Aa
I'm being held hostage by a doctor...
About three years ago, I was dating a surgeon who convinced me to start accepting prescriptions that he was writing for hydrocodone 10mg for me that I'd give to him. He told me it was for neck pain he was having. At the time, he was co-signed on an apartment I had, and I was having a hard time paying the rent by myself, so I felt obligated to help him out in return. Whenever we'd get together, he'd always pressure me to take some too, but for almost a year I refused.
I have lupus, so I have some joint pain issues. During a weak moment while I was having a flare-up, I finally consented to take some. I took them all week with no idea how addictive they really were. Whenever I'd visit him, he'd feed me sometimes as much as 2 10mg pills during the few hours we were together.
Anyway, I got addicted. I have never in my life been addicted to anything other than cigarettes, and even those I've quit doing on and off when I got tired of it. I don't even like gambling. But this stuff really grabbed me tight, and I wasn't taking near the amount that he was. Still, every two weeks he'd write me a new Rx for 75 10mg pills, I'd take 10-15 and give him the rest.
It's been over a year now... I really don't know how long. We've long since broken up and now we're just "friends", but I don't even want to be that. Our relationship is pretty sick now, and I keep trying to get off the drugs, but he keeps calling me up and telling me he needs them, and it makes it hard. I've almost weaned myself three times.
He has me over a bit of a barrel. I have a son, and I'm afraid that if I tried to cut him off, get detox or anything else, that he'd use his credentials to get my son taken from me. I've got myself down to a maintenance dose of 1/2 of a 10 mg pill a day, which is enough to stave off the bad pain, but I still live with a borderline state of withdrawal... the pain, stomach problems, sleeplessness, irritability.
He's still doing somewhere between 3-6 10mg pills a day. This is while he's doing major surgery, often amputations on children. It's like that stupid show House, but real, and instead of screwing over his fellow doctors, it's a single mother with a chronic illness, no insurance and no money to defend myself if this had to go to trial or he called CPS. Since all the Rx's are in my name, I'm not sure I can prove that he's the one doing 75% of them. I've never been to his office or had any sort of medical examination from him that would justify prescribing a class 3 narcotic to a lupus patient, but I don't know if he could manufacture the records for it to cover himself.
Anyway, I'm tired these days and scared. I don't like being addicted. I don't like being dependent upon him and afraid of what he could do to me if I cut him off. When I spoke to an attorney about it, he couldn't assure me of my privacy. He just said that we could write him a letter and go for a settlement... that doesn't prevent him from lashing out.
I write this without any expectations. Just hope that maybe someone here has some idea of what I can do.
I have lupus, so I have some joint pain issues. During a weak moment while I was having a flare-up, I finally consented to take some. I took them all week with no idea how addictive they really were. Whenever I'd visit him, he'd feed me sometimes as much as 2 10mg pills during the few hours we were together.
Anyway, I got addicted. I have never in my life been addicted to anything other than cigarettes, and even those I've quit doing on and off when I got tired of it. I don't even like gambling. But this stuff really grabbed me tight, and I wasn't taking near the amount that he was. Still, every two weeks he'd write me a new Rx for 75 10mg pills, I'd take 10-15 and give him the rest.
It's been over a year now... I really don't know how long. We've long since broken up and now we're just "friends", but I don't even want to be that. Our relationship is pretty sick now, and I keep trying to get off the drugs, but he keeps calling me up and telling me he needs them, and it makes it hard. I've almost weaned myself three times.
He has me over a bit of a barrel. I have a son, and I'm afraid that if I tried to cut him off, get detox or anything else, that he'd use his credentials to get my son taken from me. I've got myself down to a maintenance dose of 1/2 of a 10 mg pill a day, which is enough to stave off the bad pain, but I still live with a borderline state of withdrawal... the pain, stomach problems, sleeplessness, irritability.
