Im cleaning my home and found 2 oxy 30s, There goes 50 bucks, in the toilet.. but u know what, Im more determined then anything to stay off them, They make me so sick.. I cant believe i just flushed them.. whats this mean? Have i reached the point where im just so tired, and i do not have another withdrawal in me at all, Im sad but happy at the same time.. Im emotional.
Wow, I have never flushed a pill in my life and always so amazed at people who can do it.
I guess I have never hidden any pills either. I always knew how many I had and where they were.
I still don't know what I would do if I found any. I would love to think I had the strength to flush them now.
You really should be proud of yourself because that takes a lot of strength.
Thank you guys! Ive flushed smaller things like hydro 5 but I in no way underestimate this because oxy 30 was my drug of choice, so i am proud, I just want to live clean, thats all i want, this **** makes me cry becuase it was hard but i can never go through w/d again, w/d has killed my father and almost killed me before, i just hope, i mean really hope i dont ever relapse.. I cant keep killing myself like this, this disease is the worst, these pills make made so sick when i took them, and tripple sick when i came off, btw, i dont have the option of sub or methodone, and im glad although this is hell, I do not like what i have become but on the bright side, I can start new, I just proved to myself, I can do this.. I have always been a strong person but opiate addiction has had a grip on me from 5 years ago, Im free now, Thats all.
yes, It is a good feeling and was really hard, yep 25 bucks a piece even though im still going through hell, not that bad and not enough to go back, BUT i also knew that if i took them, tomorrow i would be off to the races and i dont want that anymore, Im tired, really tired of speeding of to the races when i ran out of them.. I didnt even think twice about flushing them, something came over me and like took me to my bathroom and dropped them in the toilet, flushed and didnt look back. If i can do it.. Trust, you guys can Munster the courage to do the same if needed.
thanks guys, its not easy to flush, thats my first time in 5 years doing that, i guess theres comes a point where you just cant go through the w/d anymore,
@ Bubulous I havent had a dream like that yet, but mabe someday, this is what i try to do, Make it a point to Remember your own withdrawl experence, I was watching a video on youtube about oxy contin and how people would go through a week of **** and feel fine then resort back to using again, wash,rinse and repeat, I cant repeat anymore.. actually i believe the video was on heroin, heres the link.. I DO repeat this video as much as i need to.
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