Help... Only on day 2, have a dr appt hour and want to be done?

[Pink_addict]

Ok, I've never signed up but have been reading for a long time. I'm on day 2 of nothing and I feel ok. My habit is bad, I'll take anything I can get my hands on. Since last week, I've had 60 5 mg perks, and 20 Vic 10's. And quit Saturday afternoon. I have a dr's appt in an hour and really want off! Now!!!
Any suggestions on what to to say?
I just had neck surgery in September 2014, two disc replacements and two fusions, which took 4 years to find! My habit started about 5 years ago when I had cancer, I was taking 180 p10's every two weeks! Eventually the dr got in trouble, so he stopped and I went on suboxone for 7 months, had a hysterectomy in 2010, was put back on meds, then hurt my shoulder later that year, which come to find in 2014, was actually a neck injury! So I've been taking a lot over the past 5 years! But I'm done, I'm tired of these things.... I babysit, plus I have a 16 yo and twin boys who are 8, I have hep c which I've had for 20 + years and I'm starting to have liver pain, but I wanna watch my kids grow... I don't do the taper thing well, but I still have pain. Not as bad as I thought after day 2, but still am a little apprehensive....
The dr I see now is pain management, which I've never had before, and he put me in opana ER, and two Percocet a day which I dusted in about 10 days, I don't know what to do today... My husband has told me to go in and be honest with him. I want off, any suggestions?

[Pink_addict]

Thank you!
He said just to stay since I made it this far! He also said he was impressed with how I looked and talked, he said most people two days into with your habit are you usually was worse!
With that said, I'm sticking with it! My husband is out of work right now due to an injury at work so it couldn't be a better time than right now!
I got this! Thanks for all your kind words, and I'll keep checking in!

[spider6]

Hey pinky!   Oh hon...I feel your frustration and anxiety about this but yes go to your Dr. appt. and just lay it all out.  Then take a deep breath as you will feel so much lighter.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  

Ibkleen nailed it.  Grats to you on your decision.  I look forward to hearing how your appt went and also to support you on your journey.

Oh yes and I too have heard countless others who had legit pain mngmnt issues say that their pain is so much more tolerable now that they are opiate free.  Who'd-a-thunk eh?

Much luck friend, stick around I hope.  This is an awesome support site and many angels here to help carry you through.

Strength and hugs Janice, aka spider.

[NewOrleansLady]

I agree with IBKleen, you should consider getting to the root of the problem. Once you are off all the pills you would be surprised how much you've exaggerated the pain. And I say this as a person who had a off the chart pill addiction. I Over Dosed more times than I care to remember. And I went on to have a C-Section w/ only my 15 mg of Methadone. and survived. You have to be willing to be 100% HONEST w/ yourself, YOUR DOCTORS, YOUR FAMILY, AND Give up having Money at your Disposal, because when we addicts get desperate we do desperate things. I am now ready to get off of the 15mg of Methadone and I know that I am ready, MIND, BODY &'SPIRIT. It IS NOT AN OPTION TO GO BACK TO PILLS. I AM BETTER, AND YOU ARE TOO. Set Bounderies for yourself and Stick to Them.
                                                                                    NEW ORLEANS LADY

[mlajl]

I'd say honesty is best too... u sound like u have been mesrible. Pain may be In your life permanently or it may not  . With that said, is there a way u can make sure your husband handles your pain meds and give u what u need per prescription directions keeping them away from you? It's a option if pain is to severe..  i will say most people on here who get off and grinned and bare it for a while find their pain is managable off opiates. . Opiates are tricky little devils.. good luck to u!

[IBKleen]

Have you tried no meds before to try and assess your pain level? Most of us pill addicts find that after we put the pills down and wait a few weeks, or a month, the pain is not what it used to be. It may be that way in your case.

So are you going to get yourself into some form of aftercare?

[Pink_addict]

Yes, I am willing to do whatever it takes. I was getting my meds previously from a pcp, and then the surgeon.  I've been really honest for a while. And yes, I know, I'm addicted to taking them and fully aware of it. I'm so tired of this. It's a vicious cycle.
Like I said, I'm in day two, and super scared of this appointment. I will not tak suboxone again, no way in hell! That was horrible!
I'm thinking cold turkey has to be the way to go! I'm on lyrica which seems to helping which is great, he did say I had fibromyalgia too, but worried that it may have been brought on by opiates!
I just want my life back!
Thanks

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,
I agree with your hubby. If you really are done you need to get honest with your doctor and ask for help. He may suggest Suboxone again and while I don't advocate it, it is helpful in certain cases. If you do go down that road you need to get proper aftercare. If you just take the pill you will be right back in the same situation. You need to get to the root of your problems and you need to learn life skills and relapse prevention just to name two.

Are you getting all of these pills from a doctor? Is it the one youa re going to see? If so, please get honest.

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get your life back?