I just can not quit, feel like it is taking over my life

[divorceddruggie]

I have been addicted to oxys for a few years, I have tried to quit a few times, cold turkey, through detox, even tried lowering my dosage, I feel like this is taking overmy life and job, I don't know what to do, It gets worst each and every day, my tolerance is up to 10 80's a day, I do not want methadone, as I beleive it is swapping one drug for another, nothing against methadone sounds great but just not for me, I need suggestions or advice on how i can get this done, I do want to quit, just have run out of ideas

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

If you are taking 10 80's a day, I strongly suggest that you detox under medical supervision. That is a dangerously high dose.

I hope you get the help you need.

[dominosarah]

I agree with IBK.....You need help with this.  

[divorceddruggie]

I can't go to the doctor and tell him, as he will dismiss me as a patient,(I know this from previous patients) and I cannot go to the hospital again, as I did and they said to contact my physician but offered something called "protocol". The place I work cannot know I have this addiction as it could cost me my job or at minimum my position, they will see it as a possible conflict of trust. So any other suggestions would be good, Is there suppliments I can take to help while I drop my dosage? I would like to go from 10 to lets say 8 in this week coming if possible, then the same the following week, and continue till I am low enough to try cold turkey, or with what the hospital called protocol. What is protocol? The hospital was not very forthcoming with information as I declined it.

[IBKleen]

I don't know what protocol is in Canada. Perhaps someone else can help you with that.

In the meantime, here is the link to The Amino Acid Protocol (oddly enough):

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Amino-Acid-Protocol/show/15?cid=66

Many members have found the supplements helpful during withdrawal.

Please be careful whatever you decide.

[dominosarah]

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Amino-Acid-Protocol/show/15?cid=66

This is a link to the amino acids.  Tapering sounds like a good plan for you.

[divorceddruggie]

I shall read the information on the site, thank-you for the information,

To:  dominosarah

  Thank-you for the link I appreciate the extra link, I will read both and try them to reduce my intake.

[divorceddruggie]

I have been advised by someone that if I can get my intake down to 5 a day I could try Cold Turkey, I have done a lot of research and have a rough idea of what I can expect, is there anyone out there that can tell me first hand what to expect? I have vacation time saved as well as all my sick leave, so taking time off I can do. Can someone tell me how much time I should book off, I have 3 weeks available to me, will I need all this time? I have posted on a couple of sites but they seem to not either be used any longer or no one answered me in a week, does this site still have a few active members?

[IBKleen]

Sorry it seems like there is just a few of us today. Actually, this site has been around a long time and is very active. That being said, today is the start of a summer weekend and it will be quiet. Hang around as members come on and off over the weekend and you will get more responses.

I have been through withdrawal a few times I would say and each was different. the more I kept using and the older I got, the more intense the detox became. So in that department everyone is different.

I would hope 3 weeks is good to get back on your feet. I gotta tell you, jumping at 5 80's is going to hurt...big time. Symptoms can include chills, sweats, pain, restless legs, bathroom issues, headaches and a spike in your blood pressure. That is what scares me for you.

Is there anyone...friend? Family? That can help you with a taper?

[divorceddruggie]

Sorry, I am at work so I must be careful, however no there is no one now that can do that for me, As you can see by my user name I am divorced, she left couldn't do it anymore, and all she asked is I quit and I couldn't. So no, this is why my push now is to win her back. Thats to give you an idea of how motivated I am.

[IBKleen]

Talk when you can. I am glad you found your way to this site and you are reaching out for help.

It is great to be motivated and hope you work things out with your marriage but do this for YOU..not anyone else right now. Do it because you want your old self back and you want to live your life without the use of drugs. Then go get the girl!!

