Aa
Help and advice I'm scared
Hi,
I'm new here been reading posts for two days. Originally came here via search engine to find information on the new meds I have been placed on and got drawn into your lives with your story's. I'll try to keep this short. One night I was getting ready for bed and felt like I was going to throw up, out of no where no warnings no symptoms nothing. I threw up the immediately fell to the floor I'n more pain than I could attempt to describe. Luckily my husband heard me because I couldn't have called out to him if I had too. Told him get me to hospital something is bad wrong I was very scared.
I lost 90% of my pancreas overnight it necrotized. I kept asking if I was going to die they wouldn't answer me for two weeks. They wanted to induce coma the pain was more than they could manage, i refused. Took me a week to convince them that I don't drink. Eventually they copped out and said maybe it was the lisinapril I was on for my BP.
Tests tests tests could not find any stones I'n gallbladder couldn't eat or drink got a 6 x 8 inch psyuedo cyst on what was left of my pancreas. After 5 months I'n hospital I told them to go take my gallbladder I was tired, tired enough to die. They said they would have to completely open me up I said whatever. They took gallbladder out it was sludgy they cut hole I'n cyst and stomach 32 staples later I wake up.
Five months almost 6 and I'm going home after all the morphine pumps I had no withdrawal. 4 more months at home still tube feeding total weight loss 70 lbs I'm only 5'2 tall.
Eventually learned how to eat again that was so hard to do. Ended up on norcos. Never took more than prescribed even tho my pain everyday was he'll it never got better.
Back and forth to hospital every 2-3 months with bad infections caused by my remaining pancreas that was infecting all digestive tract and liver. I wanted to die. If not for my two grand babies so I continue to fight.
Last checkup my doctor asked me when I was gonna stop being so stubborn. I had no life couldn't function, i sat thinking.... I'm 50...I'm I'n massive pain... My life has been shortened...so I finally gave I'n and told him send me to pain clinic.
I currently have 4% of my pancreas and still not diabetic it's working it's little heart out. They do a nerve block tell me come back I'n a week for the other side. I'm told my pain is akin to end stage cancer (like I didn't know that) I go back and sadly tell them it didn't work I had such high hopes after so much suffering.
They say it's not working and they are not going to do the other side. They send me home with ms contin 30 mg twice a day and dilauded 30 mg 4 times a day. I'm on my third day of no pain I'n over 18 months. It's like I'm experiencing things for the first time. A shower is to be enjoyed not just to shave pain off.
Then I read all this stuff.
Now I'm scared, I've never been addicted I'n my life always could just lay things down with no problem. I'm pain free do you have any idea what that means to me? But according to all of you I feel like I've taken my first steps down a path that I'll regret.
I'm scared and need advice
Plz help me
I'm new here been reading posts for two days. Originally came here via search engine to find information on the new meds I have been placed on and got drawn into your lives with your story's. I'll try to keep this short. One night I was getting ready for bed and felt like I was going to throw up, out of no where no warnings no symptoms nothing. I threw up the immediately fell to the floor I'n more pain than I could attempt to describe. Luckily my husband heard me because I couldn't have called out to him if I had too. Told him get me to hospital something is bad wrong I was very scared.
I lost 90% of my pancreas overnight it necrotized. I kept asking if I was going to die they wouldn't answer me for two weeks. They wanted to induce coma the pain was more than they could manage, i refused. Took me a week to convince them that I don't drink. Eventually they copped out and said maybe it was the lisinapril I was on for my BP.
Tests tests tests could not find any stones I'n gallbladder couldn't eat or drink got a 6 x 8 inch psyuedo cyst on what was left of my pancreas. After 5 months I'n hospital I told them to go take my gallbladder I was tired, tired enough to die. They said they would have to completely open me up I said whatever. They took gallbladder out it was sludgy they cut hole I'n cyst and stomach 32 staples later I wake up.
Five months almost 6 and I'm going home after all the morphine pumps I had no withdrawal. 4 more months at home still tube feeding total weight loss 70 lbs I'm only 5'2 tall.
Eventually learned how to eat again that was so hard to do. Ended up on norcos. Never took more than prescribed even tho my pain everyday was he'll it never got better.
Back and forth to hospital every 2-3 months with bad infections caused by my remaining pancreas that was infecting all digestive tract and liver. I wanted to die. If not for my two grand babies so I continue to fight.
Last checkup my doctor asked me when I was gonna stop being so stubborn. I had no life couldn't function, i sat thinking.... I'm 50...I'm I'n massive pain... My life has been shortened...so I finally gave I'n and told him send me to pain clinic.
I currently have 4% of my pancreas and still not diabetic it's working it's little heart out. They do a nerve block tell me come back I'n a week for the other side. I'm told my pain is akin to end stage cancer (like I didn't know that) I go back and sadly tell them it didn't work I had such high hopes after so much suffering.
