CadillacJack;
It's all true. It is a WAR and fear is useless. Less than useless. An emotion that can get you killed. There is better energy in anger than fear. Anger is a fiery hot emotion that helps BURN thru addiction. Anger, in this case, is keeping me alive. Am I angry now? Absolutely. I'm mad at the pills, I'm mad at the addiction/dependence whatever you wanna label it. I'm mad at the idiots who made this synthetic nightmare pill and then shoved it at me because they were afraid (there's that fear again) I'm angry at the people who snuck a fake opiate thru the scheduling system so they could make millions.
I'm saving your messages (I hope you don't mind) because they help me remember who I was before the pills made me feel sick, poisoned, weak and fearful. I am none of those thing. Your message really helped me, and if it helped me, I can only imagine it helped so many others. Your messages are full of Raw Truth. The raw Truth that is gained when you walk thru fire and fear no evil. To take others with you, is a truly amazing skill.
The day I started to let the pills run out, was the day that one of my clients told me his finance of 4 years had jumped out a window. I'm not sure what she was on, but she was 31, one of the most beautiful girls you have ever seen and so sweet. I always saw (as most people who have been on any dark drug can see) that something was dark in her. I just didn't know what it was. She let the fear take her.
I'm not letting the Fear take me. Thank you. It is WAR. It is ON. And I will WIN!
Love to you CadillacJack, You are a truly good man for helping us all today. And I believe in Karma or payback or Grace or whatever you want to call it. Thank you! A million times.
Emily
PS. You know that line in the song "Not Fade Away" that goes, "My Love's bigger than a Cadillac ..." Love that song! I think it's probably going to remind me of you for the rest of my life now.
False
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Well put CadillacJack, it always helps to have a new way of looking at something!!
I'm happy you added that note, GoingToMakeIt. It would be really bad to detox in a nursing home, as an old addict. People have to stop while they have it in their own power to do so. Not at the whim of some doctor. Or when they have nothing left to buy with.
CJ this is so important for people to understand. Thanks for posting this. I wouls add that the real thing to fear is what will the continued use do to me? How low will I have to go before I wake. up.
You sent me some encouraging words the other night...thank you. I'm feeling kind of blue tonight and it seems that you are the only one that has personally responded to me. I like this forum, and have been at it for a few days. Maybe I need to be more patient to make friends here. After all, a few days mean nothing in the grand scheme. I haven't really opened up as to how hard my life is. I'm here because I'm hurting. I'm here because I'm looking for help. Geez...life is hard for all of us, so who am I to ask for attention. I have been reluctant to create my own post. Yet, I am feeling rather bleak and like a failure. Ugh. I went off of hydro 3 days ago ...after 3 months use...and couldn't handle the pain in my back, so I refilled Rx and did 8 today. I'm not chemically dependent yet, but my mind is quickly wrapping around this drug. S***t.
Like I have said before CJ I always enjoy seeing you post. well said and great point.
Really good to hear from you.
And congratulations on your clean days!!!
That was a great post cadillac jack
Totally agree cj....it is all upstairs for the most part....and fear never helped me with much on anything...never got me anywhere at all,,, good post
It's good that you agree. I did expect some other attitudes, in all frankness. Knowing that speaking your mind may actually help someone else creates some feeling of usefulness.
And LISA: You know I love you back, don't you?
who was one of the main folks here that helped me just bite the bullet with my 4 yr. addiction to the snorting opiates. you are straight to the point and you have so much knowledge about all of this!!! thanks for all your posting and being here for us!!! i owe you BIG im 40 plus days clean! once again thank you for being here!!! sincerly yours sherri ps you are right again i was scared about the wd and just scared you so got me on the right path!
Thanks for the truth..I also agree with you 100%..Fear is what keeps alot of people in their addiction..and at some point that just has to be fought. Plain and simple..but not easy. I love you so much my friend..♥ Lisa
I agree with you 100%.
And may add that even with tapering you will still have w/d.
Doesn't matter if you are dependant or addicted (whatever term you like to use),
It ain't pretty. But the rewards you will get if you follow through, either tapering or CT is well worth the pain of just a few days of hell.
You will think clearer.
No more fog.
You won't have that "urge" to keep watching the clock.
There are so many benefits that outweigh the days of withdrawal.
One of the big reasons I quit was because I was mad. Mad at my Doctor for him to keep prescribing those to me and mad at myself for not really looking into the med I was taking.
I am so glad I checked here first BEFORE I went in to see my doc. He wanted to give me Oxy (to replace my Norco). I refused. Then he offered Ultram: I refused that too and told him it really IS an addictive med. Then he gave me a (semi) useless NSAID. It helped a little during my W/D & Taper but then it really made me sick. So I quit that one too. Now I use Tylenol..only a couple a day (low dose too). Even on my box of Tylenol it says: Do not use for more than 10 days. That almost made me laugh.
Well said Cadillac Jack
SJ