I've been so hesitant to ask for opinions on this, but...

[Jacqui805]

Oh God, I can't believe I'm gonna do this....may sound trivial to some, but for me, with all that's happened to me regarding poor treatment, it's not.  A couple weeks ago, some of you may remember the "state" I was in.  I could not stand not sleeping anymore, along with the severe anxiety, all from the w/d.  I was right in the middle of switching docs., and the one I'm going to see, who's been actually helping me with my health issue, swears the one I did see is as much of a putz as I think she is, and has been negligent with me.  She sat on her butt all the while I was getting sicker and sicker, and now some of this damage may be permanent.  Anyway, here's the issue at hand..

She was my doc. at the time two weeks ago, although I had not seen her since '06 (she had me on the med.).  I called out of desperation to get some relief, and, she obliged, but had her nurse have me set up an appt. with her.  I made that appt. for two weeks from then, which falls tomorrow.  Like an axe, for me.  I'm petrified of her.  It's not a doc./pt. thing so much as it being pis*ed off at her, knowing she's not done o.k. by me, ignored problems that others docs. picked up, and wouldn't take their advice, or listen to me plead to send me to The Mayo Clinic.  I loathe her, and I am going to see a new doc. within two weeks.  I'm also afraid I will not be able to hide my contempt for her, and afraid of the venom I might spew.  Trouble is, I feel "obligated" to go for the one time visit because she prescribed me the "help" to get through the end of the w/d.  I've been counting down every day, and sweating out tomorrow.  I'm so embarrassed to be putting this here, but I am not sure what to do.  Fear can mess my thinking up in the worst way.  Any suggestions?

Jacqui

[swtbreezie]

HEY I like that "spinning"  wow that is what I was doing for 2 and a half years I feel like my eyes are crossed lol wow I have thought and thought looking for a term for it.  I now keep one foot on the floor so I don't spin anymore like the next day after drinking and no I don't drink but I did a couple times and didnt like the results I spinned out of control and I had to put my foot on the floor to stop even my hair hurt lol  SO drink was NOT my answer.  I don't want anything to run my life any longer, if I have pain I want to feel it, if I have depression I want to experience it and get past it.  I want to sleep and be able to dream again,  I am sleeping but still not remembering my dreams, maybe that will come with time.  THANKS toxic!
swtbreezie

[GoingToMakeIt]

Jacqui what trauma for one day. My 2 cents is that you should not go. Bad medicine and bad advice is not what you need. Love your hubby anyway and ask him to please understand. GL

[Jacqui805]

You know, everytime you think you've scraped the **** off of your plate, someone or something seems to plop another serving on it!  I finally felt at ease with my decision, and I just got a call from my husband.  He's not pleased that I cancelled.  He said he'd have been better about it if I had the appt. with the new doc. tomorrow, but I don't.  We "discussed" it back and forth, and although, I still feel perfectly justified in my decision, I'm feeling dejected.  I feel like I've disappointed the man I respect and love so much.  I suppose he's just worried, but it kills me nonetheless.  He was kinda raised that docs. are the **it, and he doesn't understand the similarities between not takin' your car to a bad mechanic and not goin' to a bad doc.  He thinks a bad one is better than no one, and I think he thinks I'm not gonna see anyone.  Maybe he's worried, I don't know.  I just hate having to feel like pleasing everyone.  It's way too much on my shoulders.  Confused, get your butt over here and baby me all you like.

[confused456]

OH........AND P.S. that was not sexual ppl.....!!!!! Just so u know! LOL

[confused456]

Jacqui, well I am at the point where I am beginning to feel like I am going backwards, so maybe I need to drive over and "baby" ya for a few days.....LOL....that is if you think you can handle me!!

[swtbreezie]

I'm glad you came to terms with it.  Ihate to see you stressing so badly.  And I hope you feel a little better too with your pain stress can make you tense and it really exascerbates the problem.  hugzzzzzzz
swtbreezie

[Jacqui805]

Thanks.  I've handled it now, and feel better for having done so.  I know I will eventually need to see her face to face, to get it off my chest....but now's just not the right time.  I don't need the extra stress and frustration.  

I appreciate your comments so much.

