Norco Addiction, withdraw process

[Tat2guy]

My name is, well my name don't matter...I've read a lot of these and haven't ever commented... I'm 29 years old, and well bottom line I can take 30 norcos, the lil yellow bananas a day and not feel anything but normal.. I've been taking them for nine years.. I own a very successful business, and worked my *** off to make it from the ground up, I have 3 perfect kids and a beautiful wife that loves the hell out of me...I have money power and success.. And a ****** up addiction.. The work I do I can't just half *** it... Anyhow four months ago I stopped entirely went two months without ****.. Cold turkey wanted myself to feel the pain... And I did.. But I gave in a couple months ago.. My body wasn't working with my mind and I took two pills.. Felt like superman, told myself no I'm only takin two a day.. But you know how that goes. Bam right back to thirty a day
..here I am on day two of being clean, I have two more days till I go back to work.. The worst part is my wife looks at me like I'm a joke and am just going to start back any time.. What she don't know is she helped me so much last time... I just took one little bitty *** suboxone, and it didn't do ****... And no they aren't dr supplied.. I don't know I just know I deserve to hurt....I deserve this feeling..... But goddamn, it's so hard knowing I could take them and bam be back to superman in minutes... I was so ****** proud of myself last time I quit.... I just hate the mental anguish.. I have so much on my plate....

[Tat2guy]

Ben, honor,respect loyalty and pride.. Four words that I heard ten years ago, and have built everything I am on.. Honor yourself and your own beliefs, respect others the way you choose to be respected, stay loyal to your self and your own beliefs... Most importantly, take pride in what you are...  When on pills I thought it mde me better, faster nicer, smarter... But it was myself and my own beliefs that made me that way, not the pills.. When I first stopped taking them, I doubted if I could ever get back to being as good as I was when I was taking them, and only when I accepted that I may never be as good without them as I was with them, and still chose to get off them, was I able to see, the pills actually make you ignorent to the things around you, numb to everything..   We aren't really as intelligent as we think we are when we're on them, we are just too blinded by our egos to see the truth.. It's almost five a.m... I been working for almost 18 hours straight, I'm tired as ****, hope you read this and take what I say into consideration... I promise you, I've been clean for almost a month, and the truth is.. I am by far more intelligent and more career oriented now then I was when I was on them...   It's your life, and always has been.. Turn the auto pilot off and watch just how fast you accel...   And he'll yeah, I will google that, just as soon as I'm not on a ****** I pad  and can copy and paste... I don't know how all this post **** works.. But if you haven't decided to start taking them again,  I know what your feeling right now.... Make sure you respond, or message me if you can...

[Ben727]

Hey man. I re-read this thread three times. It's one of the most interesting I've seen on this site for me in particular. I have waffled on making a comment becuase I don't how to say it without sounding like a pompous ***. So to avoid sounding that way as much as possible, I'll just say that I too am greatly respected in a high-profile line of work, and have all the trappings to show for it. I also took between 40-60 10/325s every day for five years (I estimate that I spent about $350K on these, no trading for me). I made my first and only attempt to quit 10 days ago, CT no taper. I have not relapsed and do not plan to. So kinda like the first time you described for yourself. I really hope I don't go the same route you did, but I guess we'll see :)

Where we differ is that I am a savant with technology, not art. Very different skill-sets and mind-sets. But similar ego. You see where I'm going with this? From reading your posts, I think your greatest enemy is the fact that you're the greatest. Admit you're an addict all day long, admit you can't control it, it doesn't matter because when you go to work you're still better than the next guy on talent alone. No effort required. Just too damn good to believe. I don't really have any suggestions, I just thought these observations might help. I'm not religious, but I like speaking (Vulgate) Latin because of the way it sounds. So if you don't speak it, Google this: "Contritionem praecedit superbia et ante ruinam exaltatur spiritus". That's my message. Best of luck to you sir.

[overopiates]

So happy for u.Glad u came back to let us know how ur doing.u r determined and thats great.Have u thought of any aftercare?u sound so happy and thats great but u can easily get them&n ur line of work u r around them.Just dnt want u to slip.maybe u can find a place where they have NA meetings.How is ur wife feeling?is she happy?

[Tat2guy]

Really, thank you all... You have no idea how much it helped, just to tell someone, anyone... It has been my little secret for years now.. Not no more... Never again...

[Tat2guy]

Twenty days and life is so much better, and clear.. Thank you all for actually giving a ****.. Hopefully one day I can help one of you..  Vecci4u second to the last thing you said meant a lot to me... I really appreciate your help.. I been meaning to come on here for two weeks now.. But I was scared to read up at what I said when I first posted.. I was so lost at that time, felt like the world was on my shoulders.. I am almost 100%..  And my mind is focused more then it has been in years.... If there's anything I can do or help anyone with, let me know...

[Pat1956100]

You should stay away from the suboxone.  You were on day 3 and the worst was almost over.  I found too when I took a pill during withdrawals that the high was different and a little scary.  I just didn't enjoy it anymore.  Probably how normal people feel taking meds.  It gets rid of the pain but they don't really like the feeling that it gives them lol.
I have read that suboxone is very hard to come off of.  
I am on day 7 after many attempts to get clean.  Taking anything now only prolongs the agony.  Hang in there.