Aa
No Posts? Am i kicked out?
I posted this morning, i am going through some bad stuff, and i know my post from last week was removed, but, i was in alot of issues, husband being abusive, etc. but now no one wants to talk to me. I thought you guys were on here to help people, not ignore them. I thought the Forum was supposed to help people through w/d's and bad times, well, im having a bad time............so you ignore me................i am truly hurt, this is one place i can vent, so i vented, and now no one wants to talk to me...tired of oxys, where are you girl, i need to hear from you. Im am truly crushed............im sorry about posting that nite, but my husband was totally out of control, i need to get to that doctor for my back, and get better. You all seem like your upset with me, whats the deal, ive seen worse posts on here, alot worse...talk to me somebody. thanks ................a whole bunch
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The days get longer every day I am here, and i cry myself to sleep every nite, and i know he hears me and knows the pain and suffering i am going through. He has got his head so far up his a__, he cant see anything. Speaking of that Brother Frankie, i thought your comment was very RUDE, and you call yourself a man of God. Jesus wouldnt say things like that. OK sorry, had to vent again. My doctor appt with surgeon is Friday, and its out of town, so Im getting a hotel and staying a few days, and my sister lives there, she has been clean for quite a long time and goes to meetings, and i am going with her, even if just to listen. I need some ME time, and im taking it (i am also taking his vehicle because mine is about on its last legs). He cant drive anyway, got a DUI a couple months ago. Oxy, i have made my mind up, i dont think i even care about what happens to him anymore, i feel numb. So my plan is, if its surgery, get it done asap, while im recovering im going to look into some help to get me out of here, and use pain meds till i get better, then Im DONE. I shouldnt need them anymore, and i want to have a fresh mind to get through all this. I love ya girl, and im listening, will post when i get back from doctors. God's Blessings to all of you (or most of you) that posted back.
You need not be sorry for posting that night or any time. You know from talking with me that I can relate to how awful it is to be in an abusive relationship. It can make getting/staying clean seem impossible. I hope you were able to get help from those numbers I gave you. As hard as it is, you need to leave for the sake of both your physical and emotional well being. By staying you send him the message that he can and will get away with treating you like he does. His drinking and abuse will not get better, it will get worse and I'm afraid for you. Eventually he will escalate the abuse and it will not be just verbal anymore and the thing with drunks is that they black out and do horrible things that even they never thought they could do. You are in danger and you need to get out of that toxic relationship and get the help you need before you can move forward.
I know how hard it is to leave. I put up with it for a loooong time and by the time I finally got the courage to go, he had nearly destroyed all my self esteem and I lived in a constant state of fear and resentment and of course it made my addiction that much worse because the pills numbed my pain. The poster above is right. It's time to put YOU and YOUR RECOVERY FIRST, In my situation I left him last August and although it was hard it was a neccessary step and one that I'm so glad I took. We had little contact until last month when he finally quit drinking and begged me to give him another chance. He finally realized that he couldn't have his wife and kids AND booze. We are slowly trying to work on things but I did not leave with the intention of going back to him. Only because he has made some real changes I've decided to see if we can work it out and take it real slow because I need to have my recovery come first no matter what. I'm struggling with addiction too and have just started suboxone treatment.
You need to leave him asap. I can hear the desperation in your post and he's driving you crazy with his cruelty and the nonstop verbal abuse your enduring. Please please get yourself out of there asap. Don't wait for him to do something that could leave you physically hurt or worse...He will not magically wake up one day and be ok. He has the disease of addiction and on top of it has become a very hateful and abusive person. It's a dangerous combo and I pray you get the courage to say enough is enough and leave. I promise you that you will be so glad you did. The hopelessness you feel now will be replaced with a ray of hope, probably the first one in a long time. Change is frightening but once you take that big step the rest will fall into place and doors will open for you. For me living the way I did for so long I felt hopeless, despair and regret. But once I left I was able to get an affordable house to live in with the help of the shelter workers and then I got help with subsidized daycare so I can go back to school. I am starting college next month and by this time next year hope to be working full time in my new career. All this I never thought possible 6 months ago. When you let go of something that is toxic, destructive and hurtful and ALL CONSUMING you have your hands free finally to embrace good things. Like I said it was not easy, no way but making the changes I did was worth it. Whether he and I will be able to fully reconcile remains to be seen but if I hadn't left I'd still be reliving the same hell day in and day out. Now I have hope and as for my husband he has finally lost enough to where he has become willing to quit drinking and get help.
