be easy either....but honestly, planning to taper yourself off is your addiction talking....your mind wants you to get those last few "hurrahs". Countless people have ended up in very bad spots doing that.....for some it literally DOES end up being their LAST hurrah! There's a million GOOD reasons not to ever use again...and there's only ONE bad one....because you want to.
I'm glad you're keeping an open mind....hang in there.
Unless you use the same internet "handle" that she's aware of on other sites, the only way she's going to find it is if she finds it on your pc or phone....that's easy to manage.
If you DID use a common id, the mods will allow you to change it.
http://www.medhelp.org/contactus.htm
Honestly....she's going to have to find out soon enough. If you REALLY want to take this seriously...that's going to HAVE to be one of your first steps...both for support AND because she's your main "partying" friend.
If you DID use a common id, the mods will allow you to change it.
http://www.medhelp.org/contactus.htm
Honestly....she's going to have to find out soon enough. If you REALLY want to take this seriously...that's going to HAVE to be one of your first steps...both for support AND because she's your main "partying" friend.
Also, I doubt she would be mad anyway...if anything, she should be proud of you that you were concerned enough to reach out for help. It's not like we know you.
How do you think SHE is going to feel about you stopping? Will she be willing to stop as well?
How do you think SHE is going to feel about you stopping? Will she be willing to stop as well?
Thank you nursegirl. I know your right, it just takes hearing it from someone else u know. Just for the record tho, I do have lots of hobbies, I don't want you guys thinking I'm a down n out? I play squash, tennis, golf, I read a lot, do yoga, I go to a meditation class one a week I have a full happy life, it's just this constant jackal n hide drug hobby that brings me into disrepute. Hence why it had to go. So with regard to at least making this feed (lifeline) anonymous, what can I do? I would like all your help to get through this but I also don't want anyone to recognise me and know my secret!
That doesn't sound like a worth game plan....it just sounds like a way for you to put off quitting. Just have to just quit....just like I had to destroy my pills in the bottle and throw them away...no "one last buzz" no "I'll start next week". Please don't take this wrong...I'm not trying to be mean...I care...I want you and your loved one to have a wonderful life...and right now I foresee a different future for you.
Ok great I'll look at that as I've used the same name here as my Instagram? (Silly I know) but also yes, she wants to stop but in all seriousness it's me suggesting it when were a little drunk that keeps the habit progressing between us. I'm going to make a positive stand from here. This is a turning point and I can't thank you all enough. I'll keep you posted. (But will change my username) again, thank you.
Do you know other addicts that would come on here, post and recognize you? Why would your lady come on here? You sound paranoid honey.
Wow! You brought some of us out from behind the screen here that have been on for awhile.
YES Addiction is a Disease. You should look it up in a more Scientific way. You will understand that it has nothing to do with Willpower!
I was in your shoes too! Back in the later 60s until 2 yrs ago this month.
I want to tell you that the longer you use the harder it is for the Brain Hormones/Chems to balance back.
PLUS One day you are Young and the next day you are WAY Older and you did not even get to Age Gracefully. Yep at age 14 until 56 I was a off & on user of it all..NOW if I could take it back I sure would. I cannot Stress enough how it will take everything away from you and maybe even your Life. I do not mean Material things right now..I mean your Spirit, your Fun Happy Personality, your Positiveness about Life. SURE Right now it is so much fun but there is a price to pay. It takes you down and it is so hard to get it back.
Trust some of us that have over a year or even at 2 years or more is what it can take for the brain to balance back if it ever balances back right at all!!!
PLEASE GET SOME SUPPORT!! Study all you can about Addiction. It does run deep!
I do wish you all the best that Life can give you!
Bless
YES Addiction is a Disease. You should look it up in a more Scientific way. You will understand that it has nothing to do with Willpower!
I was in your shoes too! Back in the later 60s until 2 yrs ago this month.
I want to tell you that the longer you use the harder it is for the Brain Hormones/Chems to balance back.
PLUS One day you are Young and the next day you are WAY Older and you did not even get to Age Gracefully. Yep at age 14 until 56 I was a off & on user of it all..NOW if I could take it back I sure would. I cannot Stress enough how it will take everything away from you and maybe even your Life. I do not mean Material things right now..I mean your Spirit, your Fun Happy Personality, your Positiveness about Life. SURE Right now it is so much fun but there is a price to pay. It takes you down and it is so hard to get it back.
Trust some of us that have over a year or even at 2 years or more is what it can take for the brain to balance back if it ever balances back right at all!!!
PLEASE GET SOME SUPPORT!! Study all you can about Addiction. It does run deep!
I do wish you all the best that Life can give you!