Jacqui

[newmanagment]

Call and tell em your done, if she doesnt listen to ya neway, then what good will it do for you to go in and speak with her.As worried said, she is not worrying about this tonite!! And why do you feel obligated to keep an appointment, she didnt feel obligated to get  you the help you wanted, even when you did all the work? I own a small construction business, when i fire an employee i do it face to face. but it sounds like she hasnt earned the right to expect that same curteosity. good luck in whatever you decide!!!

[Jacqui805]

I feel SO relieved that I cancelled.  It helped to put it out on the table so to speak, because I didn't want to trust my subjective feelings while I was so fearful.  In the end, my mind is at ease, and I feel like I took a more proactive step, rather than unnecessarily cause myself more aggravation.  I will address her in the future though.  I just need to be further along this road to health and well-being before I do so.  

You probably didn't see my last post regarding this, but I will address her because I not only don't want her to get away with it, but I will not tolerate her doing it to others either.

Thanks so much!

Jacqui

[worried878]

Personally...I would not go...The doc probably is not worrying about this tonight at all and probably would not even notice that you do not show up....If you think it will make you feel better, I guess i would go...I just cant spend any extra energy right now on stress that will not be constructive or change anything...everyone's coping mechanisms are different tho...and I would be mad as heck that she failed to diagnose you...she may need to hear that so that it does not happen again and she is more careful next time...that would be the only reason I would go is to possibly help the next person who sees her with a problem so she may take a closer look and not miss anything like she did with you...good luck with whatever you decide to do...you sound so much better lately!

[Jacqui805]

I handled the issue.  I was spinning, and it was driving me nuts.  The person helping me now, in conjunction with the new doc. called me to say he had called her and wants me to see him, and she even forgot to tell him about the new heart troubles.  He still wants to see me.  I asked her, she's an oncology nurse, for her opinion, and she not to go to the other doc.  No good was gonna come out of it.  Incidentally, there's no right or wrong here, so any of you who suggested otherwise, your points were duly noted.  My eldest, who's as peeved as I am over all of this, and has seen me suffer, and suffered as a result of "losing" her mom to some extent, wanted me to go just so she could give her hell.  She's like me, so, she'd have given the she-doc a real run.  I almost considered the aggravation just so she could get it off of her chest.  

At some point, a little further on, this doc. shall be confronted.  I cannot let her get away with this, and I cannot let her do it to anyone else.  I am thanking you all for listening to me and for all of your opinions.  I cannot tell you how relieved I was just by letting it out!

Jacqui

[swtbreezie]

Hi  and I agree with most it is not worth the upset if you have another good doc.  BUT if she cued you damage you might want to visit an attorney instead of her and tell them your story.  I am not in favor of law suits but sometimes doctors cn cause irrepairable harm when things arent done such as blood work and stuff.  Just a thought sweetie.
hugzzzzzzz I think you need one
swtbreezie

[toxictome]

OK...you need to stop spinning...when i spin over something...these are the issues that will take me back out there.

I've learned thru AA I need to stay in the day...do what i can do about the problem today...and when tomorrow comes..i will do what i can for it that day...but if i just SPIN in it...i create the fear/frustration/anger....
Remember....one day at a time!!!

NO MORE SPINNING!!!   promise???   LOL

[Flutterby111]

I believe that Medical coverage is by  far THE most expensive service we pay for and we get treated with the least regard...I should say I not we....I should speak on my behalf..sorry.  I've learned not to feel obligated anymore...I pay them alot of money and I deserve top notch service.  THey owe me, not me owe them, you follow?  I've filed complaints on doctors and actually had visits comp'd because of it.  You need to do what is least stressful for you and most beneficial...it is all about you sister...period...you, your health, your sanity, your safety, your money, your everything.  

[Jacqui805]

I actually don't need the pills anymore.  Don't even take 'em.  I took 'em for a few days.  Ain't that the kicker?  This whole issue is a sore spot for me even more so, as a nurse, I know how she SHOULD be, and I know what she SHOULD do, and for the life of me, I cannot, above all, understand how or why she could have treated me so poorly.  I'm a human being!  I don't deserve this, no one does.  I tried coming at her from every aspect, and even had other docs. speak on my behalf.  You just can't make someone see something if they've got their eyes closed I suppose.  It's supremely frustrating, and hurtful.  Thanks for your input Johnny.

