Finally

[bb454]

I finally told my husband today about me abusing my prescribed vicodin. Big weight lifted but still feel like crap... Day 3.

[bb454]

Thanks Bolts..i know what you mean I didnt even feel like trying to explain this to my husband as he would have no clue..all he can do at this point is be supportive...thanks again for all your kind comments bolts!

[bb454]

Im feeling better physically but the anxiety is a killer! Thanks for asking!

[kme17]

How are you feeling bb!?

[Bolts21]

Mate great news. The end is in sight. I just think it important to chat with someone who knows what u r going thru. My wife and kids tried to help but it is hard to explain what's going on - and usually I didn't fell like explaining - laugh. I have a mate who is 10 months clean from heroine - I hate to imagine what he went thru (and still is going thru - his withdrawal drugs are stronger than anything I ever took). Good luck mate and keep counting. Hit that hot tub again if you need to - lucky bugger - laugh.

[bb454]

Thanks Bolts ..ur a sweet man with such encouraging words. I spent the day at my brothers he hs a hot tub...wow was that nice didnt feel my achy bones for at least an hour! Day 6 :))

[Bolts21]

Yep doing something may be the best thing ever. I'll bet small periods will go by when you don't even think about the pills. And that is the start of the end of this whole shitful process. Just think about the sense of achievement that's around the corner. Even 5 days is a great achievement - congratulations. Be careful and be strong girl. I'm backing you as a winner.

Bolts

[littlebit667]

On day 5 I actually did get out and surprisingly it helped me so much.  I forgot for a few hours that I was detoxing.  I then realized, I would be able to do it this time and so far I have.  Enjoy the day as much as you can.  Congrats!!

[dominosarah]

Just do what you can~~

[bb454]

Thanks Bolts and Sarah you are both right. I woke up feeling pretty crappy..nauseated and sore..gonna start moving around a bit..my family has been invited to numerous memorial day festivities and I dont want to let anyone down wven though I feel like $hit..day 5

[Bolts21]

Gday again - the funny thing is you will probably think about them for a long time - the difference will be you won't want to take them. It's a bit like breaking up with an old beau - I'm sure we've all done that. After a while you'll only remember the bad stuff not the good. You are real close - about day 4 or 5 right?. Those short periods of relief should be starting real soon. I know it sounds like bs at the moment but it will get better. Good luck

[dominosarah]

Sit down and write a goodbye letter to those pills.  Pour your soul into it.  The romance has to stop at some point and when you write a letter it does feel really good when you say that final goodbye~~

[bb454]

Thank you Sarah..how sweet are you to always be on here supporting people..i appreciate it so much. Xoxo...i cant stop thinking about pills all day its consuming me. Guess its to be expected tho.for a while..right?

[dominosarah]

Stay strong bb, you are doing great and with each passing day you are getting better~~sara

[bb454]

Thanks Bolts...I appreciate your messages so much..they are the only thing thats getting me through right now...thanks evrryone..

[Bolts21]

G'day bb - I hope today wasn't too shitful. You're one day closer. Had a pretty bad day myself today. I've ended up with some pretty bad peptic ulcers that were screaming for codiene today. Bugger it I used cayenne pepper - unbelievable but it kills ulcer pain. I don't know about vikes unfortunately - I don't think we get them down here - just oxys and endone at the top end. I am almost loathed to mention it but I had a great helper in the first two weeks. I used Champix - the stop smoking drug we get down here. From the first day of taking them (about day 3 or 4 of being clean)  they stopped about 80 or 90 percent of the physical cravings. They worked fantastic. I stopped them after about 2 weeks because they were knocking my ulcers around. I am not suggesting you use another drug but keep it in the back of your mind - they would be better than more vikes. I like the sound of the hylands - I bring back plenty of unisom when I get over there but I am trying to get off them too. I need at least one or two good nights sleep a week so I only use them occasionally. Ok I am raving again but thought I would give you something to read. Keep it up mate - real soon you will notice that you aren't thinking about vikes every second it might be say 10 minutes break between hunger thoughts. The ten minutes will become half hours and hours really quickly and then you are home and hosed. Normal functionality is real close. Good luck for tomorrow.

Bolts

[bb454]

Do you think withdrawal is the same coming off of 6 to 8 vicodin...as it is someone coming off of 20 or 30. I know 6 to 8 is bad but didnt think I would feel this bad! Damn

[bb454]

Lots of crying today..as I look around at my life and see how everyone around me can function in life without the pills..how can this change ypu so much? I functioned for years without myself practically my whole life. Im trying to stay positive I really am.

[bb454]

Thank you bolts..your post made me tear up..i have to work with the public and im finding it hard to even have conversations without my pills..i was taking between 6 to 8 vicodin a day. I have altered my personality with this $hit..it was prescribed by a doc but doesnt make it better..i was taking two at a time instead of one. ..im scared what the rest of this day will bring :(

[Bolts21]

It WILL get better - I know how hard it is and what you are going thru. I have been clean for over a month now after over 20 years of codiene abuse (bucket loads of the crap daily) - we can buy the rubbish over the counter in Australia. Apart from the health benefits just the feeling of freedom makes every bit of pain worthwhile (eventually). I come to the US once or twice a year and it is going to be great not having to bring in 200 x 15mg of codiene for a weeks visit. I can look the customs guys in the eyes with confidence now. I am rambling but I just want to reassure you that there are a bunch of people all around the world behind you because they are going through the same or similar stuff. Also rest assured there is no stigma to addiction - I am a University Proffesor with a PhD in Engineering - I've been told I should have been smarter - suppose that is true but it can bite anyone on the bum. (typical Aussie crassness sry). Keep going - stare in the mirror and tell yourself you will beat it - I am rooting for you (that means something else down here but this isn't the place to explain it - laugh). This was a bit long but I wanted to share my experiences - good luck - I will check back over the coming days.

Bolts

[bb454]

Thanks Minn..i took 4 hylands melts last night and a xanex and slept about 6 hours..woke up extremely anxious and nauseated..ugh..god get me through this day! Appreciate everyones support!!

[minn66]

Hi bb, just wanted to offer encouragement and support. I remember those early days of detox well. I'm glad you found this site. I wasn't prepared when I quit. I didn't know about the vitamins and supplements, the only thing I took until day 4 was a multivitamin and Immodium. Keep going, hun, take it as it comes. I'm thinking of you today.

Hugs and prayers,

Minn

[bb454]

For the record hylands restful legs have been a god send...

[Pat1956100]

Lack of sleep is something we are going to have to accept for awhile.  Don't stay in bed and toss and turn.  It's too frustrating. Watch tv or get on the computer.  I know it is really awful.  I hate it.  

[bb454]

930... Of day 3... Body hurts like I have been run over by a truck. Looking forward to a long restless night ahead. I have Ambien and wonfer if it will make me sleep through the restlrss legs which drive me INSANE. I have xanex too..which I will never abuse because I hate that tired sluggish feeling. Vicodin game me so much energy..then turned on me. F'n devil.pills.