Just wondering

[mockingbird1234]

Just wondering how much I should be tapering off the oxy`s.  In my original post i had put 40 - 60 but as i sat and thought about it, it was a bit higher more like 60 - 80 depending on my day.  I have it down to the lower 60`s at this point but i feel quite sick and tired throughout the day, and i am getting increasingly anxious about my inability to just quit considering I am pregnant.  I dont have a dr and the one i did go see asked me if i wanted an abortion.  i am highly frustrated because i so want to be excited about this pregnancy and i went to an ultrasound and baby was looked amazing, i again originally thought i was only 8 weeks tops along being pregnant but as it turns out i am 12 weeks, i had a period and some spotting and was quite surprised to see how far along i am, and i am excited cuz my miscarriage last year was at 6 weeks (and i was completely clean of anything then and had been for over a year) anyway this baby has somehow managed to make it to 12 weeks and is active and i can see his eyes, and legs and arms, and i try to look at those pics when i am feeling like **** and it works but i am becoming so stressed and sick that i am getting worried about my mental health as well.....reaching out

[worried878]

I would imagine she means milligrams...anyway...our prayers r with u

[lisa983]

do u mean u are taking 60 to 80 pills a day?

lisa

[mockingbird1234]

No I am not alone in the sense that my family and my partner are aware of my dependency.  I havent ever been one to hide things like this from the people I love, but at this point the only people who know I am pregnant is my partner, me and my mother.  I just cant bare the judgementalness of those who do not understand.  I already know I have to get off these things for the sake of the baby, I've done it with previous children, mind you i was never into anything that I am physically dependent on, and so this is just ripping me apart.  And I dont have a doctor that i can talk to or who is able to help me in anyway. And I do grow increasingly anxious about this, as I wonder about the baby, and hoping I dont miscarry, I did last year and I was completely clean of everything/anything i dont know why i couldnt carry full term, as i have three vry healthy children, maybe age maybe statistics, but regardless I know i will blame myself regardless of what it is i am doing or not doing should i lose this child.  Anyway, thanks for responding, it really does mean the world to me.  I pm'd betterlife1234 and she assured me i am doing the right thing by tapering, and suggested the amount.  I had been using perks when i cant find oxy's, not as many perks mind you, but i dont feel comfortable with this.  And she confirmed this for me.  So another thing to feel ****** about...anyway...i dont want to dwell, i feel angry at this moment. Angry with myself.  Again thanks for your words! :)

[worried878]

sweetie....r u alone with all of this?....tapering slowly would be the key to keep the baby safe but u really need a doctor right now...lots of support here...u have a little life to think about now...keep posting