He's still doing somewhere between 3-6 10mg pills a day. This is while he's doing major surgery, often amputations on children. It's like that stupid show House, but real, and instead of screwing over his fellow doctors, it's a single mother with a chronic illness, no insurance and no money to defend myself if this had to go to trial or he called CPS. Since all the Rx's are in my name, I'm not sure I can prove that he's the one doing 75% of them. I've never been to his office or had any sort of medical examination from him that would justify prescribing a class 3 narcotic to a lupus patient, but I don't know if he could manufacture the records for it to cover himself.
Anyway, I'm tired these days and scared. I don't like being addicted. I don't like being dependent upon him and afraid of what he could do to me if I cut him off. When I spoke to an attorney about it, he couldn't assure me of my privacy. He just said that we could write him a letter and go for a settlement... that doesn't prevent him from lashing out.
I write this without any expectations. Just hope that maybe someone here has some idea of what I can do.
I do not want you to take what I said wrong, it was not my intention. It's that I want you to know what he is going to say if you try to get him in trouble and what the police would say to you if you went to them. They will say that like with any medication that you put into your' body you should read all the labels and the warnings that are on the bottle and read all information that is always attached to the sack when you get it from the pharmacy. That said it doesn't excuse the fact that he is doing this to you and I assure you that he is doing it to some of his physician freinds as well. He is probably taking many drugs and has you as just one of his suppliers. These people keep a steady flow of drugs form any and every source they can. I think you should read some of the physician statements about the use of Hyrocodone for pain. It does not effect the heart and does not effect the liver and would have to be taken in extremely high doses for several years in oreder to really start damaging your' body. If you will read ask a doctor website it will give you much needed iformation about hydrocodone and the effects on your' body. You are at such a small dose that I know it cannot be having these sort of withdrawal symptoms associated with the discontuinuation of 1/2 of a 5/5oo which would be equevilant to 2.5 mg of Hydrocodone a day. Unless you wieght 15 pounds that amount will not even effect your' body. Now I am like the other person on here that thinks that your' emotional state is what needs to be taken serious here. This man has you emotional fragile and in a state of paranoia about losing your' child. You will not lose your' son for this at all. I assure you of that. I am a little concerned that this attorney is trying to seek medical malpractice against this surgeon, because he did not really treat you. That is not the correct approach. You need an attorney to file a compliant with the medical board in your' state and they will bring him for a review. Trust me once he is reviewed for the complaint he will leave you alone. Please call someone like a psycologist for your' mental state you need some help. I will pray for you and keep you in my prayers untill I hear something on here from you. Godd Bless and remember you need to be strong. If you need to take something for the pain Motrin is non- addictive and will help you ward off the minor withdrawels you are experiencing.
Maybe the last poster had a good point. He's doing surgery on drugs. I hope you feel better and leave this bondage behind. Is the doc any good on guitar. I only ask this because I'm a guitar teacher.
the hospital is not going to "cover for him". You can contact the AMA (amer. medical assoc) on line and submit a formal complaint. He will be investigated. Do you want his "blood on your hands" when he makes some critical mistake because he is impaired? It is your civil duty to stop him, if all you've said so far is accurate...
Is this a true story? There is a beggining, middle, end-resolution all in one day. People on this board deal with for the most part the truth behind their addiction. I don't mean to sound so cold but I don't buy this at all - THERE IS MORE HERE YOU ARE NOT TELLING US. You have to be honest and forthright with us if we are to answer to you correctly. Honestly, it sounds like you are heavily addicted - chills and fevers?
The most ironic thing is that prob 8 years back on a soap i wanna say Another World - there was a storyline that is similar to yours but roles are reveresed in that the girlfriend got the doc hooked and made him write scrips. Stranger things have happened but could this be the case?
The most ironic thing is that prob 8 years back on a soap i wanna say Another World - there was a storyline that is similar to yours but roles are reveresed in that the girlfriend got the doc hooked and made him write scrips. Stranger things have happened but could this be the case?
