Help and advice I'm scared

[JackieRPain]

Hi,

I'm new here been reading posts for two days. Originally came here via search engine to find information on the new meds I have been placed on and got drawn into your lives with your story's. I'll try to keep this short. One night I was getting ready for bed and felt like I was going to throw up, out of no where no warnings no symptoms nothing. I threw up the immediately fell to the floor I'n more pain than I could attempt to describe. Luckily my husband heard me because I couldn't have called out to him if I had too. Told him get me to hospital something is bad wrong I was very scared.

I lost 90% of my pancreas overnight it necrotized. I kept asking if I was going to die they wouldn't answer me for two weeks. They wanted to induce coma the pain was more than they could manage, i refused. Took me a week to convince them that I don't drink. Eventually they copped out and said maybe it was the lisinapril I was on for my BP.

Tests tests tests could not find any stones I'n gallbladder couldn't eat or drink got a 6 x 8 inch psyuedo cyst on what was left of my pancreas. After 5 months I'n hospital I told them to go take my gallbladder I was tired, tired enough to die. They said they would have to completely open me up I said whatever. They took gallbladder out it was sludgy they cut hole I'n cyst and stomach 32 staples later I wake up.

Five months almost 6 and I'm going home after all the morphine pumps I had no withdrawal. 4 more months at home still tube feeding total weight loss 70 lbs I'm only 5'2 tall.

Eventually learned how to eat again that was so hard to do. Ended up on norcos. Never took more than prescribed even tho my pain everyday was he'll it never got better.

Back and forth to hospital every 2-3 months with bad infections caused by my remaining pancreas that was infecting all digestive tract and liver. I wanted to die. If not for my two grand babies so I continue to fight.

Last checkup my doctor asked me when I was gonna stop being so stubborn. I had no life couldn't function, i sat thinking.... I'm 50...I'm I'n massive pain... My life has been shortened...so I finally gave I'n and told him send me to pain clinic.

I currently have 4% of my pancreas and still not diabetic it's working it's little heart out. They do a nerve block tell me come back I'n a week for the other side. I'm told my pain is akin to end stage cancer (like I didn't know that) I go back and sadly tell them it didn't work I had such high hopes after so much suffering.

They say it's not working and they are not going to do the other side. They send me home with ms contin 30 mg twice a day and dilauded 30 mg 4 times a day. I'm on my third day of no pain I'n over 18 months. It's like I'm experiencing things for the first time. A shower is to be enjoyed not just to shave pain off.

Then I read all this stuff.

Now I'm scared, I've never been addicted I'n my life always could just lay things down with no problem. I'm pain free do you have any idea what that means to me? But according to all of you I feel like I've taken my first steps down a path that I'll regret.

I'm scared and need advice
Plz help me

[vicki595]

Jackie-  What's going on today?  Don't be mad at us. There are other members here who need a little support and it's the weekend.

Lulu and Bama have posted often to you. Bama has gone to a 21 day rehab. Did you know that?  Try to keep posting, as well. When you do that, it will bring your comment to the top of this page which draws attention to it, as you have just seen.

Anything in particular that's urgent today?

[ricart70]

Hi Jackie,if you post on this thread it will bump it up to the top of the list.
We have had an overwhelming amount of new posters and addicts wanting to get off etc.When someone posts it bumps the previous posts down and they get lost. I think maybe because the new year.Anyway,we are always here.Someone is anyway. Sorry

[thebellepoque]

and hey, if you're lonely or something, there are a ton of user groups or..just..all sorts o stuff. Sometimes people "lose the threads" meaning they cant find them after other threads are posted. You didn't offend anyone..Don't be so hard on yourself! You are in pain, very legitimate pain, and you have no problem controlling yourself. Don't live in pain OR live in fear!

[Joycemac]

My problem with pain pills is I can not get them. You will go broke buying them. If I had a legimate reason I would take them as directed. When you start taking more than you will know it's starting to be a problem.

[IBKleen]

People are not responding because you haven't asked a question. There is great support here but you will have to let us know what you need help with?

You are on day 10 now? How are you feeling?

[lulu747]

Hi Jackie..
Please don't feel abandoned-it's the weekend and quiet around here.  You have not overstayed your welcome...I feel your pain-I have been on all the medication you are on now.  It's difficult to answer questions as we are not doctors and everyone reacts to medication differently.  If you are very concerned please go to urgent care and get medical support.  What exactly do you need from us?  I am happy to give you support in any way I can and send you my prayers....Lu