They say it's not working and they are not going to do the other side. They send me home with ms contin 30 mg twice a day and dilauded 30 mg 4 times a day. I'm on my third day of no pain I'n over 18 months. It's like I'm experiencing things for the first time. A shower is to be enjoyed not just to shave pain off.
Then I read all this stuff.
Now I'm scared, I've never been addicted I'n my life always could just lay things down with no problem. I'm pain free do you have any idea what that means to me? But according to all of you I feel like I've taken my first steps down a path that I'll regret.
I'm scared and need advice
Plz help me
Best Answer
And how is it your fault? Did you find a place to buy suffering? Some special catalog of afflection and look at the pictures and point out hey that looks fun. Ill order two? Lol. Trying to make you laugh. How in the world.do you think this is your fault? Your fighting for your life! Your family loves you worries about you. Pity parties are not allowed. Sorry. Being upset yes. Mad yes. Fustrated yes. But no pity paries. Your fighting for everyday of your life. If you get one more day than spend it wisely. Youve been thru xxxx and back. God wants you here for awhile to spend with your family. They love you anyway shape or form your in. Your a child of God. Im praying for you
Hey... Im back from rehab. I missed you. And Im glad to see your having a good start of the day.Im not the person to talk to about medical issues your having. My specialty is inspirational sayings and Im a silly sense of humor. If your ever down ill give ya hugs and make silly faces until you laugh. I can hold your hand and cheer you on. I love cheering people along their way. I love a good success story. I love and admire your attitude. Its such a joy seeing you post. Even though your not an old drug addict like me. Hahaha. You bring so much to this forum. We need you with us. I need you. Your friend bama. And roll tide roll.
Good morning,
Thank you both and the others for all the support so many new things I'n my life, friends, days without debilitating pain, do you know that before now I had never read or posted on forums? I think God lead me to all of you to help me just I'n time I was ready to die even if it ment losing my chance at heaven.
So many good things today. I've been up 1 hour and I had messages from you waiting for me to read. They are like Christmas presents when your a child so full of magic and wonder.
I slept 6 whole wonderful amazing hours !!!!
I went to the bathroom!!!!!! Isn't that a hoot to be so happy and thankful for a bowel movement lol I could easily run naked down the street toilet paper trailing behind me yelling I pooped!!! I pooped!!!
Above my first joke and true laughter I'n almost two years.
I'm hungry, I want to eat breakfast instead of forcing myself to eat.
I'm trying to remember if I took a contin before sleep or if I didn't I don't know why but I feel like the correct answer might be tied to my ability to have actually slept last night.....
I am so thankful to God for sending me your hearts not just to know that I'm loved but to give me someone to love I'n return......crying now.....happy tears.
I love you
Thank you both and the others for all the support so many new things I'n my life, friends, days without debilitating pain, do you know that before now I had never read or posted on forums? I think God lead me to all of you to help me just I'n time I was ready to die even if it ment losing my chance at heaven.
So many good things today. I've been up 1 hour and I had messages from you waiting for me to read. They are like Christmas presents when your a child so full of magic and wonder.
I slept 6 whole wonderful amazing hours !!!!
I went to the bathroom!!!!!! Isn't that a hoot to be so happy and thankful for a bowel movement lol I could easily run naked down the street toilet paper trailing behind me yelling I pooped!!! I pooped!!!
Above my first joke and true laughter I'n almost two years.
I'm hungry, I want to eat breakfast instead of forcing myself to eat.
I'm trying to remember if I took a contin before sleep or if I didn't I don't know why but I feel like the correct answer might be tied to my ability to have actually slept last night.....
I am so thankful to God for sending me your hearts not just to know that I'm loved but to give me someone to love I'n return......crying now.....happy tears.
I love you
Hey there Jackie,
I'm so sorry this is happening to you and am sending you hearfelt hugs. No doubt this has been very traumatic for you and your family.You have found a great community of people who genuinely care about your emotional and physical health.
I'm glad you found your way to medhelp however I don't think you are an addict. I hope you are closer to reconciling your fears of addiction in regard to your pain management. Tolerance is a normal body process and is not a factor in Continue to keep working with your doctor to establish effective dosing with the contin and breakthrough dilaudid.
You have to treat your constipation aggressively when taking pain meds. You may need to try a fleet enema to evacuate your bowels. It may be necessary to seek medical treatment as impaction is a serious situation. Taking a stool softener with breakfast and supper, and senakot at bedtime is good bowel maintenece. It's difficult to understand how doctors always miss this part...
Stay strong and keep posting :o)
I'm so sorry this is happening to you and am sending you hearfelt hugs. No doubt this has been very traumatic for you and your family.You have found a great community of people who genuinely care about your emotional and physical health.
