Most mentally challenging thing I've endured

[PoochieRachetToe]

Hey everyone, been reading and trying to gauge some sort of time frame for a few withdrawls of Demerol, Percs and Hydrocodones...... Six months ago I started these with a prescription. I never really took X amount of pills daily. It always varied and some days nothing. Well, with my wifes help I quit cold turkey 5 days ago. I feel like days 3 and 4 were better than today. The only things that are bothering me is the lack of sleep and elevated heart rate. The chills/sweat I can deal with. Sleep and heart rate worry me. My Doc knows and knows I'm a stern S O B. He's just ask that I text him updates. I thought I would do okay after "only" six months. Bwahahahaha! I was stupid. I have a small son that I still devote time to everyday through this process. I still work my full-time job while going through this as well. It keeps me active. Today is the first day I noticed muscle soreness. Maybe because I was less busy today? Lots of walking and using of the muscles in my job. I lost 20lbs in these six months too. I am taking a multi-vitamin, fish oil, B-6 and drinking enough water, Gatorade and Cran-Grape(for the vitamin C) to have peed 13 times in 9 hours. I did however take a phenergan 25 last night to sleep. Made for a rough first half the day. Tonight is an OTC sleep aid night!  Never took benzo's for long times. They do nothing great for me. Yet, I did take a Soma today for the muscle soreness. They do not make me sleepy in the least.
I really just wanted to give some background and ask, what am I looking at time wise for improvements in sleep and Heart Rate? I was originally trying these to stop my Migraines which don't seem to respond to Triptans(sp)? I have found its easier to handle repeated headache pain than go through this nightmare. I have an excellent support system including my wife, brother and sister. I read everyones story and say DAMN! How did we all get here? Thankfully, I'm at six months. It was my idea to trash the sh!t and go cold turkey as I will not forget this too soon by going this route.
Thanks everyone

[jonjon79]

Hi Poochie, and everyone else.

I've been reading tons of posts and luckily found yours and found your situation to be close to mines. I too have a son that my wife had when I met her, yet I love him as my own and he sees me as his only father considering he's never met his real father. Anyhow, long story short, I have an extreme history of addiction with meds dating far back as 2000 on and off. It's never gotten this bad though, the last couple months I realized I can't control it this time. I only started hitting the meds hard this time because my mom died of cancer this past Dec, on Christmas day of all days... yeah.

So around January, after I ran out of a bottle of 90 pills of morphine and a few vicodin left, I didn't think nothing of it. I went through the WD and thought it was from the weather (flu). I started reading up on the internet and just woke up and realized... sh*t I'm addicted. It explained alot with my 10 year history with opiates and all that time I thought the side effects were from a flu or whatever.

Well now that I'm in the know, prepared or whatnot... I'm scared to death. My wife and son are out of the country for 2 weeks on Vacation. They'll be back April 3. My intention was to taper down and utilize this 2 weeks to come off. BTW my wife has no clue what's going on. I've been reading this forum all friggin day for tips, advice, and just plain HOPE.

I really intended to make this comment short but what I'm really asking for is incouragement, coaching. I hate to be a bother on anyone but I just thought it'd be nice to get some advice or encouraging words from you Pooch since I can relate to you more. I'm feeling alone here. I know you mentioned I shouldn't keep it a secret. I'd really like to continue hiding it but if worst comes to worst I'll tell her, but I really would rather not. I dunno man.

I'm the luckiest man on earth. That I can absolutely vouch for. I just need to keep telling myself this and stick it through. lol damn and I'm not even on day 1. Ok enough, I'll stop. cya

[PoochieRachetToe]