[Jacqui805]

Thanks so much for your opinions.  And no Mimi, I did not take it the wrong way, I always appreciate a girl who's got someone's back!  

I have a lot of fight, will, somehow hidden strength, and tenacity in me.  I even know my rights as a client/patient, like toxic was saying, and it's still so hard for me when clouded by fear/frustration.  I have been really bothered by this for most of the past two weeks and was SO embarrassed to even think about putting this us here, let alone the fact that I was having such a hard time decision making on this particular issue.  

Thanks.  I knew you'd all be supportive, but I'm my own worst enemy I suppose, and, aren't we all?

Jacqui

[johnnykelly]

Hello Jacquie, you are doing the right thing,confronting the problem.Jacquie do you think that maybe!! this woman may be oblivious to the fact there are commumication issues. Jacquie some of these people are very self-centred and only think about us (PATIENTS) when they open our file.I have experienced a dr. barely remembering my name,only when he looked at that file.IF you come across in a hostile manner,well that will immediately put up a barrier to any useful meeting.Why not get a supply of pills to told you over for 1month or so and in the uinterim,get a new better suited physican.Remember if you come across with attitude then that might damage any useful comprmises. goodluck john

[Chi_Chi_Lover]

i agree with Confused. Why go? You don't owe this doctor anything just cancel and if they ask why say you found another doctor. Don't stress over going to this doctor you are dropping. It's not worth it.
Cheers!!!

[toxictome]

As a consumer/patient, it is your right to hire/fire whoever you want to give/not give
you medical care. I think at this point I would blow it off. Just call the office and say" I'd like to cancel my appt. for tomorrow. Thank you." If they ask if you want to reschedule, say you'll call back...it's not like they will chase you down. The Dr. probably won't even know...I just can't see paying another office visit, for what????

Or wait until after you see the other Dr...it's really up to you, but if i wasn't getting the treatment i thought i deserved..i sure wouldn't keep returning...

Best of luck!!!.

[mimi1313]

I hope you didn't take that the wrong way. I just get very emotional when I have to confront someone who has done something as wrong as what your doctor has done to you. I'm a big baby and cry easily. As a medical professional, I'm sure you could hold it together much better than I.

As for the belittling, I think that is warranted in this case. I changed my mind, Maybe you should go. It may be very cathartic for you.

[confused456]

HI TWIN......MISSED YOU BUNCHES!!!
OK, I say, call and cancel, tell them that you got a call from the school about your daughters field trip that you signed up for and its tomorrow. If they ask you to reschedule, say, I'm sorry, but I already have a different doctor, or if you don't wanna tell 'em that, just say you have to check your schedule and call them back, but don't call back. I think its going to do more harm than good!!!!

[Jacqui805]

Mimi, I meant to thank you for your support too.  Sorry if it sounded like I was yelling.  I didn't mean it that way.

Thanks Marce. I appreciate every word and every opinion.

[Jacqui805]

Feoh, thanks for the support.

Mimi,

Trouble is, I've told her over and over, and had my husband, and several doctors tell her what she should be doing.  She kept telling us over and over at appts. she would get it done, even writing it in the chart.  Then, she would say, when we'd call her or go to see her, she didn't know how.  So, I'D DO ALL THE LEGWORK, and tell her, HERE, JUST DO THIS.  She wouldn't.  Even tomorrow, I can be totally professional, but who wants to sit in front of someone who refuses to listen, talk about your brick wall.  I'm thinking I'm just gonna frustrate myself.  I've reasoned with her as another medcial professional to another, and she just did nothing.  The venom I may spew, wouldn't be shouting or crying, more like how pis*ed I am, and how wronged I was, and how I might suffer for the rest of my life because of it.. and that type of thing.  It may come out with a bad tone in my voice though, because I'd basically be telling a med. professional **** she should know, so it might sound belittling.  AH!!!!  

[Marce4]

I would cancel the appt?  It is SOOO not worth getting all worked up over this. Unless you think it will give you peace of mind to see her, you are well within your rights to see who you want, when you want. If it will make you feel worse or you think you might lose it on her than DON'T GO!  If you feel you can calmly and rationally explain to her how you feel, then go but do what is best for you, not because you feel some allegiance to her!
Good Luck in your decision,,,it will be the right one!