I found this forum and am very pleased to see all the information and support.
I've been Rx'd fentanyl (50mcg's) and Hydrocodone (10/500's) for a serious back/spinal injury. I use the patches one every 2 days, as directed. They never lasted the 72 hours, so they dr's said to put one on every second day. That's where I am.
Unfortunately they aren't lasting the 48 hrs and I'm getting the W/D symptoms on day 2. The hydro's resolve that, at least temporarily.
I'm tired though, I'm tired of the meds and I'm really scared to see how addicted I've become. I didn't realize it, went cold turkey and got HORRIBLY sick..so I went back on them.
I WANT OFF!! I don't really have a strong characther, have very bad depression and VERY bad anxiety, so without it I get horribly panicy, something I've been hospitalized for in the past.
Went to my psych today who is luckily one of the ones locally who deals with Suboxone.
He says I have to totally get ALL the opiates out of my system for it to work, but that is my nightmare, because that is when the nerves tick up, the depression and bad thoughts tick up and the real sickness sets in. I am eager to try but am VERY scared to go through withdrawl, relapse and the whole works. Just the 3rd day was horrible, I am not strong enough to do that again.
I don't know why I'm posting, I guess I'm looking for some advice and praying that this Suboxone will keep me sane and well and pick up where my mental and physical strenght leaves off.
Sorry for all the words, I just like having a place to talk where people understand.
At first I was beyond happy to have relief from the pain. Then I was just okay with the meds. Then I started to think about that they weren't working and I wanted stronger for help. Then it became thinking about the meds too much (when my appt. is, when I put on another patch, if they'll up the dosage, if it'll help, how addicted I was etc...)
Now though I just want to be clean and strong, I just am scared sh!tless that I don' have it in me.
Btw, just some more info, the psych today gave me PROVIGIL to help with my lethargy on the 2nd day (the day I don't put on the patch).
He also gave me Ambien for the sleepless nights (AMBIEN CR 12.5).
The day I put on the patch I feel GREAT!!! SO much energy, SO much motivation, SO much optimism. Then comes Day 2 and I just want it to end so I can wake up and put another one on.
I too suffered an accident at the doctors hands that changed my life. Lost my career, almost my leg, my 20 acre ranch. My plymouth prowler, and all my cars really, but loved the prowler the most =D It was very hard on me and my family. I wouldnt have held it against my wife if she left me, but she didnt thank god. Even though her days of spending any amount she wanted was over, and my ability to have fun with my family was altered forever.
I too went for the pain meds, all legal of course, and like you it became a chasing game. More More More.........just to keep the pain down. I am now 16 days free from the meds. It was pure hell for about a week or so. Then, everything changed. The pain was there worse than ever, but my mind was clear! More than ever!! Smells were better, and tastes were different. I decided to stop smoking also because the smell was terrible!
Believe me, ask your doctor to help you. There is an easier way than cold turkey, and that is the way you should take if you cant handle just stopping cold. Keep posting on this forum as everyone will stand with you no matter what, or how your doing.
I just know myself, too well, and know how f'ing weak I am in many ways.
I can't even remember my life before all this. The catch is that I am taking WHAT DOCTORS TOLD ME TO TAKE and now I feel horrible about myself being addicted to such strong drugs.
My girlfriend of 6 years is very supportive and I finally told her that I was really pretty dependant on them and was going to work my way off. I don't think she understands how hard it's going to be.
What worries me the most is going through it, I really don't know if I can do the symptoms again. I did it once and it was the worst..and that was only 3 days after taking my last patch. They are supposed to last that long!!!
Question for you about AMBIEN though. He gave me CR 12.5's today. I took a regular 10 once and it fvcked me up sooooo bad, like shrooms actually. Will the 12.5 do that or not b/c it's slower acting? Also, I'm on the Fent now and took a PROVIGIL mid day, is that a bad mix?
Yeah, I appreciate it. I don't really know if the pain will be so bad though without the meds that it's worth going of them and going through all this. I just don't know. I just am in a **** place and it's really bothering me.
You are stronger than you think..like rsd said..go for it. If u can make it 3 days do u think u can hold on for a few more fter that; the worst of w/d would be over after that. I was scripted fentanyl 100 mcgs after surgery a year ago. I used maybe 5 patches and it was a difficult w/d; but I did come off of them. I didnt know what they really were at the time so I was kind of ignorant to what exactly I was going thru but I remember have alot of anxiety after I opped using them. But, I didnt die. Like rsd said...u wont die; go for it.
I have been tapering off fentanyl patches for quite some time. Unless a person has been on them, there is no way they can understand what they do. They change your life as you know it. They are dangerous if you get too warm, shower or bathe in water too warm, push against the patch accidently and have the fantanyl in the patch release the full amount into your system at once. Can't prep the area you're going to put the patch on. Can't remove adhesive marks with anything. The absolute only thing you can use is baby oil.
I started on 100mcg. After a year when I wanted off of them my family Dr. started a taper for me. It's very slow. Goind down to 75mcn from 100 wasn't to bad. Going from 75mcg to 50 put me into w/d for a while. My Dr. waits until I am stable on a dose before she cuts me back any further. I went from 50mcg to wearing a 25mcg plus a 12mcg patch together. I will have to stay here until three months is up. The w/d got down right mean this time.
I passed up a chance to take methadone and take the patches off right now. In three weeks, at the longest, I would be off the methadone. I was afraid since I have a an addictive personality. My next cut will be to the 25mcg without the 12. The to the 12mcg for three months and off, but she will give me the fentanly suckers.
I wish you luck and I will pray for you. Keep posting.