Bless
Ok you need to cut the chase and tell the woman you love more then anything.( just quoting you) and tell her you think you have a addition cuz you like to treat yourself to one night of partying alone by yourself because you've earn it! And because partying with her is not enough.you that is a start. I dont want too sound like a a$$hole but that's how it starts,that's how the addition starts.So my friend be good too your girlfriend and yourself and get off the train you are getting on and please do the right thing stop the addition now!!!! Good luck my friend..
Thankyou all for your supportive words and sentiment. I have taken it on board and I know it's time to act.
I will keep u all posted with my slow, steady, arduous recovery. Peace.
I will keep u all posted with my slow, steady, arduous recovery. Peace.
Good Luck and Do Not try to do it alone..This is a WE thing not a ME thing. The ME thing gets us in deep shiiit every time.
Try hitting a meeting. You just might find out you are not alone.
Bless
Try hitting a meeting. You just might find out you are not alone.
Bless
Hey drugsreality2507 and Welcome-
I just wanted to add in my two cents here about cocaine and alcohol specifically. A decade ago I was a fairly successful actress who hung out with a bunch of other successful actors, directors, and film industry people. Booze and coke were a BIG part of the scene. I couldn't go to a party without someone offering me a big old line. I indulged once or twice only to discover that i HATED the feeling of being high (I am not good with stimulants) So after a couple of rough hangovers and feeling suicidally depressed about what I was doing to my body, I stopped. I did however continue to hang with that crowd because they were my peers. Please note that these were all extremely intelligent, highly successful people- some of them lawyers, some of them agents and business owners, and a lot of famous actors.
Over the period of a year or so I lost two of my dear friends to cocaine and ecstasy overdoses. I remember the saddest funeral I ever attended of a 28 year old man who was a lawyer I had dated briefly before I realized how deep into the party scene he was. There were over 800 people packed into the memorial home absolutely keening with grief. A bunch of my friends went out that night to celebrate his life.
They celebrated with alcohol and tons of cocaine and ecstasy.
That was when I walked away entirely. Even from one of my closest girlfriends who I knew was in deep. I confronted her once about her problem but she laughed me off saying that she was just having fun.
Fast forward three years- she contacted me- she'd been living on the other side of the country and partying hard. She'd lost her job, her home, her credibility and all of her friends. She'd lied and stole from so many people that she'd been ostracized. She'd had a near overdose on coke and booze and her family had flown out to intervene.
She went to rehab and is now a long standing member of NA.
She has a beautiful daughter and a very successful career as a fashion stylist in the entertainment industry. She is beautiful, strong, and compassionate. She is also the first person I called when I realized I had gone from using my pain medication to treat my pain, to using my pain medication to numb the trauma of my life at the time.
I have many other stories of perfectly wonderful and successful people whose lives have been destroyed by addiction. Some of them have made it out the other side by the skin of their teeth and are living a life of recovery. Some of them are still using and getting sicker every day. Many of them are dead.
Please consider this. You are playing with fire and you WILL get burned. There is a reason you ended up on our forum today and a reason why so many of us are reaching out to you. We recognize you as a member of our tribe of addicts.
Addiction is non-discriminatory. It does not care about age or race or socio-economic background. It seeks to destroy and is ALWAYS successful if not arrested.
I wish you the best Craig. You've been given lots of info here. We are all here to support you.
Peace
Lu
I just wanted to add in my two cents here about cocaine and alcohol specifically. A decade ago I was a fairly successful actress who hung out with a bunch of other successful actors, directors, and film industry people. Booze and coke were a BIG part of the scene. I couldn't go to a party without someone offering me a big old line. I indulged once or twice only to discover that i HATED the feeling of being high (I am not good with stimulants) So after a couple of rough hangovers and feeling suicidally depressed about what I was doing to my body, I stopped. I did however continue to hang with that crowd because they were my peers. Please note that these were all extremely intelligent, highly successful people- some of them lawyers, some of them agents and business owners, and a lot of famous actors.
Over the period of a year or so I lost two of my dear friends to cocaine and ecstasy overdoses. I remember the saddest funeral I ever attended of a 28 year old man who was a lawyer I had dated briefly before I realized how deep into the party scene he was. There were over 800 people packed into the memorial home absolutely keening with grief. A bunch of my friends went out that night to celebrate his life.
They celebrated with alcohol and tons of cocaine and ecstasy.
That was when I walked away entirely. Even from one of my closest girlfriends who I knew was in deep. I confronted her once about her problem but she laughed me off saying that she was just having fun.
Fast forward three years- she contacted me- she'd been living on the other side of the country and partying hard. She'd lost her job, her home, her credibility and all of her friends. She'd lied and stole from so many people that she'd been ostracized. She'd had a near overdose on coke and booze and her family had flown out to intervene.
