have had thoughts to use to take pain away

[ILoveLukey]

Too much pain .  They say the Lord never gives you more than you can handle so ok how much more is he planning on for me?  So many of you know me and what I have been going thru the past 3 months and that my sisters son just comitted suicide.  Had to go thru my sis's son's funeral last night. Totalally horrible. Hundreds of people came. Standing room only. She was so distraught I took her to doc to get Xanax. I took one myself to get thru the service.His fiance was staying here with sis and sis found heroin and a needle in her belongings. OMG. what a can of worms that opened up now. My sis's other son thinks she had something to do with the suicide because the shotgun was standing up , leaning on the guardrail and he was down in the ditch with a shotgun wound to his chest.  Will it never end.  I guess I should have put this on the social forum but I don't go there............just need some more prayers here. Thanks MEd Help.

[joann1975]

I am no angel...I appreciate the comment though! Get some sleep honey!

[ILoveLukey]

You are an angel. Thanks sooooooo much for being a wonderful person. I gotta go now...........emotionally exhausted.........Thank you so much for the support. NIte to all.

[joann1975]

First thing....you are not being selfish... we are a "family" here for support! I can already tell how strong you are and I am sure the Lord knows it as well. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.....and your family as well. Please post all you want or PM if you want to!
Love & Prayers,
JoAnn

[ILoveLukey]

Thank you  Kathy and Worried. and bandnmom................you guys are incredible.  U have hearts of solid gold.....Love you for being here for me..........gonna try to get some sleep now..........nite you awesome people.

[lady67]

Lukey,

I know you are going through alot right now, but try your best not to use.  It will just prolong your recovery.  I will definately be praying for you and your family.

God Bless
Susan

[bandnmom]

Its true the saying...god only gives u what u can handle but im not sure sometimes how strong he really thinks we are. You just somehow pull the strenghth from somewhere and get threw it. And you will. You will be surprised at how strong you really can be. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and they will continue to be.
Please dont think you are being selfish either. You are so far from that.
Stay strong and please take care of yourself. if you need anything please dont hesitate to ask.

[worried878]

it doesnt seem like it could get much worse now does it?   but i guess it could...or it may get better...i think the odds for u are on the getting better just as only a certain amount of bad things are allowed to happen in a certain time period!    but i have been surprised before and when it rains it pours....but the odds r in ur favor

I am doing well...off to bed...lets hang...k?

[cathy5841]

lukey, i am so sorry you and your family are dealing with so much.  you will definately be in my prayers, as will your family.  but, please dont even think of using.  you will open up a whole can of guilt you dont wanna have to deal with.  you can and will gt through this.  lean on us here when you cant go anymore.  we are here and love ya.  

[ILoveLukey]

How can it get any  worse? I am at wits end.

[ILoveLukey]

thanks. Love ya for your caring. Don't want to be selfish...........how are you doing hon?

[worried878]

sweetie...i am glad u posted here as no one would respond too much there...and i would not have seen it....i do wish u relief from all of this turmoil   and ur sis too....sometimes life just does not seem fair and i can not see the point of why some things happen....my prayers are with u and u hold on...k?