Hey Hey Hey! Whats shakin' everyone? Day 11 and I am on cruise control. Heart rate is still elevated and sleep seems to be an elusive creature HOWEVER, I feel incredibly better! I actually suggested to my wife that we goto Bed Bath and Beyond the other night........ Craziness! Thats not something I normally enjoy, especially after work. I was just laying around doing bare minimum around the house previously. I may go home and clean out my shed today. I worked after work on a side job yesterday.....Who doesn't like additional funds? I think I'm going to go pick up my son and chase his lil *** around the yard tonight too. I have more energy with the lack of sleep than I had willingness to do anything constructive on the pills. Those of you suffering, keep pressing forward and follow me to this side! Its a lot of fun over here. I'm laughing all the time again. My wife says I am getting back to being the smartass she remembers. Its a trait I like and plan on keeping. I took the road bike out this past Sunday, I think I'm going to get the Mountan Bike cleaned up and ready to ride very soon. I still need to grab one of those trailers for my bike and tote my son around the neighborhood. Got Damn! I feel good. I have only used the Lorazepam a few times to calm me so, maybe I'll see if that calms me enough to sleep tonight. That is if and only if I don't feel tired after doing things around the house and chasing the lil man around. Hell, I think I'm going to grab some burgers from the store and cook on the grill! Oh man, a juicey, lean burger with lettuce, tomato and dill pickles. I just had lunch an hour ago and making myself hungry. Who's with me? Who wants some of this energy? I'm giving it away! No worries, I have a metabolism like no other!
I can't stop for long so just checking in with you peeps!
Here is some advice before I leave
1)Keep fighting the good fight    
2)Don't poke bears with sticks! If you find that you need to, make it a long stick!
3)Try to never frown, as you never know who may be falling in love with your smile!

[micheleTX]

wow!  you are doing great!  wish i coulda felt that good on my 8th day lol....You have an amazing outlook on life, and I commend you for being so strong and such a loving man to your family!!  Be proud, remember it only gets better & better!!!  and watch out lol, food will begin to smell, look and taste really really good again lol...great work!  keep posting, i liked reading your accomplishments!!!  God Bless all of you :)

[PoochieRachetToe]

Ok, Boys n' Girls! I just got back from my cycle ride! I rocked that sh!t! I rode 19 miles in misty rain with lots of up hills. Completed in about an hour. Life after narcotics is living. I was alive, muscles working, mind thinking, navigating the hills and turns and just plain enjoying the crappy weather. I did this in my 8th day of Cold Turkey withdrawals! I've been able to chase my son around the house and tickle him, my wife is so happy with my accomplishment. I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning but, once I'm up. Get the hell outta my way. I got stuff to do and time to catch up on. I'm getting back to who I was already. F, F a narcotic pain killer. I run this show and I don't need you for anything.

[taperme]

Wow...sounds like you are doing great, and have such a good attitude. Be very proud of yourself. And enjoy your ride tomorrow.

[PoochieRachetToe]

I feel great this morning. My energy level fizzled fast but, I made eggs, bacon and chocolate chip pancakes for everyone this morning. I also talked to my Pops and let him in on what has happen. Well, its a trait I inherited from him! He was honest with me and filled me in. He says he's proud. It ***** that he called about helping my sister move. I just don't have that energy. I will soon though. See, I have so much to live for. I have no problems with sobriety. Its a good thing. I also must say that my "not so son, son" is here. I was previously married and my wife had a child with someone else during. Its no big deal now. We all get along and the lil fella comes to visit me every other Friday or Saturday night. I have been a complete fool and owe people a huge thanks. My friends and family look at me no different and that is a weight off my back. They know that I'm a different breed of person. I make/change the rules! I'm the one they call for support and advice. Anyway, I'm going to continue down this path and continue to prove it can be done. It was by far the most difficult thing to go through but, I F'ing did and am doing it. To middle fingers up, to addiction and dependence!

My other son just handed me a cartoon book he drew! That kicks ***!
Damn I'm feeling good. The difference is unreal. A full week ago, I was a mess in the (haven't told you guys this but) ER because I had taken too many meds to get rid of a headache. The nurse said, "this is not unusual sweetheart but, please think about what you are doing. You have to be careful of these meds. There is more than death possible and those things like liver and kidney failure are much worse than death" I would actually like to go back in there and tell her thank you. She put it bluntly and I listened. I am nearly at the point that this was a bad dream. I still have my 19 mile cycle ride planned tomorrow, I'll let you guys know how that goes.