These are normal symptoms. I think you are wise to not push the issue, even though I be He'd lose. It's best just to get clean for you and your child. Keep posting.
no...this is all part of the wd's...you will still have them, but they will be less than if you quit from a higher dose. Your stomach may be upset from nerves because he keeps contacting you, or it may be from wd's ..probably a little of both.
Stay strong...you will be fine..you can do this...you ARE doing this...
Stay strong...you will be fine..you can do this...you ARE doing this...
I'm not going to tell him anything. I think that threatening him will just push an already unstable person into behavior that I don't want in my life. My mother is with an alcoholic and I've seen how insane it can get when you push him.
Yes, I know that I have a moral quandary. He is doing surgery on drugs, and I was helping him do that. I have many nights sat up thinking about the amputee children, how hard that must be for the parents at all, and how utterly freaked out they would be if they knew that the doctor they trusted their child's limbs to was addicted to an opiate. Maybe it has no affect on his decision making process, but judging by his personal life, I doubt that.
But, I'm also not stupid and it is true that hospitals cover for their doctors. They loathe any legal action from an "outsider" that would cast judgment over their supreme authority over human bodies. The reality is that I am a single mother with no formal education, and though I am very intelligent, I have no piece of paper to say so and painted the right way by a skilled lawyer's brush, I could be made to look like the worst kind of trashy opportunist... and what good would that do? He does have money, and he has an enormous ego, so I figured the best way to appeal to him without inciting his pride to thrash me down was to make myself sound as non-threatening as possible.
I can't sleep now, and my stomach is pretty upset. I keep getting fevers and then chills. Is that normal? I don't know if I should be worrying. You guys make it sound like I shouldn't be experiencing any of these symptoms.
Yes, I know that I have a moral quandary. He is doing surgery on drugs, and I was helping him do that. I have many nights sat up thinking about the amputee children, how hard that must be for the parents at all, and how utterly freaked out they would be if they knew that the doctor they trusted their child's limbs to was addicted to an opiate. Maybe it has no affect on his decision making process, but judging by his personal life, I doubt that.
But, I'm also not stupid and it is true that hospitals cover for their doctors. They loathe any legal action from an "outsider" that would cast judgment over their supreme authority over human bodies. The reality is that I am a single mother with no formal education, and though I am very intelligent, I have no piece of paper to say so and painted the right way by a skilled lawyer's brush, I could be made to look like the worst kind of trashy opportunist... and what good would that do? He does have money, and he has an enormous ego, so I figured the best way to appeal to him without inciting his pride to thrash me down was to make myself sound as non-threatening as possible.
I can't sleep now, and my stomach is pretty upset. I keep getting fevers and then chills. Is that normal? I don't know if I should be worrying. You guys make it sound like I shouldn't be experiencing any of these symptoms.
You are doing the right thing here. And again, he would be in big trouble if they investigated this. Especially since you didn't go to him as a patient. Stick to your guns and quit the little bit you're on. Keep on posting.
lol....Not mad at you!
I agree w/dropping all connection with him.
As a last resort.....like if she does accidentally take his call, or runs into him.....and if he still harasses her, saying that may shut him up.....for good!
I mean, since her first email and his response, he's already written again and called her. Humph.
I agree w/dropping all connection with him.
As a last resort.....like if she does accidentally take his call, or runs into him.....and if he still harasses her, saying that may shut him up.....for good!
I mean, since her first email and his response, he's already written again and called her. Humph.
I'm sorry enemy, but I have to disagree. Don't be mad at me. I really don't think she should tell him about the lawyer or threaten him. Don't know what he is capable of with so much to loose. I think she should stop any and all connection with him. :)
If this man has any power over you whatsoever it is just in your mind...I am not really sure after reading all of this what exactly has transpired...only you really know all of the facts.......He has no power over you excpt what you allow...do not allow it
Forward those emails to a friend so that they're in more than one inbox just in case. Or better yet, forward them to that attorney you talked to.
Maybe if you come out and tell him that you've spoken to an attorney, and that the attorney has his emails, he might leave you alone.
