I am back the new relapse queen

[dedicatedtostop]

Not gonna go into detail so of you may know me. Ii was clean for over a year and all it took was 1 time. Well here I am a year later worse off than ever. With that said I woke up one day an realized how bad I was screwing my life up, affecting my family and etc. Not to mention the fact that I am lucky I am not in jail. So I took the plunge and dove in again. I am at the end of day 2 and all has been pretty much as expected.
The difference this time... I told everyone. My whole family. My family, well I like to say thick as Theives. With that said I am FORCING my self to eat and FORCING exercise. You get out of it what you put in right?!! I have 2 little girls and a family that is my world and I know if it don't stop I will die. Crazy thing is I wasn't raised this way and I know better. I have everything in the world yet I have nothing:(... What I do feel right now is no more guilt and no more feeling like I am living a lie. But man it sure does suck. I am fighting for my life here. Anyways, I am going in with a different approach and really just wanted to get back established here. The time I quit for a year I swear I could not have done it without this forum... Just looking for more support

[dedicatedtostop]

Never a need to apologize here

[dedicatedtostop]

I would stay(from personal experience) he wants and needs to be alone. From knowing that feeling it may be best to give him that time, and yes it is this horrible sickness talking. If he stays on the path of being clean he will come around. Trust me I know how it feels to not want to be around anyone, and I have 2 children!!!!! It really is at times what us addicts need. You probably don't want to hear that but I am sorry it's the truth. 3-4 days and he will start feeling a bit better. Sadly for you, he probably does need this. Tomorrow is another day. Sorry for you that you have to go through this.... Addiction affects everyone involved. Give him the time he needs for himself and he will come around

[confusedkitty]

im so sorry i dont know why i just poured my heart out in that last message, but ive nobody i can talk to about any of this because despite beeing the nicest guy in the world (even on meth) my family would totally disaprove  if they knew what exactly was going on.. again my appoligies

[confusedkitty]

I understand how hard it must be (i cant even quit cigerettes) i do love him very much, i didnt really want to go into this because i know this isnt a relationship site but all along i told him id stand by him through it all and he said thats what he wanted and we were planning our future for when he gets clean and today totally out of the blue he tells me he cant do it anymore and that i need to forget about him... i know hes been terribley depressed over the last week in particular and guilt ridden but my problem is i cant just walk away but hes made it quite clear he doesnt want to hear from me, and i dont know if thats him talking or the withdrawals im just so lost and confused....

[dedicatedtostop]

If you truly love him stick by his side no matter how bad it gets. But I would prepare for the worst in the coming days. What you need to remember is that us addicts are not ourselves while on drugs, it is when we are clean, we are ourselves. I won't lie, it will be tough. One of(in my opinion) is the worst thing anyone in the world can go through is detox. He will be sick and moody. If you love him, stick by his side. What we all need the most when going through something like this is someone there by our side to support us and love us.

[confusedkitty]

thanks for your fast reply! its not me coming off it its actually my boyfriend the problem is im totally clueless to how bad it actually gets at the moment the psychological withdrawls seems to be the worst part hes been on 3mgs for the last two days and is coming off it completly tomorrow and im Terrified!!! As it is i dont know who he is hes become somebody totally different to the man i know and love over the past two weeks while tapering down and i was just anxious to know what way he would be when he finally gets free from this horrible stuff. i guess i wanted to know "will i get him back"