I'm glad you found your way to medhelp however I don't think you are an addict. I hope you are closer to reconciling your fears of addiction in regard to your pain management. Tolerance is a normal body process and is not a factor in Continue to keep working with your doctor to establish effective dosing with the contin and breakthrough dilaudid.
You have to treat your constipation aggressively when taking pain meds. You may need to try a fleet enema to evacuate your bowels. It may be necessary to seek medical treatment as impaction is a serious situation. Taking a stool softener with breakfast and supper, and senakot at bedtime is good bowel maintenece. It's difficult to understand how doctors always miss this part...
Stay strong and keep posting :o)
Hi Jackie, that would be a good idea (the treadmill) .About the addiction part just try to take the least amount that controls your pain.
Ask your doc if it's ok to take magnesium citrate? They sell it at dollar general and that worked great(too good) for me on bathroom problems when I was on pain meds.Glad you are still doing well.
Ask your doc if it's ok to take magnesium citrate? They sell it at dollar general and that worked great(too good) for me on bathroom problems when I was on pain meds.Glad you are still doing well.
Hi everyone I'm not mad just scared, frustrated, confused so many feelings. I have an update.
I seen my doc and he upped the dilaudid to 8 I also inquired about the Xanax danger one of you mentioned and the doc said it's ok and we signed some contract and asked if I would do a urine test I said sure. He also said ok to take 3 a day on ms contin with my inability to sleep he says the third one might help due to the fact that I don't really sleep and I'm up so long that 2 pills probably does not cover my awake time.
I'm placing my trust I'n him it's so hard to do that knowing he could ruin my life so easily. He never even really questioned me to see if I needed all this....that bothers me, unless it's because it's all documented. I just don't know my feelings are battling each other right now....am I doing the right thing?
I'm so confused with my feelings
I'm happy that most of my pain is now controlled but still very afraid of addiction what if I get tolerance? Asked doc that too he told me yes eventually it will happen but there are lots of things they can do or try but my fear is eventually, no matter what, I'll be an addict right?
I think since it's winter and too cold to do much now that I feel better maybe I'll try out my treadmill I bought just before I got sick I've read so many things here that ppl say has helped them.
I'm very constipated now painfully so i tryed mirilax like they had me take I'n hospital but so far nothing I think I'm close to impacting.
You all are the only friends I have and I am so thankful for you and I'm praying for all of you I just can't shake this feeling that two wrongs don't make a right if you get what I'm saying I want to live and feel better but on my terms not at the mercy of a pill.
Please all stay I'n touch with me I need you so much right now and hopefully soon maybe I'll be less afraid enough to do more than just pray for you. I do have a couple good shoulders that don't mind taking tear baths from others and I hope I can help all of you someday.
All my love
Jackie
I seen my doc and he upped the dilaudid to 8 I also inquired about the Xanax danger one of you mentioned and the doc said it's ok and we signed some contract and asked if I would do a urine test I said sure. He also said ok to take 3 a day on ms contin with my inability to sleep he says the third one might help due to the fact that I don't really sleep and I'm up so long that 2 pills probably does not cover my awake time.
I'm placing my trust I'n him it's so hard to do that knowing he could ruin my life so easily. He never even really questioned me to see if I needed all this....that bothers me, unless it's because it's all documented. I just don't know my feelings are battling each other right now....am I doing the right thing?
I'm so confused with my feelings
I'm happy that most of my pain is now controlled but still very afraid of addiction what if I get tolerance? Asked doc that too he told me yes eventually it will happen but there are lots of things they can do or try but my fear is eventually, no matter what, I'll be an addict right?
I think since it's winter and too cold to do much now that I feel better maybe I'll try out my treadmill I bought just before I got sick I've read so many things here that ppl say has helped them.
I'm very constipated now painfully so i tryed mirilax like they had me take I'n hospital but so far nothing I think I'm close to impacting.
You all are the only friends I have and I am so thankful for you and I'm praying for all of you I just can't shake this feeling that two wrongs don't make a right if you get what I'm saying I want to live and feel better but on my terms not at the mercy of a pill.
Please all stay I'n touch with me I need you so much right now and hopefully soon maybe I'll be less afraid enough to do more than just pray for you. I do have a couple good shoulders that don't mind taking tear baths from others and I hope I can help all of you someday.
All my love
Jackie
Hi again, I thought i would do a update...and im still 10 day sober now....and about 80% normal. It was one of the hardest things i have done in my life. But im so happy that i feel better. To get used to the idea that my WILL POWER, MY INNER, MY SOUL is stronger than my body , my outer and the world. To be able to tell my body NO! Look, what it has done to you. Remember you are doing something great for yourself and you will be rewarded.
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