Don't tell him which attorney. Attorneys can be bought. Doctors do this all the time!
Maybe if you come out and tell him that you've spoken to an attorney, and that the attorney has his emails, he might leave you alone.
Don't tell him which attorney. Attorneys can be bought. Doctors do this all the time!
Please stay calm and take care of yourself now. Get thru the withdrawels, keep your friend with you for support and hang on to the doc.'s e-mails. He has truely hung himself by putting this stuff in writing. Like everyone has said, there is nothing he can do to you, without himself loosing everything. Even if he's buddies with the higher ups, they will desert him if trouble starts brewing. He will not be protected.
Don't worry, this man is all talk. Just don't treaten him, back away and don't talk to him or e-mail him, nothing. Cut all ties now. If he calls, don't answer or let your friend tell him you are permanently unavailable. DO NOT TAKE HIS CALLS. I'm sorry, but this doc. does not love you, he loves his drugs. And don't think for a minute that he's gonna go thru withdrawels because he's out of pills. He'll get them, no problem.
As for you, i'm sure your gonna feel some withdrawels. But if you've tapper down to 1/2 a pill, it shouldn't be to bad. I beleive they should be fully out of your system in about 4 days (anyone, correct me if I'm wrong). You are going to feel crappy for about 5 days. Don't be surprised if you start to get extremely emotional and weird things pop into your head. This is normal. Don't act on them. Keep posting here. we'll help you thru this. Go easy on yourself and try not to get to stressed (I know,easier said than done).
Getting clean and taking care of your son is the #1 priority now. Make sure you drink lots of fluids,eat something and take hot baths.
Good luck, we're praying for you.
Magi
Don't worry, this man is all talk. Just don't treaten him, back away and don't talk to him or e-mail him, nothing. Cut all ties now. If he calls, don't answer or let your friend tell him you are permanently unavailable. DO NOT TAKE HIS CALLS. I'm sorry, but this doc. does not love you, he loves his drugs. And don't think for a minute that he's gonna go thru withdrawels because he's out of pills. He'll get them, no problem.
As for you, i'm sure your gonna feel some withdrawels. But if you've tapper down to 1/2 a pill, it shouldn't be to bad. I beleive they should be fully out of your system in about 4 days (anyone, correct me if I'm wrong). You are going to feel crappy for about 5 days. Don't be surprised if you start to get extremely emotional and weird things pop into your head. This is normal. Don't act on them. Keep posting here. we'll help you thru this. Go easy on yourself and try not to get to stressed (I know,easier said than done).
Getting clean and taking care of your son is the #1 priority now. Make sure you drink lots of fluids,eat something and take hot baths.
Good luck, we're praying for you.
Magi
I'm sorry, but I have to say this:
HIS HEAD NURSE IS LIVING IN HIS CARRIAGE HOUSE FOR FREE?
Hello? There's something in it for him! She's probably getting him pills too in trade for a place to live, or he's getting sex from her. I'm convinced that he has several connections for pills though.
I hope you're keeping evidence of his emails and messages. You may need this. He doesn't sound logical.....almost like a creep throwing out threats and may eventually stalk you.
On the other hand, watch your back. He sounds like he has power or influence. I don't mean to scare you, but I beleive he's more scared of you than what you know. No telling what's going through his mind because HE'S VERY CONTROLLING!.
HIS HEAD NURSE IS LIVING IN HIS CARRIAGE HOUSE FOR FREE?
Hello? There's something in it for him! She's probably getting him pills too in trade for a place to live, or he's getting sex from her. I'm convinced that he has several connections for pills though.
I hope you're keeping evidence of his emails and messages. You may need this. He doesn't sound logical.....almost like a creep throwing out threats and may eventually stalk you.