She went to rehab and is now a long standing member of NA.
She has a beautiful daughter and a very successful career as a fashion stylist in the entertainment industry. She is beautiful, strong, and compassionate. She is also the first person I called when I realized I had gone from using my pain medication to treat my pain, to using my pain medication to numb the trauma of my life at the time.
I have many other stories of perfectly wonderful and successful people whose lives have been destroyed by addiction. Some of them have made it out the other side by the skin of their teeth and are living a life of recovery. Some of them are still using and getting sicker every day. Many of them are dead.
Please consider this. You are playing with fire and you WILL get burned. There is a reason you ended up on our forum today and a reason why so many of us are reaching out to you. We recognize you as a member of our tribe of addicts.
Addiction is non-discriminatory. It does not care about age or race or socio-economic background. It seeks to destroy and is ALWAYS successful if not arrested.
I wish you the best Craig. You've been given lots of info here. We are all here to support you.
Peace
Lu
I had to talk to my hubby before I gave you the following information because it IS his story and I wouldn't bandy it all about without his permission.
As said earlier, he would shoot or snort just about anything. Earlier postings told you what could happen to you healthwise in the future. I'm going to tell you exactly what happened to my hubby.
He was married once before me. She was into the drugs also. They had 3 children and were so dysfunctional it isn't even funny. Fast forward through the divorce and single drug years. Then he met me, liked me and wanted to date me. At that time all I did was have a drink occasionally. Since I grew up with a violent alcoholic I told him that he had to make a decision...me or the drugs. Luckily he chose me and life....unfortunately most of the damage has been done.
This is what he has gone through medically over the last 10 years...most of it points back to his heavy drug usage:
10 years ago he had a liver transplant...he almost died that time.
2-1/2 years ago he had open-heart surgery (related to the drug he has to take to suppress his immune system
1 year ago another open heart surgery
11 months ago lung surgery to remove a lobe due to cancer
All of these things are related to the damage he did to his body.
He also has other issues: Arthritis...degenerative and RA, diabetes, and COPD.
This is what you may be looking forward to. My hubby started out recreationally too. He also had the same attitude as you. Well I work hard, I'm successful...don't I deserve a little fun?
Do you want to risk a future like this? I hope not because we have both been through hell...especially during the last year...months of which my hubby was so confused he didn't know if he had his pants on, he didn't know anything to be frank. He still has memory issues.
He is now on disability which he hates....he had to give up the career he loved. He is severely depressed though not as bad as he was. He's finally learning to live the life he has instead of living like he's dead already.
For you, for your family and for the woman you love you need, in this one instance, look ahead instead of the one day at a time rule we usually follow. You are still young enough to get out while you are ahead.
The damage my hubby sustain was done by the time he was 31 years old.
You are in my prayers. I pray you do the right thing.
Hugz
As said earlier, he would shoot or snort just about anything. Earlier postings told you what could happen to you healthwise in the future. I'm going to tell you exactly what happened to my hubby.
He was married once before me. She was into the drugs also. They had 3 children and were so dysfunctional it isn't even funny. Fast forward through the divorce and single drug years. Then he met me, liked me and wanted to date me. At that time all I did was have a drink occasionally. Since I grew up with a violent alcoholic I told him that he had to make a decision...me or the drugs. Luckily he chose me and life....unfortunately most of the damage has been done.
This is what he has gone through medically over the last 10 years...most of it points back to his heavy drug usage:
10 years ago he had a liver transplant...he almost died that time.
2-1/2 years ago he had open-heart surgery (related to the drug he has to take to suppress his immune system
1 year ago another open heart surgery
11 months ago lung surgery to remove a lobe due to cancer
All of these things are related to the damage he did to his body.
He also has other issues: Arthritis...degenerative and RA, diabetes, and COPD.
This is what you may be looking forward to. My hubby started out recreationally too. He also had the same attitude as you. Well I work hard, I'm successful...don't I deserve a little fun?
Do you want to risk a future like this? I hope not because we have both been through hell...especially during the last year...months of which my hubby was so confused he didn't know if he had his pants on, he didn't know anything to be frank. He still has memory issues.
He is now on disability which he hates....he had to give up the career he loved. He is severely depressed though not as bad as he was. He's finally learning to live the life he has instead of living like he's dead already.
For you, for your family and for the woman you love you need, in this one instance, look ahead instead of the one day at a time rule we usually follow. You are still young enough to get out while you are ahead.
The damage my hubby sustain was done by the time he was 31 years old.
You are in my prayers. I pray you do the right thing.
Hugz
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