Day 60 and I cant freaking believe it!!

[Teresa1717]

Im on Day 60 clean from pills and Im still having trouble sleeping! WTH! lol But I cant believe I made it here. This is MY first milestone I made for myself! I knew that if I could get here, I would be ok.I first posted here 59 days ago, lost, deseperate, out of control and just overall a hot mess! Pills had taken over my life and I was on a very fast moving train to my final rock bottom. I had relapsed many times and knew that I had to do something different. So after lurking for quite some time I decided to post and voila! I got such an incredible amount of love and support from so many strangers! People who didnt know me, but only my story because it was the same as most. I had people who had been clean for only a few days, to a few years lift me up and tell me I was going to be ok. And you guys were right!

It hasnt been without struggles though. The last 30 days I have had more downs than ups, and at times felt like giving in was my only option, but again, you guys wouldnt let me fall and each time I conqured a new hurddle
I felt stronger and more prepared. Ready to really take ahold of sober life and know that this is where I want to be and DESERVE to be!

I also have to stress how important aftercare of some sort is for all you guys who are just starting out and who are also chronic relapsers. For me, having this forum was AMAZING, but if I hadnt also started counseling and going to AA meetings, I know without a doubt I would have relapsed when the going got tough.

So let me just say Thank you, Thank you, Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you on this forum!  Some of you though, I owe a piece of my life to because you saved it and you know who you are! Im forever indebted to you!

Before I go and try to get some more sleep, here are a few quotes and phrases I have heard (some in passing and some directed to me) that have stuck with me...

~getting clean is the easy, staying clean is the tough part
~Any bad day without pills, is better than any good day with them
~The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results
~Using is NOT an option
~Today is the tomorrow that we worried about yesterday

and of couse my personal favorite

~dont be a *******!  :)

[Fireby29]

Congrats Teresa on 60 days!  Hang in there, slowly but surely that brain of yours is healing itself.  Keep at the diet and exercise, to maximize the healing process.

Bryan

[Teresa1717]

LOL A deckmate huh?? So am I deckmate on the poop deck?? And Also, I swear like a sailor so shouldnt that count for something? Pssshhttt

And Thank you! I am holding on tight to my sobriety like its the winning tocket to the lottery! :)

[dominosarah]

I am so frickin proud of you my friend.  60 days is a great accomplishment.  Remember to always hold your clean time sacred and do whatever it takes to stay that way, your life depends on it~

ANDDDDD...since you arent a voting member yet you arent a "sailor".  You are still a deckmate..just thought you should know!!!  Now be a good girl and dont be an FT!!!!

[Teresa1717]

Thanks so much doll!!! I am so happy to have made it here in one piece!! hahaha Cant wait to post in another 60 days too! :)

[Bkitty]

Congrats!! I cant believe its been 60days! I remember when you first came here and posted!! Next you know Pat will have 60days too! Its funny cuz in the beginning it seems like time goes so slow but in hindsight it goes by so fast! You have been a huge inspiration to many and are a great asset to the forum. Congrats on your 60days Theresa!! ((hugs))~Bkitty

[Teresa1717]

Bright- i did! I went to a meeting and got my 60 day chip!!! :)

Sweettooth- you're the best! Thank you for inspiring me too!! :) youll get to 60 before you know it!

[toothfairie]

CONGRATS GIRL!!  you are such an inspiration to me and others....and i love your sense of humor....kinda twisted like mine!! hahaha....and the sailor mouth too!!  keep up the good work girl!!  you soooo deserve that 60 day chip!!  so proud for you!!  i'm struggling my way there but i will get there too!

xoxoxoxo  

[Brightfutureahead]

Congrats Teresa hope you did lots of nice things for yourself today!!

[Teresa1717]

Awww Thanks honey! I think its pretty awesome even if it was wierd :) I guess maybe its just me thats wierd then!! hahaha

[ImDONENoMore]

It's not weird.  It's perfect.  :)

[Teresa1717]

Ohhhhh My sense of humor will never die!! lol Thats the one thing that has gotten me through life! My motto is, If you cant beat 'em, laugh at 'em! :) The Sailor mouth though, My mom wishes I would curb that a bit ! LOL

And Thank you!!! I am super proud of myself today!!  And even more proud that  got my 60 day chip!! I never got my 30 day beecause I didnt go to a meeting then, so this is my first one and Its scarey how proud it makes me to have! Wierd huh??

[LeaAnn807]

OMG I just now saw this!  Woohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! That's GREAT!  I knew you could do it.  

You will start sleeping soon.  You're getting enough now to keep a sense of humor and to come on here and help and encourage other members.  You're going about your daily life now, not having to worry about pills anymore.  Feels good, huh?

I'm really proud of you! : )  Congrats!!!

[Teresa1717]

WOW! 75 days is great!! Im not so far behind you am I?? Your just paving the path for me and I appreciate it! :) Keep up the good work and hopefully the next 75 will have more ups for you!

[meegWpaw]

Teresa, I know you've been through more than a lot lately and my heart goes out to you.  You are such an incredible person.  What an accomplishment!  Ty for all your help and support.  You're doing super great!!!!

[kellkell2184]

I am right there with you on day 75 and yep lots of ups and downs but it is so nice to actually go to bed and just fall asleep naturally and wake up naturally instead of "Passing out" and waking from the drug induced coma every night. Oh and I think the craziest thing was when I actually felt peace and happiness after 75 long days of drifting by it hit the other night and I was like WOW I forgot how that felt seriously. Its been tough because some days you wake up and just drift and coast through the days to just make it by. Then some days I actually get up and stay up and do things I once did when I was high but now sober which for some reason has been really tough. Just being interested in daily activities has been really hard I hate having to force myself to do things you know? I hope it gets easier the more I keep doing things. :)

[Leaveurfearsbehind]

Congrats Teresa! Your doing so awesome with yourself and with helping others also. Keep up the good work!

[Teresa1717]

Aww thank you guys!!  Your support has gotten me here today :) as Tina Turner would sing, you're simply the best, better than all the rest... lol oh lord i need therapy bad today!  :)

Pat- k i s.s my dumbas s....yep, we can say it! :)

[Sonrissa]

Woooo Hooooo Girl! Congrats on the huge milestone! I know it's been tough of late, but you are getting through all of this with a simply amazing attitude! Thanks for all you have shared here! You know the drill; stay strong and focussed, and keep moving forward! That 90 days is just around the corner!

Oh yes, and sleep is sofa king overrated, isn't it? (smile)

[YesLife4Me]

You are amazing and so deserve the rewards in life you have coming your way for all your hard work, determination and selfless support you have given!   You are such an inspiration to all of us.  Hugs to you!

[Dane74]

YEAHH for you!!!! WOO HOO shout it out loud, from the roof tops!!!!!!  What an amazing transformation, i am so happy and proud of you.  Next milestone, 90 days, and thats when i finally had my sleep return.  

[vicki595]

Congratulations!  You made it to this point in spite of EVERYTHING !
Proud of you !
xo

[Pat1956100]

Are we allowed to say K.I.S.S. my dumba ss?

[Teresa1717]

K.I.S.S was one of our Mnemonics we used ALOT when I was going through school for Paramedic!! I used it all the time to myself!! hahaha I havent heard it in forever. But your right, Def a good one to add!! :)

notordinary-Thanks so much for your kind words and support as well! Will be happy to see you post your 60+ days of clean time!