Looking for tips and just overall support

[Bamnuts]

by Bamnuts, 10 hours
I know I am not the worst addict on this page and I finally hit rock bottom the other day when my wife says I have. Changed over the last year (SWIM have been doing  Vic's, percs, morphine, and my favorite o contin for 2 years now).
I am a loving father of two 9 yr and 5 yr old daughters.  I can't lose them and my awesome HOT wife!  I make pretty good money and we Are struggling finincially. I rationalize it is not because of the habit then I reluctantly did the math and saw how much money I have WASTED in the last 2 years. Then guilt sets in. I am at the lowest of lows. I was a former world class athlete and even competed at the 1996 us olympics. My brother and I had a gym and it closed 4 months ago.  I wAs at least able to workout and keep my body in shape.  From the gym closing 4 months ago.....I have gained 40 lbs and cannot even see in the night airn see my privates (without a mirror). My fears are dying early for my kids, my wife leaving me, and losing all my nice things In life (house cars, etc....the morale of the story is I quit. COld turkey (my last pill was Saturday at 7pm).  It is now 9:13 as I type And I took enough immodium to stop the diarea. Now the problems are depression an guilt along with insomnia from shakey legs. I have read a lot of sites and everyone says to use benzos for sleep.......why doesn't anyone reccomend ambien?
Is it bad for u?  I M on hour 50 of wd and started a diet today. ( I weighed in at 295.4 ). That was rock bottom along with wasted money. The other problem I think I am going through is alchol wd. I don't use alcohol without a opiate with it........I say what is the point?  AlcOhol is not my drug of choice ......I just use it to maximize my opiate buzz. I don't know but maybe I am going throough a double withdrawal. I M just seeking for help with suggestions and support. I need to "right this ship" and support will help me. I have not told anyone my demons I just want to exorcise t
hem.  I look forward to comments And support!
Take care!

[Tesserae]

I definately having insomnia too!

[Tesserae]

Hi there, I don't know how much help I can be to you, I'm new here too. This site has some wonderful people and they are helping me quit with support and knowledge. I was up and saw nobody had replied to u, so I thought I would, if even for someone to talk to. I'm currently trying to kick a lortab addiction that has been going on for a year and a half. Ran out of pills early ( have a script due to crohns disease) and finally got sick of the vicious cycle. I'm still kinda weaning because I have a few pills left and I'm scared, but yesterday I took only one. Been having some withdrawl problems over the last few days, mostly emotional.

[Bamnuts]

Forget the bam nuts 10 hours
I pasted it again bc nobody replied
Just need someone to communicate with.