Chris you cant go. I feel the same way as you at times. Most of the time. Gotta freaking please everybody around you. I know exactly what that is like. So it leaves you completly emypty inside and that's where the drugs come in. I do the same damn thing. Got the same kind of wife and same kind of life. Don't think for a second leaving here and reverting back is the answer. You know better than that. Sure you feel like **** right now but leaving is not the answer. You came here looking for something,so did I. Look man i have'nt posted much lately and there's a couple reasons for that. I used last Saturday night. Yes thats riight I (relapsed) I took about 5 10's last saturday and since I have felt like ****, depressed,ashamed and trying to figure out what to do. Thought I had it beat. So you go I go,~~John
I believe this is what goingtomakeit was saying and what I said in a pm to someone yesterday. When people come here for help in quitting thats great and we need to help them but we also need to stress aftercare,,lifetime aftercare. Its fine to help an overweight person lose weight but if we dont include all the things that must be done to keep the weight off then what good have we done? Thats why it irritates me when someone bashes na/aa,suboxone,or any route a person takes to get and STAY clean.Going thru wds is just a very short part of the process,its not even really recovery,,that starts when your head is clear and you admit that addiction is a lifelong battle or better yet a "lifechange". People do it all the time for many diff reasons but its not a day or week change its a life change.The more your life changes the farther you get away from using. Blot,,you have so much to give and everyday you"ll have more. This is a tough thing to do and giving up isnt part of the process. Dont be like those that go to one 12 step meeting ,,dont care for it and say "its not for me and stop going. If your not talking on the forum what are you going to do ? Dont be selfish,,we need you every bit as much as you need us.
I don't know you but, I FEEL YOU. Belive me my house is DESTROYED TODAY because i rummaged through it looking for a piece of a Vicodin! Thank god I didn't find any someone on here told me just to drop a valium and sleep. It helped and today day 4 isn't as bad as yesterday.
I was where you are now and you'll be mad at yourself later. Don't go even if it's just to check and see if I can make it. I'll be your reality show. I'm not sure I can keep it up but I've made day 4 clean after over 10 years steady 15 total and I'm only in my 30"s.
What a waist of important years. I hear you AND BELIVE ME I FEEL YOU! I'd love to call my friends drop a med & head to the beach but, I don't want to be that person in my 40's. So I know it has to change this time.....I HOPE.....I'm TRYING.
Don't give up even if you mess up one day.
I think you know that leaving is not a good decision and we're here to convince you of that. Let me ask you this... outside of this forum how is your support system? You've been a big part of this forum since I have been here and what you're really doing is just plain old giving up.... Man.... now is the time you need to reach down inside of you and stick up for yourself. You can't just say "goodbye everyone" and give up like that!
As you've heard a thousand times.... this is just one of the battles in the entire war. If you lose to many battles you will lose the war but if you win MOST of them you will win! Don't let that stupid devil tell you that you can't do this or that you're not worth it. That REALLY IS the devil talking. Tell him to F off and take care of business.
I have read a lot of your posts and have seen you both up and down and right now you're just down. THIS TOO SHALL PASS!! Please.... hang in there and don't leave us. Everyone has something to offer including you blot..... We ALL need each other and that includes you my friend!
Trout
Hey, everyone knows they just need to quit. But that is what everyone is here for. It's not exactly an easy thing to do. And everyone needs to find out the best way for themselves.
Hey, it took me about 1 year to figure out how to do it. But i knew it was what i wanted and i refused to stop searching and trying new ways until i got it right. There is an answer for you. Look at all the people who have done it. You're just as good as they are and you deserve it just as much.
If what you want is freedom from drugs, then damn-it
ask for it
believe it
and recieve it!
Now come on, what would Rocky say.
wait wait wait. So you just don't want to talk to us anymore? You don't want to discuss addiction? In a way I understand, when I relapsed, I pretty much stopped posting, and didn't tell anyone about the relapse until a few days ago. But I was still here everyday reading. I hadn't totally given up on myself, knew I was gonna stop again someday. Just wasn't sure when or how. At least keep coming back to read and stay in touch. Help others if you have gained any knowledge, which I'm sure you have. Don't lose touch. You will quit again some day, when your ready. And we will be here for you. Good luck and please check in every now and then.
Magi
Leaving here will accomplish nothing. Staying here will help you. I have never thought you wasted my time here. Where is that thought coming from? That thought needs to be thrown down. It is lying to you to make you leave here. Please reconsider. 3 months is a short time compared to the big picture. What does matter is getting back up when you make a mistake. What about flmagi and mary? Should they leave too? No! They have chosen to fight back. I hope you do too.