I know how hard it is to leave. I put up with it for a loooong time and by the time I finally got the courage to go, he had nearly destroyed all my self esteem and I lived in a constant state of fear and resentment and of course it made my addiction that much worse because the pills numbed my pain. The poster above is right. It's time to put YOU and YOUR RECOVERY FIRST, In my situation I left him last August and although it was hard it was a neccessary step and one that I'm so glad I took. We had little contact until last month when he finally quit drinking and begged me to give him another chance. He finally realized that he couldn't have his wife and kids AND booze. We are slowly trying to work on things but I did not leave with the intention of going back to him. Only because he has made some real changes I've decided to see if we can work it out and take it real slow because I need to have my recovery come first no matter what. I'm struggling with addiction too and have just started suboxone treatment.
You need to leave him asap. I can hear the desperation in your post and he's driving you crazy with his cruelty and the nonstop verbal abuse your enduring. Please please get yourself out of there asap. Don't wait for him to do something that could leave you physically hurt or worse...He will not magically wake up one day and be ok. He has the disease of addiction and on top of it has become a very hateful and abusive person. It's a dangerous combo and I pray you get the courage to say enough is enough and leave. I promise you that you will be so glad you did. The hopelessness you feel now will be replaced with a ray of hope, probably the first one in a long time. Change is frightening but once you take that big step the rest will fall into place and doors will open for you. For me living the way I did for so long I felt hopeless, despair and regret. But once I left I was able to get an affordable house to live in with the help of the shelter workers and then I got help with subsidized daycare so I can go back to school. I am starting college next month and by this time next year hope to be working full time in my new career. All this I never thought possible 6 months ago. When you let go of something that is toxic, destructive and hurtful and ALL CONSUMING you have your hands free finally to embrace good things. Like I said it was not easy, no way but making the changes I did was worth it. Whether he and I will be able to fully reconcile remains to be seen but if I hadn't left I'd still be reliving the same hell day in and day out. Now I have hope and as for my husband he has finally lost enough to where he has become willing to quit drinking and get help.
okay lets get along! all ppl are different and as somebody had mentioned it slows down on the weekend , There is this saying are you going to let somebody else control your feelings and emotions, let ppl have there opinions it is what you think of yourself that counts ..You ever go to a doc and there are rude and abrupt? I know i have so what i do is find another one who will meld with my personality ....working in the solution is what to do ,it is the easier way.I hope all is well I have to been in active addiction and abuse and when i cleaned up i had to go my own way to get well. Since that time I have changed my life and myself and today I am in a great relationship and am loooking into college, find the solution my friend ..SELF FIRST ...find pple in your area who are going through the same thing , i go to aa and na for my problems and I am now free in all aspects my abusive past seems like a distand memory, I want to go to school to help woman who are goign through what you are now and what I have gone through,
the best way to get back at somebody is to empower yourself. You can do it !!
the best way to get back at somebody is to empower yourself. You can do it !!
I don't think 'ignoring' your posts or whatever was intentional. Venting is good, but specifically when it pertains to a question or problem you might have, and want advice or guidance on, then I say go for it on here. Just because some people don't think that's this sites purpose, who cares? If you need to talk or let it out, here is safe. Hope you're doing a bit better now.
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I'm glad to hear your finally going to take a few days away and go to some meetings with your sister. I think if your comfortable you might want to share your story and get some feedback from the people there. There's a really good chance that one or more of the women have been right in your shoes and can share some insight and advice on how to go about turning your life around. Is there any way you could stay with your sister for awhile? I just hate to think of you spending even one more day in the environment your in. I know how bad you WANT him to care. I remember crying and thinking how the hell can you treat me like this? Why don't you love me enough to stop? And those thoughts would fuel my own depression and make me feel worse about myself. A vicious cycle for sure. Thing is it has nothing to do with you. I know that sounds wrong but this is a problem HE has with himself that he projects onto you. He takes all that self hate, loathing, guilt and sorrow and turns it on you and you internalize every bit of it. It makes him feel better to lash out and blame everyone else then to have to face the truth about himself. You cannot move forward in recovery or in life while tied to a situation thats destroying you in every way. See if you can stay at your sisters and go to meetings with her and get help. Nothing changes if nothing changes, you need to be the one to shake things up and take control of your recovery. Yes it's frightening and I know how hard it is to admit that it's done but I promise that by leaving you will open many doors for yourself. Staying in a toxic relationship will just slowly destroy you. I pray you get out of there asap.