Going thru the worse thing ive ever been thru

[wantourbabyback]

Just to start im sorry to who i make madbut i truely have heard all the bad mean comments and thoughts and i have questions im trying to get answers to . ok well its kind of hard for me to talk about  it i never i would have a story like this. My husband and i just had our first baby together  and  he was born last monday he was perfect 7 pounds 10ounces beautiful all his health screens were perfect and for the first time in the whole 9months my husband and i were happy we both felt like we had everything..  And for the first 2days we had everything till 30 mins before they discharged us . well my health chart had been flagged because i had been to treatment b4 for meth,herion and pills. i had been sober after that for awhile then started using ughh meth again and couldnt stop except for three months in my pregnancy then started using again. Anyway i was to scared to tell my doctor and at the end of my pregnancy i started having extreme high blood pressure i was a week over due so the finally induced me last sunday. once i was at the hospital they were very sneaky about what they were doing but finally monday at 2:30pm he was born healthy 7 pounds 10ounces he was perfect. anyways when it was 30 mins till we could go home a social worker came and told methey put our son on a 24 hour hold cuz i tested positive for meth and they pushed my baby out of my room and took him to the nursery. wtf. my heart was broken the next day came and they said hey were discharging me but my baby was going to be held on a hold by cps.. it didnt seem real it seemed like a bad dream. my husband was mad .. i hate myself for what i have done to my son i talk to the nurses 20times aday to check on him and its killing me to not be holding him i cant believe what i have done he was showing signs of withdrawl so they put him on morphine and he is doing much better they said he will be kept there a month. when my husbands family found out they would call and thearten me and say horrible things just like everyone else i hate myself and will never forgive myself ever. its his week old bday tmrw and he isnt going to b with me i cant stop thinking bout it and i try to be strong but i cant and my husband is mad at me cuz cps is pretty much saying **** you to him. i cant believe i did this it makes me so sick. i have a case worker and nobody will answer my questions so if anyone can help please i need it. everything is harder when u have no support and they only thing u can think bout is what u did to your kid. what usally happens next why r they trying to act like he has no rights to his own son. how long is it going to take me to get him back i will never give up i will do whatever hey ask me to i need my son and so does my husband. this is killing me please someone tell me how i can get thru all this just to go thru it again tommrow

[Nighthawk61]

ufortuately i ca't use my keyoard right ow,  xoxo clea _ i_ ks

[Pat1956100]

Wow Girl,
Congrats on completing rehab and getting clean.  You should be so proud.
I am so happy you are getting your baby back and can look forward to a long happy life together.
Protect him girl.  I know you can.

[clean_in_ks]

Ii was confused, because I'm slow and still brain dead.....so for anyone else that was confused, Nighthawk has been loving, posting, supporting and suggesting for a long time.  That's why she's aware of the history that we weren't if we just read this thread.  The posts and dates referenced above are from the "abuse" community on this forum.
I'm hoping wantourbabyback will listen......for you first and then your baby.
Just clarifying outloud in case someone else felt lost, too. Ha!
Thanks Nighthawk~

[Nighthawk61]

You must go to a shelter for Carter. Should he witess this. Please love Carter more tham this.

[Nighthawk61]

" Cartar has been placed with a living single mom for now she is wonderful "

[Nighthawk61]

Nov 07, 2012
my husband usallay says one thing and does another he blames me and keeps being very abusive he calls me names says hurtful stuff tells me he will break my face if i speak without raising my hand he broke my jaw last sept for throwing a cd away ; he blames me and keeps being very abusive he calls me names says hurtful stuff tells me he will break my face if i speak without raising my hand he broke my jaw last sept for throwing a cd away

Nov 10, 2012
Im scared to leave he will take everyrhing that i worked hard for

Nov 11, 2012
it's so crazy because I'm starting to believe it. I use to be a very strong minded girl now my mind is completely messed up. and I don't get why I can just pick up and leave what is holding me back besides having nothing cause he will take everything

Nov 14, 2012
i dont understand how he can be like this right now he isnt even somonei feel like i know

Nov 15, 2012
At the worst time ever i find out my husband cheated on me and then tonight beat me for getting mad and crying.. im fice mins away from doung something dumb ti myself im so worthless why do i deserve this