I am stuck in hell

[colinsplace66]

I am new to these forums but found myself gravitating to them as I am really hurting and needed advice. I stated going to a pain management clinic about 9 months ago after having sergury and having pain as a result. Honestly, I could deal with the pain. I liked the way the Percocet made me feel and convinced my doctor to refer me to a pain clinic. The pain clinic gave me 2 scripts. 1 for 30mg Morphine extended release 2 times a day and 1 for 15mg Oxycodone 5 times a day. I have been going through the Oxy in just over 2 weeks and then use the Morphine to hopefully get me throgh the next 2 weeks till I can fill my scripts again and then it starts all over again. 3 times, I have run out a few days before I could fill my scripts. 3 times I went through the worst pysicle and mental hell I have ever experienced. I am tired of thinking about this all the time and counting my pills. I have a good job and I have missed several days over this when sick. I am married and half 2 great young kids. My wife does not know I am doing this. She works in the helth care industry and knows my addictive personality and would be very mad if she knew what I was doing. When I run out and get sick she thinks I just have the flu. I want off this stuff so bad. I have put my job and my marridge and my life on the line here and it has to stop. I am ashamed of myself and find myself crying about it all the time. I am overly emotional for some reason. I started doing research online and was terified to find out how difficult it is to get off this stuff. I had no idea. I cannot got to detox. My wife would lose it. I dont think I would be able to keep my job either. I have to get off them on my own. I have another appointment with my pain doctor in a week and I am going to tell him that I want to get off these pills and hope he will help me rather than just cut me off. I cannot trust myself with the pills. I have a gal I work with that is very nice and says she had the same problem with her husband and she was able to take control of his meds and gradially ween him off of them. He is clean now. I gave her my pills. She is going to despence them to me and bring me down off them slowly. My question is, am I doing the right thing? Will this work? What do I do when I am out? Should I ask the doctor for something to take at that point to help ween me off further? I appreciate any help I can get. I don't really have a support system.

[ricart70]

phia you had withdrawals because this is an opiate the same as any others.One thing that I really wish I knew is why does everyone think tram is not anopiate.  I guess that's what the doc tells everyone but he is wrong.
Why even risk it colin

[phiaNorcoqueen]

it's not an narcotic yet.. But with that said it does work on the same place of the brain just like the opiates do..  and i took them for a while before and low and behold when i stopped them i had horrible withdrawals .. This supposed safe non addictive drug.. But i don't if others have had problems but i know i did..  But hey do your research on the drug first ok!!  hey i'm glad you are feeling better..  and keep on keepin' on..

Sophia

[colinsplace66]

Does anyone know if Tremadol is an opiate? If I took it will I have to withdrwal again?

[lulu747]

Colin I am so glad you posted and happy you are feeling better!

Hormone imbalance is a very common side effect of opiate use/abuse...And hormones are one of the strongest governing forces in our bodies/brains.  It takes some work and a holistic approach to our health to find balance post-opiates...I hope your journey in recovery continues with more ease each day...
Lu

[texaslady68]

Great news Colin.  I am so relieved you are feeling better.

When I was taking the pills, I became severly anemic.  I still am, but not to the extent I was. (This can cause all kinds of problems)  It was so low, my doctor was trying to get me to have a blood transfusion.  

Funny, how we always talk about the mental part of our addiction such as depression, feelings, etc....We do not talk very often about all of the physcial/health problemns the pills can cause.

[Bkitty]

Yeahhhhhh!!! Im so happy that you feel better,,,I have been worrying about you. :)) Im so glad that you got that fixed. I had them check my hormones too and I had to go on the pill for that reason and because of my antidepressants. Mine were all out of whack as well. Keep us posted!! Hugs~Bkitty