NO MATTER WHAT

[ang_811]

   Sometimes i wish i could go back in time and change the outcome of things. Or knowing what i know now, i would have done and said and whole lot more. But, than, I remember things have to happen the way they happen and there IS a reason they happen the way they happen.We dont have to like it but we do have to accept it.We cant change things. We r not that powerful.

   1 year ago today God gave me and my family another guardian angel. My cousin Shawn. Who was more like a brother to me. He was tragicially killed in a car accident. How i woke up this morning one year ago i would  not wish it on my worst enemy.I awoke from a dead sleep to my mom crying hysterically and the only words she could get out was shawn was killed.

   I was 5 months sober at the time. The pain from that sent me on a downward spiral to a dark spot i had never been before. I was sober but an empty shell. Its a long story but i learned how pain can really hurt ur mind and ur brain. I made it thru without picking up.

  Moral of this story is...We have a choice today i choose sobriety and life. I choose to live.No matter how hard or painful life can b, i know if i want to make things worst and intensify the pain all i have to do is pick up. Ill use ALOT to keep trying to mask the pain that keeps building from using and who knows where ill b than. Chances are high that it will b death.

   If ur going thru something today know it will get better n time but it will get alot worst if u pick up.

-STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY.

[ROSYouralright]

Ty for such a beautiful INSPIRING post and congrats on your clean time.

[meegWpaw]

this post said a lot to me.  i am sorry for your loss.  ty for writing this.

[VICourageous]

Great Post Ang. I sure am so soory for your lost. I feel for you.
This post just inspired me to know end. I know at my age and my Dogs and my Mom and etc. that it will come in time. I always pray I will have a lot more time in..BUT Post like this sure does help me to keep my chin up and know it can be done. Why make it worse on your self to run from your self and hide..It will be there when we finally come around..
THANK YOU
Bless

[dominosarah]

You are so right timothy.......Pure emotions usually come "out of the mouths of babes"~

[timothy141]

Great inspiration and and insight, "out of the mouths of babes". At almost twice your age I still struggle with my" broken coper". Thank you for writing this.

[dominosarah]

No matter what, Stronger than yesterday~

xoxoxoxo little one~

[toothfairie]

great post Ang!!  so sorry about your cousin....congrats on the clean time and pushing thru the tragedy without picking up....this is an inspiring post for those with alot of clean time and those just starting out....yes life does still go on and it's not always pleasant....but using again will only make things alot worse in the end...i choose life and sobriety as well...we can't control what life hands us most of the time but we can control how we deal with it...and stay clean. :)