[atthebeach]

as you taper you will begin to feel the withdrawal. tapering is very hard and takes an extremely discipline on your part especially if you have no one to hold the pills for you.
begin your taper as you mentioned before, start it today. remember to stay active, drink lots of fluids, as you begin to taper and the withdrawals start you will be tempted to take another pill to stop the feeling. this is when you will need to be strong and very determined to continue with your plan. as you begin your taper see how you feel ahd hold off on the vacation time or scheduled days off and if you dont feel well enough into it then call out sick a day or two. take it day by day.
your first priority should be to get clean for yourself and then for your wife. i am the wife of a recovering addict he has been clean for 16months after a 14 yr. relapse very very hard on our family and marriage. i know exactly how she feels. not a fun life. i was finally ready to file for divorce because after many repeated attempts for my husband to be clean he continued to relapse, lie,deceive, steal our finances, fight, deny, hurt, my children & i. he went into a christian drug & alcohol rehab. stayed for 3 months. we are healing day by day. the hardest thing for me is all the dyfunctional years we cant get back in our marriage and our childrens childhood.i also have trust issues still after so many broken promises and deceit. the LORD is really helping us. there is hope. move forward with your own recovery, dont push her to hard. let her see the results. i really do hope and pray that you are ready to become a recovering addict and not an active one. you will be so glad you glad. ask the LORD to break the chains of addiction that have you bound.
sending you blessings
debbie

[reallyneedhelp76]

Hi just read your post.  you say you were taking 10 80's a day, im not familar with what that is, r u talking about oxy's?  Sorry for my ignorance!

So, i see your close in age but what's your generally health like?  Good?  Health problems?  Blood pressure issues?  Or like me just addictedd?  Was your doctor prescribing them to you?  That will make a difference if he gives you the boot or not.  I know someone who lives in Canada and if the doctor is px'ing them they CAN"T give you the boot.  

This site is really helpful and we're all here to help you!

[divorceddruggie]

I am doing this for me, I do want the wife back but I believe it is too late for that. I can't have a relationship as an addict, I don't steal or lie, but I could see how it can happen, and I was never abusive to the family. I just did them and didnt care what she thought of it, in the living room, kitchen, No my doctor does not perscribe them to me, I buy them from a friend, i get them cheap as i get quantity. I just can't continue with this life, I can't have a relationship, I can't get promoted at work, as I would be around others more often traveling and such.I need to do this for me and my own life, I would love to see the old me back, the only thing the pills have done is make me antisocial and loose a few pounds and lazy. My work is affected by them often as I will cut corners or skip things altogether.
  I understand how my ex wife feels, she was vocal on that when she left, I was given the chance to quit to keep her tried for 2 or 3 days and said "I wish you the best but I can't quit" she was gone the next morning, and left a note telling me how I neglected her, put burnt holes in most things we owned, and if I wasn't doing them, I was getting them.
  I am glad that this site is still running there are a few that there maybe one person at the site but that would be about it, a lot of unanswered questions were still on the walls, I appreciate all of your responses, and look forward to communicating further,
As for the taper, I know that no one can give medical advise, but does someone have a suggestion as to how I should taper or the amount I should do and over what period of time. I found a lot during my research but so much was a contradiction to each other,
I will be leaving work soon, but can log in at home, so please feel free to respond I will look forward to all advice

[divorceddruggie]

I missed a question, yes my health is good except for the addiction, otherwise I have no known issues, I am just addicted to oxycontin, plain and simple.

[reallyneedhelp76]

giving out suggestions on tapering is not allowed on the site but you need to realize that tapering is really hard and it takes massive discipline.  you need to pick something and just stick to it whatever it is, everyone is different  i think.  so make sure you know for sure how much your really taking and make your decision how to do it and stick with it.  

do u have any friends that could help u do u?

[MrNewHope]

I'm gonna stay positive as so should you.

You've got a lot of hope in you just by reading your story and guess what? Our lives change when we get clean, so I'm willing to bet your life would change for the better, should you get through this. I agree you need a GOOD doctor to help you with the taper if you choose to do so.  Come up with a plan, take a look at the calendar and try to choose a date.

Don't feel alone because I guarantee you have someone here online that has your back.  Also some of the best success stories are found on this site  and would definitely lift up your spirits.

I like to think I give off an effect of good luck to the people I meet and today it's all yours brother.  Good luck.

[vicki595]

Hi!  You can do this,it won't be easy but it wasn't for any of us and there are many stories here...it's not totally horrible either!!   You just need to get going!!

Your taper plan sounds good BUT I'd drop ONE not TWO and wait a week,see how you feel,and drop another. It's a very high dose so you need to go very,very slowly and in small amounts. That's the secret to tapering.  We can't provide a specific plan on the forum but we can tell you to be prudent. It's not a race, go slow and easy and don't jump off at 5, that's still too high.  I really need to stress how important it is to see a doctor for this. A doctor can support you medically and keep an eye on your blood pressure,etc...there are also meds that will help the process. Perhaps you can see a new doctor? Just for this?