On the other hand, watch your back. He sounds like he has power or influence. I don't mean to scare you, but I beleive he's more scared of you than what you know. No telling what's going through his mind because HE'S VERY CONTROLLING!.
actually, you have HIM over a barrel. It is illegal for him to prescribe narcotics for someone who is not a patient of his. If he falsified medical records to cover his butt, thats another felony. And then, the fact that he's taking them himself is enough to strip him of his medical license forever, never mind the fact that he is performing surgery and endangering patients while he's high.
sending you strength in your recovery== but don't let his manipulation stop you, you have so much leverage over him its not even funny
sending you strength in your recovery== but don't let his manipulation stop you, you have so much leverage over him its not even funny
I did the same thing Nauty did..it worked well...minimal wd's ...rls was the worst...hot baths help as does a heating pad
if it is only 5mg. its all mental as far as i am concerned. What I did when I got to that point was take the pill and break it into 1/4 pieces and take every 3 to 4 hours .....it lessens the anxiety and soon you will just not need it. thats what worked for me. 5mg is probably not doing anything for your pain either. Good luck, hun.
Nauty.............
Nauty.............
Don't delete his e-mails...you may need them down the road.
Good job..stay strong...
you can do this...
Good job..stay strong...
you can do this...
Lisann,
Re-post this as a new question and you will get more responses. post it as update on being held hostage by doctor.
Luv,
Nauty............
Re-post this as a new question and you will get more responses. post it as update on being held hostage by doctor.
Luv,
Nauty............
Okay, he just left me a message saying his final farewell... it sounded a bit melodramatic, but that's in fashion for him. Wished me the best and all that after telling me how much he's sacrificed for me out of sheer love.
I can't tell if this is him or his addiction talking. I don't even know if he's in withdrawal or if he was worried about his supply or if he really is so demented that he thinks he loves me, and his drugs have nothing to do with it.
And yeah, the 5mg hurts... I was taking more for awhile, but I've been disciplining myself over the past couple of months to take less and less. Every bone in my body hurts and my stomach is really upset. Like I said, I don't know how much of it is my illness and how much is the pills, but it really sucks.
How long does this go on?
I can't tell if this is him or his addiction talking. I don't even know if he's in withdrawal or if he was worried about his supply or if he really is so demented that he thinks he loves me, and his drugs have nothing to do with it.
And yeah, the 5mg hurts... I was taking more for awhile, but I've been disciplining myself over the past couple of months to take less and less. Every bone in my body hurts and my stomach is really upset. Like I said, I don't know how much of it is my illness and how much is the pills, but it really sucks.
How long does this go on?
OMG..........MY BLOOD PRESSURE HAS SKYROCKETED . What a friggin tool. You explained the mystery of what was missing. I doubt he can do anything ......I dare his sorry pitiful *** to try. You did great!!!! do not answer any more calls from this nut case. girl I feel for you right now, but you did good. lay low right now and see what happens. keep us posted if he contacts you further............you might get a few more threats from him, but don't talk to him personally. If you choose to read his emails fine......let him incriminate himself, but don't say anymore to him over the phone and be very careful if you decide to email him back, but it's not advisable to leave any tracks.......he may say things to try to get you to talk or respond, so be careful.......aaaaaaaaaaaa i am just so......aaaaaaaaa i want to .....deep breaths nauty, deep breaths.......sorry i have to stop now before I blow a gasket.
Nauty.................
Nauty.................
IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE...call his bluff. sounds if he is desperate for his fix. think about it...how can he report you without getting himself and his cushy job and life in jeopardy? i dont think he is willing to risk it.
Do not be scared of this man...He is really testing you...Do not go for it!!!! He cannot take your son, and you can get off of 1/2 a pill no problem.....Beleive me , i was taking sometimes over 15 10mg a day, and i have kids.....Just put it in your mind and the mind is a truly amazing thing......
Please toughen up, if u show him you are weak he will run with that.....But if u show him you are strong, he will back off because he knows how much trouble he can in too...
If u are afraid of him make your friend stay with you,
r2r
Please toughen up, if u show him you are weak he will run with that.....But if u show him you are strong, he will back off because he knows how much trouble he can in too...
If u are afraid of him make your friend stay with you,
r2r
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