I wouldnt get tooooo worked up bro. Long as your on doc's orders your ok. I went to my new doc and told him I didnt want anymore screw ups like doc's dropping me, or scripts taking a few days to get, or insurance not covering for 2 weeks, and always putting me in w/d's.
Just tired of being scared of what next. I was also scared to go cold turkey, but, what the hell lol. Always lookin for a thrill, thought a wild ride it is gonna be! Man was it ever!
Pure hell for a week or so. But I didnt die, and now im all over it accept for the flu LOL. Can you believe it! The damn flu, and it feels just w/d's!
Im glad I went for it, and I wasnt addicted as much as I was dependent on them for the pain. Still had w/d's though. Now the pain is an issue still, and was on the meds. Just no more drug merry go round.
Hang in there, talk to your doc about your fears, and dont get to worked up over all of it. Really sounds like you need sopme break through meds to keep your pain under the patch. Maybe the IR's are not lasting long enough, as they are IR = instant release. Maybe norco would work better????
I was on 150 - 180 mg of ms contin, and 8 - 10 norco's 10/325 a day. I wanted the patch but my doc said I could OD to easy on it. He would know cause he knows me soooo well lol. I was on ativan also, took 1.0mg 3 times a day. Took lots of other stuff too like, Topamax for nerve pains. All the different feel good pills like remron, paxil etc...........
You can call any pharmacy and they will tell you though, and you can stay anonomous. I really didnt want to go cold turkey, but didnt have a choice, as my doc quit taking my insurance. He decided to do only ppo's. What a bummer!
Hope you can get oiff the merry go round, I feel soooo much better, but it wasnt a walk in the park that is for sure. Here is my website if your interested in reading my story.
Hope you have get the info you need, it is cool that your GF is hangin in there with ya. Makes a world of difference when you got someone there with you.
Why does everyone want to get off something that kills their pain? You are not an addict if the drug you are on is designed and prescribed to improve your quality of life. That is a ridiculous way to look at it. I have been on Fentanyl for 2 years now in the UK and if I wasn't I would have to stand in the corner and scream with the agony of my collapsed spine. On fentanyl I go to work and have a full life even though I get alot of break through pain. Of course it is not ideal and yes of course I must be addicted but for goodness sake it seems to me you all feel guilty for taking something that helps you. I would love to have no pain without drugs but the fact is I cannot and if I do not want to spend the rest of my life shivering in a corner in agony 24/7 then opiates it is.
what sucks is when you are on the patches and your insurance is lost. I now have to buy them on the streets and on the verge of going bankrupt. I am so depressed. THis addiction is killing me. I use to be so beautiful and happy. Now, when I am down to one patch or pill I am a miserable animal like a scared cat. I dont even care about my back pain anymore. I just want off of the addiction but how with no insurance?? I cant take off 30 day and go into detox I am a single mom and have bills, rent car kids all to take care of. What do I do??
I have been on the fentanyl patch for almost four years along with gabapentin and norco. I go to a pain mgmt. clinic where you rarely see the same Dr. or physician's assistant at each appointment. I was on the 50mcg patch every 48hrs. and 2-3 norco 10/325 and 900mg gabapentin three times a day. I was doing great. My last appointment I saw someone new, a PA who decided that he doesn't like fentanyl because it is too addictive. His plan is to get me off the patch. He cut my dose in half to 25mcg every 48 hrs. and prescribed 5 norcos a day to help with the withdrawls. I cannot take that many norco a day and function. I am crying more, have had a panic attack and my pain is by no means under control. I feel helpless and hopeless. I suffer from chronic back and leg pain. It will never get better. I was functional before and happy. Now I am sad and miserable. Can you help? As far as I know all opiods are addictve. I have never misused my med in any way and have had numerous injections and blocks in my spine. I am a cooperative patient and would like to know my rights. I am a 53 year old woman a social security disability for my condition. This has been a terrible three weeks. Next month he plans on cutting the dose in half again...mind you this is the first time I have ever seen this guy. Please help. Thank you.
first Google . there is a huge difference. everyone who is on opiates for an extended period will become dependent, but less than 20% will become addicted. there's a HUGE difference.
"Physical dependence is solely a physical state indicating that the body has grown so adapted to having the drug present that sudden removal of it will lead to negative consequences such as a withdrawal reaction. This can occur with almost any kind of drug."
"Addiction is a biological and psychological condition that compels a person to satisfy their need for a particular stimulus and to keep satisfying it, no matter what. It is a compulsive behavior that demands more and more drugs, regardless of the consequences that lead to dysfunction. A person who is addicted to opioids has a disease that undermines optimal function and drives one to compulsively use a drug, despite the negative consequences."
there's a lot about this out there . . . read it, because you need to know.
it sounds to me like you have a PA who is too big for his britches. get an appointment to talk with one of the docs they need to know the full story behind your short post here. if you can't get the personal M.D. attention that you need, or they don't take your problem seriously, vote with your feet and find a new pain clinic (or a small pain management practice) . . . one that's not such a factory and will give each paitent the attention they deserve.
you have done nothing wrong and you don't deserve to be treated like this.
second, if you have a lack of substantive responses on this site it won't be from lack of caring. however, most folks here (like me) are focused on reaching or staying in sustained recovery from the disease of addiction.
This is so weird,reading your story is like I was writing it myself. I am also on the patch, only I'm on the (75 mcg) changing it every 48 hr.s I was having the same problems that you were. The 1st of this month they changed my ins. now they won't pay for the 48 hr.s, they even appealed it and it still didn't go through. I am scared of going into w/d myself, I know how horrible it can be. I have a doctors appt. on the 26th to discuss what were going to do next, wish I could get off of this !#$%. I will be praying for
you and myself. This is a great forum to be on, lots of good people with some good support.
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