struggling at 5 months

[justin21]

Im coming up with about 3 or 5 days left untill i get 5 months. For some reason today im really struggling im working alot and going to school community college. 5 months ago i was laying in icu from an overdose. i woke up to a doctor telling me i probally had hiv because i had pneumonia. He was wrong and apologized later. But I do not understand how i can even think about using drugs again. I even went as far as to call and ask my man for 20 xanax. Im working the steps currently on step 8 and going to a support group once a week.
Can anyone with over 5 months and who is not on a maintence drug tell me how they made it through with out using. I guess everything is going to well now i have forgotten. Im about to get a car my parents love me again. I just dont understand.

[justin21]

ended up buying 30mg of xanax but i flushed it huray

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

I was just talking with some people about this. It is a lifelong fight. I think that I just put my energy into this forum and friends. Have made some friends from this forum that are great people. And reading about others struggles does remind you that you don't want to do that any more. Helping another person out gives you a tremendous feeling of self worth. I can't say that the thought doesnt cross my mind, but not as often any more - and its easier and easier to just dismiss that thought.

[worried878]

I know...how r u enemy?...the intervention on cravings list in the health pages is a good thing to review from time time...I may print another copy as my brother is here for the weekend and did not want all my addict stuff around!

[enemy48]

I'd say that you and I are at the same length of time.

I still have temptations, but mostly when I'm around someone influential.  

What's helped me the most is creating a new life.  Although my problem was always MY secret, it lead to how I chose to live.

Look back on the struggle you had when using.  It seems as though life were better, but that's when your DOC were plentiful.  Thingk of how much the bad outweighed the good.

Let me know the outcome.

Best Wishes.

[worried878]

I am close to 4 months...everything sounds good in ur life...mine is going ok as well..no major upsets...and i go to meetings, post and i still have the cravings...chasing that buzz...I am not sure how ong it will stay in our minds...it is less and less and i am not depressed often anymore...energy is close to normal...i may see a hypnotist!  LOL