Going thru the worse thing ive ever been thru

[wantourbabyback]

Just to start im sorry to who i make madbut i truely have heard all the bad mean comments and thoughts and i have questions im trying to get answers to . ok well its kind of hard for me to talk about  it i never i would have a story like this. My husband and i just had our first baby together  and  he was born last monday he was perfect 7 pounds 10ounces beautiful all his health screens were perfect and for the first time in the whole 9months my husband and i were happy we both felt like we had everything..  And for the first 2days we had everything till 30 mins before they discharged us . well my health chart had been flagged because i had been to treatment b4 for meth,herion and pills. i had been sober after that for awhile then started using ughh meth again and couldnt stop except for three months in my pregnancy then started using again. Anyway i was to scared to tell my doctor and at the end of my pregnancy i started having extreme high blood pressure i was a week over due so the finally induced me last sunday. once i was at the hospital they were very sneaky about what they were doing but finally monday at 2:30pm he was born healthy 7 pounds 10ounces he was perfect. anyways when it was 30 mins till we could go home a social worker came and told methey put our son on a 24 hour hold cuz i tested positive for meth and they pushed my baby out of my room and took him to the nursery. wtf. my heart was broken the next day came and they said hey were discharging me but my baby was going to be held on a hold by cps.. it didnt seem real it seemed like a bad dream. my husband was mad .. i hate myself for what i have done to my son i talk to the nurses 20times aday to check on him and its killing me to not be holding him i cant believe what i have done he was showing signs of withdrawl so they put him on morphine and he is doing much better they said he will be kept there a month. when my husbands family found out they would call and thearten me and say horrible things just like everyone else i hate myself and will never forgive myself ever. its his week old bday tmrw and he isnt going to b with me i cant stop thinking bout it and i try to be strong but i cant and my husband is mad at me cuz cps is pretty much saying **** you to him. i cant believe i did this it makes me so sick. i have a case worker and nobody will answer my questions so if anyone can help please i need it. everything is harder when u have no support and they only thing u can think bout is what u did to your kid. what usally happens next why r they trying to act like he has no rights to his own son. how long is it going to take me to get him back i will never give up i will do whatever hey ask me to i need my son and so does my husband. this is killing me please someone tell me how i can get thru all this just to go thru it again tommrow

[wantourbabyback]

thank you on Thursday we are starting our parenting goal plan and i have 6 months to complete what they ask of me. being sober makes all this hurt seem alot worse. and my husband says he isnt taking there side he is just keeping them happy. ugh its hard. but i want my son and i wont give up hopefully all the mean crap needs to stop cuz thats what is killing me

[aheart]

  It's a shame your husband stands up for those who are against you, instead of having your back like he said when he took the wedding vows.
But if he is still using himself then that means you still have an unstable home and that's no way to raise a child. Everyone needs to get real honest and stand together if you want to get your baby back. You say you are only clean for two days, does that mean when you got out of the hospital you came home and used again? I'm no trying to be mean or judgemental I'm just playing the devil advocate for a minute. All the drug use has to stop completely, or this will not work. Your husbands included.
  I have some good news for you.When family court judges look at a case, they always want the baby with the mother, if she has done her homework.
Mothers come before grandparents, aunts, etc. The judge will ask you what you have done to get clean and stay that way, and also what you have done to make your home acceptable for your baby.The more you can show the better your chances of being considered in a favorable light.
So now you have got your work cut out for you, and please don't pick up the drugs again.Ask your dh, is he willing to give up the drugs too. Good Luck to you!

[wantourbabyback]

Thank u so much. its just so hard when i feel like i made the biggest mistake in the qorld and it cost me my lil angel and knwing that i could have prevented this... im so low down right now and dont have any support here for me except from all of u that im greatful for. its hard and then having a husband and his fam beat me down all day everyday i feel like giving up

[wantourbabyback]

Congrats thats so great!!!!! It must be amazing.

[wantoutasap25]

hiya im new to this site and im from england but have just been thru the same situation (more or less!) i had my son for 4 days in hospital then they took him off to foster care... even tho my family (mum & sis) were there 2 have him 4 sum reason they didnt look within the family 1st which they shud do! its a horible situation 2 b in hun, i really feel 4 u but like the other ppl on here say just do everything they ask of you and more if u can! i havnt got my son back yet but the process has started for him 2 *** back to my mum so things r lookin up but ive still got a lot 2 prove 2 social services. when does ur case go thru court? coz u shudnt be denied access. you r his mum and as long as ppl dont turn up 2 contact off thier head or put their babies at risk in any way (which im very sure u wudnt) and they cant stop u from seeing him.. keep it up and dont let people make u feel like u want 2 use.. i know its easier said than dun cuz i still feel like using sometimes when i let things all get on top ov me but write your feelings down when u feel like that it works for me.. if i can see things on paper it helps me deal with it better. good luck and ill keep praying for you xxx

[ms_walker]

Have u seen baby at all? I'm sry to hear he's still in there. Y is ur husband being so mean? He's supposed to b there for u. I'm sry he's a jerk. Its just a much his fault. He's still using, is that why he won't give a ua? Hopefully his family will come to there senses and act grown! If they're the only ones trying to get ur son then they probably will, sry to say):
Everything went great Tuesday. Labor kinda sucked. Her heart beat would get real low whenever I had a contraction. Almost had to have a csection. Once it came time to deliver it got easier. 2 pushes Lol. But she got to come home with me lastnite. No w/d as far a we can tell. She didn't have to b in nicu at all. We still have to watch her tho. Dr said it could take a week for w/d to show. cps did come n talk to me. They said they would have to report my opiate abuse n that sumone would b contacting me. Idk what's gona happen with that tho. And they're sending sumone to do a home check this Sunday. I'm still worried bout somethings but I'm just so happy my baby is healthy. Thank u for ur support! U don't kno what it means to me!