Just have to get this out...Some one please help me.

[monkey231]

I am so frusterated!  I tryed to just stop....HAHAHA....that lasted till about 5:00pm today then called up a "friend" drove an hour and a half to get some Diloudeds, my body was shaking and I couldnt breath, my legs were aching and I was freezing cold but sweating....I sat in the car with my "friend" the second he gave me the pills I crushed some of them up and snorted them.....Then I sat back in the drivers seat and started thinking about my little boy.  And how earlier that day I was blowing bubbles and he was running around the room laughing and clapping his hands togeather busting the bubbles.  I dont know why I had to leave him to go get pills.  What the hell is wrong with me?  What kind of mother would rather drive an hour and a half just to buy a bunch of pills then sit at home playing with her son.  I love my son to death, but Im starting to think there is really something wrong with me.  I cant honestly say that I give my son my best, and as much as it hurts to say it, my son deserves better than me.  Its killing me.  I've been crying for hours.  I love my son, I want to give him everything.  Why did I have to leave him today over drugs?  Im not that kind of person.  I grew up with my parents always drinking and doing drugs in my house.  I swore I wouldnt be that person.  But I am.  I hate myself.  Im ruining my sons life....And the worst part is that sitting hear thinking about all this, I should throw away the pills right now, and just be done with it....But instead, Im snorting more so that I dont have to feel this way....What the hell is wrong with me?

[cathy5841]

please dont even consider the methadone.  it is horrible.  if you go to a clinic you have to sign to do it for a very long time and it is absolutely awful to get off.  it has a verryy long half life, meaning it stays in your system for a long time and withdrawals can literally last for months.  horriffic withdrawals.  and to use without supervision by a medical pro is ludicrous.  just please dont.
cathy

[skippysizemore]

Skippy here, listen this is just another mind, mood altering drug to get addicted to. I am on day7 from cold turkey off methadone and let me tell you if I can go thru this ANYONE can. I mean it. go and read my journals you'll see. what helped me was these people on this forum and hot hot baths and vitamins drink Boost take One a Day vitamins for women 3 times a day drink plenty of water STAY AWAY FROM CAFFEINE and nicotine and sugary foods. anything that will give you a boost of energy stay away from believe me been there done that. get you some ativans or klonipins or tylenol pm for sleep. stay away from seroquel or xanax they made my skin crawl. I am no expert (yet) but I know what has helped me. Look up Thomas Recipe on google. He has the whole list. take care and i will pray for you.

[lnicole]

Monkey: i can relate to your story. im just beginig the decision to get sober... how are you doing now? keep us posted. your story touched me. GOOD LUCK AND BLESS YOU!!
CATCHIEC: how can i get on a methadone plan without insurance? ive heard theres a wait. can you give me any info on your situation? ive got 2 kids and cant be sick and im scared to death of w/d's. thanks for any advise.

[worried878]

I am sure that worked for u guys...risky to me...also she may not be able to get this methadone that easily...I would be very scared to do that monkey....do you have a doctor you can talk to or have you been getting all of your drugs on the street?....you know u have to do something soon...real soon...is there an NA group in your area?

[cathy5841]

methadone is a bad drug.  you are so much better not to take a drug to get off a drug.  avis is so right.  monkey you know i am here fro ya.
cathy

[avisg]

I would steer clear of methadone to get off of another drug if even only for 5 days .......
Ohhh know what reaction you might have to it ... or how quick you might get addicted to it ......