Lookin for some serious help please

[lansing85]

I have been on extremely high doses of norco for some time now, the last year being the worst. This is my second day of Wes. It has been agonizing. I'm scared to death, I feel as if I'm mourning a friend... One how always made life a a lot easier. I don't know who I am now. I don't know how to get thru this. I feel like such a loser. Please offer something, anything that will help me thru.
God bless you all

[duluthguy]

Our situations are so alike- I don't remember the real me, did I even like me back then? I am ashamed at how I was a couple days ago tho, so anything would be better than that... I had to take anxiety medicine before I started on percs, will I have to again? I actually stole pills from a good friend, will I have the strength to ask him to forgive me when this is over? There are many things and situations that will come up as obstacles, lets just pray we can meet them head on- sober and with a clear mind!! god bless and keep in touch, its encouragement for me right now! Thanks so much

[lansing85]

I can totally relate to you that it takes an obscene amount of pills to make any difference - remember, I was taking 450 mg of norco each day up until a few days ago. I still cannot believe it got that high. I was just thinking earlier today that last year at this time I was taking about 250 mgs a day and how it has been basically doubled in this last year. I have been taking them for about 8 years and truly feel as though I'm mourning the loss of a friend... one that was behind everything I accomplished and my mind believes everything now, esp finishing grad school, will be impossible without it. Such a warped way of thinking. I think if I would have started today with a lessening in my wds, my attitude would have been a bit more positive. But since it's been the same each day so far, I'm truly beginning to feel discouraged. Once today I even caught myself thinking "is this worth it? Is going through this going to be to my benefit? Will I still like myself. Will I still sleep well, have enough energy to work full time, finish grad school full time, work out everyday, and feel happy?? For me, the pills weren't necessarily a way to feel numb or hide from pain. For me, they were a mood enhancer. One that just lifted my spirits and made me feel a little happier. That's hard to have to let go of.

I hope you are doing ok today. It's nice to have someone to talk with that understands what I'm going through. And by the way, thanks for keeping my head where it should be. Because I was MIGHTY close to making a phone call, but I didn't and I'm praying my rosary twice every day that I do not.

you hang in there too.

[duluthguy]

That phone is my enemy right now as well... But I just keep remembering that  I have to get clean, I need so so many pills for them to work- even then I dont feel good with them anymore... Hang on, it will progressively get better-

[lansing85]

Thank you for your comments. I hope you are doing well. It's so hard, almost impossible to bear. I thought it would get better by Noe, but it hadn't eased up at all. Very discouraging. I'm trying do hard to stay focused but finding it ridiculously hard. Came soooo close to making a phone call that would make it all go away...

[duluthguy]

I am on day 2, a few hours from day 3- You are so so close to going over the peak and down the other side... I am having the waves of pins and needles right now as I type, hot flashes and pain, sneezing nonstop, almost almost unbearable. But I know for a fact you are so close to the peak, could break at any minute... Minutes seem like hours right now but just keep it up, it is getting better!!

[lansing85]

Day 4. It feels the same as the first couple. I'm beginning to feel like it won't get better. I can't stop shaking, my body is riddled with physical pain, and I'm so weak that walking is a chore. How do I stay strong and focused? It's getting harder and harder.