You also need to get in to some kind of recovery program,see a therapist,something!! It's important to have the support face to face!

Stay in touch and just go easy!!

[divorceddruggie]

I am thinking I may drop 1 a week for a couple weeks, then another for a week, and keep dropping 1 every week till I was down to 5, but you say 5 is still really high so I may wait till I am down to 2 a day then try it, I can have a long weekend each weekend if I wish, just work 4 10's or 12's, give me my 40 and overtime if I want it. So I can do the drop on Fridays and give myself 3 days to get used to it, if that will work? I can appreciate that no one can give me a taper plan but can someone tell me if my plan will work or not, based on other people as I realize everyone is different. As for seeing a doctor that isn't an option, and none of my friends know I have this problem, nor do my parents. I will post as often as possible for feedback and post how I feel, maybe it will let others know whats it's like for me, Hace a nice evening,

[ImDONENoMore]

Okay - here we go!!

divorceddruggie -  try to keep your expectations in check for feeling better for a while.  Knowing what to expect can help a lot right now.  Go slow with the process and allow your body to adjust with each drop.  Vicki's right - it's not a race and you want to succeed so that means doing the taper properly and also realizing that you're not going to feel so great.  But it's SO worth it you'll see.  Life without drugs is a million times better than on them.  So stay strong and keep posting - this place will be of great support to you.

Good luck to you!  p.s. and your plan sounds good to me as far as making the drop before the weekends - it will be good to have that extra time to go easy on yourself.

[vicki595]

Yes!!   I agree...your plan sounds very good!  Just go slow...that's really the trick and jumping off at two is still 160mg so you'll just have to see how that goes...that would be a good time to take a week off from work!

Definitely keep posting and we'll do what we can to help. I'll say it again: Don't completely rule out seeing a doctor about this..just think about it some more...

[divorceddruggie]

Well Good Morning

   I asked someone in message this question, so I will post it here also and see if I can get an aswer from several people, I can and do snort 2 80mg oxys and orally take 4 2mg Valium and sleep , but I cannot sleep more than 6-7 hours, and when I wake up I am sick, and I do not mean just feel ill, I am sick, I would think that taking the Valium and the oxy's I could get more than 6-7 hours of sleep. Durring the day, if i am not doing much at work I can go a few hours with none, If I am running around I use more, So I have noticed that the more excercise I do the shorter they stay in my system, however when I am sleeping I am doing nothing, so why not last 8-10 hours?
  I understand I need to take it slow and will, as i do not like feeling sick at all, so I will do each drop by 1 a week, maybe 2 weeks, I figure betweeen 10-20 weeks I should have my tolerance lowered so withdrawls are not so bad, I hope, I read the post above saying 2 is still alot , so should I continue and drop to 2 for a week or so?
  I will keep posting and let everyone know how it is working for me, and get any questions answered I may have, I am glad this site is still running and has people at it, as I mentioned I have checked a few sites and alot don't seem to work or don't have anyone manning it anymore, so thanks

[Emily_MHManager]

Hi everyone -

Please note that we can not allow tapering schedules to be posted.  We can't possibly know a person's entire medical history, and tapering may exacerbate some medical conditions, and a person may have an underlying condition they aren't yet aware of.

This is noted in the Posting Guidelines, so please check those out.  They are at the top of the forum, first thread listed, "Welcome, Please read before posting".  http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/WELCOME-PLEASE-READ-BEFORE-POSTING--/show/1051807

Thanks,
Emily

[divorceddruggie]

To: The Moderator
  I won't ask again, I had hoped that any information may have been some help since there are people here that have done it, on other sites there were to many contradictions. I will only post what I am doing and how and await feedback from that, if that is acceptable.

[divorceddruggie]

I have picked a date to start reducing my consumption, and will take my time doing it so as to keep the WD at minimum so I can function at work each day without my superiors realizing anything may be wrong, at worst a cold. I am going to give myself 12 weeks till I take some vacation time to finish off the process, I realize this can be done as there are several who have done it before me, as for expectations, I realize I will feel a little under the weather but dont expect to feel too sick dropping 1 pill each week or so, I could be wrong, but will soon find out, Thank You for your responses and for the encouragement it is much appreciated.

DivorcedDruggie